heee~~~ ^_^

1st kendo practice summary

2011-10-12T22:35:00.000-07:00

so.. lemme summarize hw it went... 4 months of kendo-free vacation is takin d toll on me now... *oh yeah.. exercise free too.. which made things evn 'btr' ^^*

Intro
->pre warm up prep
--> arrive slightly early than practice time: good; didnt manage to tie my all my do himo before called to line up: bad -.-;;; *yeah i was doing that while jumping@warm up*

Part I: Warm up
-> the usual stuff
--> thought i was gonna die from haya-suburi --> obvi, due 2 lack of prac im waaayyy slower nw T.T and my arms get SUPER tired ezly T.T

Part II: Shiai Keiko
-> my 1st rxn was: OMG I jz got bck and my first practice is shiai???!!!!!!
--> managed to do.. umm do? owh well.. at least it was a draw + a cut on my toe... >.< 1st time i actly hurt myself *minus of blisters* while doing kendo... -.-;;; Thanks to Bolling Sensei who patched me up though ^^

Part III: Waza
-> let's see.. kirikaeshi, men uchi, kote uchi, do uchi, kote men, de-kote, multiple strikes~
--> i used to have lots of fun doing de-kote.. and now im really really bad at it.. timing = fail T.T i reli need to work on it >.< fast!! >.< im always bad at do... -.-;; so yeah.. trying 2 improve on it.. kote men --> i did funny stuff all d time.. so i end up slowing down a bit... multiple: worse -.-;;

Part IV: Jikeiko
-> the usual stuff...
--> which also mean i almost fainted during the whole keiko... there goes all my stamina.. >.<

Conclusion
-> talked with people and met my jr *lol... im d MIA sr*
--> it was really fun and refreshing.. and these are what I get from doing kendo tonight:
i. fun
ii. catch up with peepz
iii. bleeding toe
iv. blister on my left hand
v. a bruise which is swelling up on my right hand *i think that was meant for my kote* xD
vi. exhausted that i gotta take short stops on d way bck home... my body jz refused 2 listen 2 me~
---> owh well.. friday another round and i hope ill go bck home in a better shape ^^

~sigh~

2011-10-12T14:36:00.000-07:00

i am certain that i am under pressure at d mo

due 2 d overwhelming assignments~ T.T

and that's why d way i react is gettin weirder over the days...

*more like since when im nervous i smile.. i end up laughin these days... for no single spec reasons*

bt more like jz 2 calm myself down~

owh gosh.. either i do that.. or just close my eyes and re-think my priorities and strategy hw 2 survive tis new quarter...

학생 생활이 힘들지만 포기하면 안 돼! ㅋㅋㅋ 힘내! ^^

bck!

2011-10-10T23:19:00.000-07:00

back in seattle... after a long journey..
and yet.. i am still unsettled..
not due to jetlag (which i managed to experience this time) -.-;;;
but due to never ending assignments..
yeah.. skippin 3 days of school = more things to catch up..
bt i din expect it to take more than the weekends to catch up with things >.<
nevertheless...

today i started volunteering again at bf day school..
yeah after 1 acad year.. ^^
and i was reli happy 2 b bck~
at least d kid i hv is reli obedient.. ^^
and kind and nice n sweet..
n almost evrytin im x~
good 2 b bck....

and i shall end here and return bck 2 my assignments T.T

i had nutin 2 do...

2011-09-17T11:17:00.000-07:00

when i have nutin to do..
and i listen to slow songs *as if i dun do do tis daily*
so i end up doin tis....

The Uncertain Yesterday

Staring at the moon, on a silent night
Silently thinking
Will this sweet tasting yesterday last till my last breath?
Will this heart warming yesterday last till my last breath?
If I could hold on to the memory of yesterday
If I could hold on to the feeling from yesterday
Will the feeling called happiness be mine?
Or will it fade away and leave me with the feeling of emptiness?

Hoping the lonely moonlight would sing me the answers
And yet all I had was more to ponder
Will he be just another past?
or will he be more than a mere memory?

Walking through this rocky road of life
Swimming through the sea of fate
As we fade from each other's sight
I silently ponder
Will yesterday be another past or the future?

ok done! ^^ --> after re-reading it.. i wonder if there is any aesthetic value in that or if it even makes sencse *an obvi sign tat i should read more* -.-;;

updates!

2011-09-12T08:33:00.000-07:00

let's see.............................

7 weeks had passed since i started my internship..
n nw its over...
approx 2 more weeks 2 go b4 i head 4 korea --> seattlesometimes i wonder..
y does time fly soo fastesp when it is something which i wan it 2 last...s
omething imp... at least 2 me ^^
no matter hw trivial peepz mite tink it is...
it need x b sometin big or eye catching..
evn sumtin small..evn sumtin as simple as a smile..it could def make my day.. ^^
*n yes, im still smilin 4 a reason* ^^
so internship~~~i totally njoyed d whole 7 weeks...
n i did wish it could last longeror at least 4 time 2 pass by slower
no.. it doesnt mean d job was ez...bt i def did fall in luv with d atmosphere.. ^^
i wouldnt mind returnin 2 kbs..
bt id say ive kinda set my eys on kln..
though where ill b sent by jpa is yet a question unans til i grad n report bck 4 duty~
i wonder if ill eva find a workin atm as fun as wat i went through..
all d laughters and jokes...all d frowns n complaints~ xD
but cant deny im totally exhausted as soon as i get bck
-->nap in d car or passing out by 9pm xD <-- which is sooo not me xD *oni d passing out early~*
but owh well...
there is a reason 4 everytin, i guess
wonder wats in store 4 me in d futurewonder hw wat i go thru 2day will affect my future....
such is how life works...wonders of life... wat we cherish today shall remain wif us forever...
d tiniest things which peepz usually overlook.. is wt actly could touch another's heart..i guess... ^^
at least i noe tat is kinda true...4 me at least...

enuf wif my rambling on work... movin on~

my cute baby niece!!
gosh.. im so happy i went 2 perak...
gosh.. i wish i could meet her again b4 i leave...
or mayb i shall try my best 2 wait patiently till i come bck 2 msia...
perhaps dec, nxt year, or in 2 years time? O_O
she is def x my 1st niece.. bt at least d first baby niece...
hehehe anak2 sedare yg ade skrg sume x jauh beza umo.. so i guess d xcitement is diff....
yeah i hv baby cuz who r really tiny... and young...
bt still.. it gvs a diff kinda feeling...its more like..i cant reli dscrb it in words...
anyways.. more like.. d nxt gen of d fam is jumpin 2 d nxt step in life...
n well.. long story.. bt there r various othr reasons y i hv these kinda mixd feelin... -.-;;;;
aftr d age of 21.. u do kinda change ur perspective on certain things on life, dun u?
mayb tis is wat u call as bein more matured...
hmm.. bt lookin at hw i act.. i doubt im movin in2 tat drctn~

nxt few things whch i need 2 do:
1. study (korean n environment)
2. buy stuff
3. pack stuff (seattle n korea)
4. get enuf rest!
5. pick out new dramas n animes while my break lasts.. (as if it makes a diff when school starts)

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reality Check

2011-08-05T00:08:00.000-07:00

I thought I saw a star,
Shining brightly in the dark sky,
To brighten my days of sorrow.

I though I saw a shining sun
Ending the sleepless dark nights,
A ray of hope;
Warmth of love.

I thought a mind once set will never crumble
Steps once made will never stumble,
And yet here I am
Staring at the ground
With a heart broken to pieces,
And I'm falling deeper
Into an eternal darkness.

alas~~~

2011-07-26T23:23:00.001-07:00

alas im done wif my work~~~ *for d day at least*
ok wait.. another one.. bt well.. nothin i cn do til d othr party ans d phone call~~~
so... x counted~~ ^^
nw im studyin in my cube~~~
whee korean.. i miss studyin korean...
bt somehw its makin me sleepy >.<
i shudnt sleep, rite? -.-;;;;

on the way back home~~~

2011-06-10T23:12:00.000-07:00

wheeeeeeeee~~~~~~~~~~~~
there goes my almost-one-day travel in korea ^^
it was so short.. yet i think it is more memorable this time~~
honestly, knowing korean does allow more things to happen around me~
hing~ such as talking with my crappy korean with people + trying hard to graps what the other person is talking about with my worse than limited vocab -.-;;;
but i would say.. regardless of that... i managed to survive!
and i wasnt too worried of getting lost *due to my lack of sense of direction --> it is almost unavoidable.. except when im in seattle*
nevertheless...
despite the hot weather *i frowned quite a bit when walking under the hot sun + definitely hot weather* -.-;;;;
now on d way back home ^^

another academic year has passed~

2011-06-09T12:01:00.000-07:00

i cant believe another academic year has gone... and i am on the way back home.. once again..
it was so fun that time passes within a blink of an eye...
for all my complaints *because of workload, etc but it felt like time passed by too quickly....
what happened to my 24 hours per day?
what have i done that it went away without me realizing it?
it almost felt like i was in a dream and i just woke up from a bitter-sweet dream ^^
can the dream repeat itself?

a new academic year is gone
while some are leaving to achieve their own dreams..
there will always be new people to meet with~
while excitement in meeting with them is undeniable
the memories we painted together is an unforgettable landscape
remembering the good times we spent together
can time just stop
or better,
can i go back to the days when we are all together?

the picture we painted together is so beautiful that it hurts to look at it from afar... ^^

me me me me me T.T

2011-05-03T14:48:00.001-07:00

i need 2 conc on wat im spose 2 do.. lookin at wat ive been doin.. im doin more tinkin than d readin which r due T.T i shudnt do tis.. T.T

there is sumtin on my mind.. n i shud get it out... >.< i shud... bt... it isnt...

perhaps.. one day... this weekends when i hv d time id let it out... in words ^^

a painting of words? xD

the confused me..

2011-04-13T15:22:00.001-07:00

when i was walking back home.. it just popped out of my brain..

"dont say things u dun mean... coz ur d 1 who will end up gettin hurt~"

somehow.. somehow.. >.< and somehow....i feel out of it.............like i jz wan 2 bury myself in my blanky n x go anywhere >.<;;;

confused me...

im so.. immature T.T

my 1st ever homemade ice cream!!

2011-03-26T22:12:00.000-07:00

YES i managed to make my own ice cream~ without an ice cream maker.. yes.. texture wise not as smooth as how i wish it would be but since i dont have d maker.. so yeah~ ^^ heee green tea ice cream.. nxt time i ought to reduce 1 egg yolk but it stil taste gud as it is now ^^ heeee and its easy to make.. besides my impatience to eat it... ^^ but its reli simple~ HEHEHE i guess i kinda memorized hw 2 make it by nw.. im glad i strained d mixture b4 freezing it.. so tat there r x lumps of watever stuff in my ice cream~ HEEE nxt time.. i shall try out some other flavor.. HEEEE im so proud of myself.. for real.. this time :D

pre and post finals!

2011-03-19T07:11:00.000-07:00

----------------------------pre (last) finals---------------------------------------------------

sooooooooooooooooooooooo yes! i felt useful on 17th.. :D volunteerin is a gud thing 2 do.. ^^ its a gud experience.... so wat i did was helpin JCCW 2 collect donations 4 peace winds america n american red cross... ^^ one thing i learnt is x judge a person by their physical appearance.. those who i thought might donate end up din do tat and those i din expect actly donated quite generously! not all.. but well.. some.. it's hard to convince peepz 2 donate at some point.. and esp d 1st time when we *joyce n me* were standin at d side there.. we did look kinda illegit.. LOL college students without any id, etc sdnly standing there askin 4 donations... if im in their shoes i wouldnt donate too... lol we did get.. yeah i will donate but not here --> change of strat --> jz give out flyers until we got the donation box, name tag and d red cross vest ^^

wat i did that day... collect donations, gv our flyers and run around uwa 2 send d box to and fro ^^it was tiring.. in a way.. *i was bowing excessively -.-;;;* n i kinda realize i used a higher pitch tha usual and smiling more than usual and a bit more.. umm kinder lookin than usual (?) lolz.. owh wel.. i guess i was hepi wif wat i was doin~ its fun and rewarding ^^ and on top of that.. gotta socialize around wif other volunteers.. meetin new peepz! which is always fun :) i shud do these kinda things more often... it is pretty rewarding... so yeah ^^ and of course, it didnt rain which allowed us to remain dry the whole day... and def, since its in uwa... shoppin.. and bought my edamame and gobo.. and sotaimo! :DDDD heee cookin is fun :)

---------------------post finals--------------------------------------------------------------

meet up wif d gurls (dib, joyce, manny, keat yee, chai fong, yih en) and had sushi for dinner after my finals!!! musashi @ wallingford... it's pretty nice there i guess.. a bit small --> x reli a fam place 2 go bt its a gud place 2 jz drop by get something and get going.. ^^ it is gud and d price is reasonable :) tnx 2 joyce who dragged all of us there.. ^^ and then later after that --> bbtea at oasis and guess who i met.. noelle and damon.. xD chat 4 a bt b4 joinin d gurls gain... ^^ *owh n i got green mango slush xD --> it's ok i guess bt x sour >.<*we talk bout lots of random stuff... boy we havent met 4 a long time!! it felt like a tiny reunion.. xcept tat we din take tat much pics xD i kinda miss evry1.. we shud def do tat again soon... talk talk talk at oasis til ard 9 --> went 2 bartells --> joyce hse till 1100 -.-;;; --> bck home.. lol

anime anime anime --> essay --> anime --> essay --> anime --> essay --> anime --> edit! i luv editin bt i tink editin is harder than writin d paper itself.. i did edit my own ppr n ended up rewritin d whole essay --> cz d msg wasnt clear.. -.-;;;;;; owh well.. lets c hw things goes...

ps: i jz pulled an all nighter.. havent slept since i woke up 4 xm... i nvr pull all nighter 4 d right reason xD

im silly~ LOL

2011-03-14T16:16:00.000-07:00

so due to the past few days of hibernating b4 i reli wanna do tat.. i tried to do things one step ahead b4 my brain tell myself to hibernate.. :DDDD i tried to outdo myself.. LOL so what i did was past midnite --> turn off d lights --> roll myself wif my blanky --> continue readin my notes and that was the nite when i stayed up pretty late but then alas.. i did sleep in front of my lappy without me realizin it.. xcept tat tis time i managed to save some electricity rather than waking up and WTH! lights are still on~ xD d silly things i do~ xD

and. and... my listenin practice for korean.. :D im very happy i am a bit more enlightened when listenin korean songs.. im no more listenin jz 4 d heck of it bt im tryin 2 understand d song.. :DDD its goin on pretty well so far *minus off the vocab i dont know* but there are a few things which i realize are my major weakness. i havent managed 2 tell d diff between ㅗ n ㅓ, ㅔ n ㅐ *though i was told it sounds d same bt its hard 4 me to translate what it means coz i keep on gettin d wrong spelling* and double consonants. i would also say in songs its hard for me to catch the word and it kinda makes me confused... and i feel totally silly when i read the lyrics and im like.. owh.. i noe tat word actually -.-;;;;;;;;;;;; orz owh well.. more room for improvement! ^^

me T.T --> bad student @.@

2011-03-13T13:10:00.000-07:00

these couple of days.. ive been falling a sleep in front of my laptop.. and i have x idea wat time did i exactly fall asleep T.T d nxt thing i noe.. i wake up around 4am and d lights and all are still on.. and def my laptop.. ill b like half asleep... turn off d lights --> shut down my laptop --> grab my mp3 *for some reasons and turn it on* --> and hibernate again... my brain is hibernatin b4 i tell it 2 do so.... this is.. x bad but shocking... usually i tell myself 2 sleep.. but now sleep comes before i want 2... LOL i cant exactly blame my brains.. ive been tryin 2 think of multiple things at d same time... straighten things up... etc.. n yesterday was cleanin day 2 *d ritual b4 finals *though nw its gettin messay again but well..* i guess i was quite exhausted... bt i shud def start studyin... d 3 main things i need 2 do are: studyin --> writing --> writing xD 2 writings... one for my sis and one for myself.. so yeah~ T.T time management! xD

question of the day: how bad can i mess things up?

2011-03-07T13:23:00.000-08:00

ok so today.. i know i need to go to school early.. to print out my script to pass it to my teacher... wake up early, checked! yes i managed to wake up earlier than usual.. more like i have been waking up earlier than usual the past couple of days.. for some unknown reason.. maybe my brain is taking charge of my body and telling me how i need to start waking up early... owh.. well.. but i did end up rolling in my blanky for another half an hour.. but even after that its still earlier than usual~

get stuff ready... edit the script again *adding in all the corrections* and then i was thinking.. i need to do something with it.. but.. owh well... i have no idea what is it... let's just shut the laptop and start getting ready to school... *mistake 1*

then move out of room --> take all stuff i need and went to reheat my lunch... then --> owh... why are things not so clear.. gosh.. spectacles *mess up 2* --> went to the room and get it

packing stuff up.. hmm.. today saba... wait... i think i need something else... what else should i bring for my lunch.. yeah.. gum.. crap, its in the room *mess up 3* --> went back to my room and get it

ok.. today.. IMA.. clothes, etc all ready... owh wait... shoes.. hmm its in the locker room.. owh yeah... my socks for wateva im gonna do there... nice.. i gotta go to my room again *mess up 4*

so yeah.. from leaving at 945... i ended up leaving at 1010. yeah still have a lot of time to go to ode --> PAA and still not be late for class... i can walk fast.. heeee... not too bad...

walking to the lib.. why do i need 2 go there.. yeah print the script... i lost my USB again.. so.. crap, i forgot to mail the document to my own email so that i can print it... owh yeah, that was what i was supposed to do before shutting down my laptop *continuation of mess up 1* man.. whats wrong with me today... so rushed to the library... and my laptop took ages to start up... got it printed at 1030. there goes my time management... rushed to class... late but thankfully class havent started yet... \^O^/

lunch time... ok sweet. lunch... yeah.. xcept i kinda lost my appetite since yesterday --> gotta force myself to eat *+ yesterday, forced myself to cook.. i dun feel like it at all* so i thought things will be fine from now... well x reli fine but at least without any messing up of stuff.. ate lunch.. ok i wanna drink my tea... and then... THEN! damn i forgot to soak my tea bag -.-; *mess up 5* seriously...

its only half day gone.. i wonder what else can i mess up today.. 5 things in a day... im feeling even worse now... i havent been feeling right for the past few days and i guess.. its causin me to mess my days even more... T.T

---------------------------part 2

went to d gym.. got lazy.. i was supposed to do some stretchin + sit up + push up --> laziness.. i cut everything to lesser number of times... see... im lazy and i ended up staring at the ceiling or at the floor for a few mins.. i din reli mess netin up here or there at ima. but then i managed to do elliptical at a constant pace *HAHAHA* for 30mins.. which means.. mayb.. maybe my stamina is gettin a bit better! :D (+1) so yeah i was pretty happy~ :D

so after ima-ing inclusive of all d stuff i do there... i started to walk back home.. HOME early coz internet was really bad back at suz... it was soo slow i felt like i could faint.. i couldnt even talk 2 my fwen... gosh... (mu6)

so i was walkin hepily.. innocently tinkin things will b fine now.. walking.. walking.. looking at the grass and then i almost twisted my ankle... (mu7) i wasnt jumping or anything like it... i just almost fell and was close to twisting my ankle.. T.T for no reason... for no reason at all.... no1. it was embarrassing no2. it hurts.. a bit... when i thought all will be fine.. T.T

nxt.. i started walking like an obaasan.. super slow... and my bag was sumwat super heavy.. its d usual load but it felt worse than usual all d way up d stairs frm ima... man.. i guess its just me being weird... maybe its d weight of wat im tinkin off makes me a bit.. crazy.. possibly... -.-; but well... and i continued walkin slowly xcept when crossing roads *i dun plan 2 get hit by a car or anger drivers for crossing like a turtle* so yeah... it took me hmm... 40mins ish to walk back today... lol.. double the time than usual... -.-;

but on d way bck... (mu8) took place... yeah... i was walkin and suddenly i dropped my file for no reason.. i was holding it and it just.. slipped.. i tink i accidentally let it go.. or something like that... i didnt bump into anythin neither was i shocked by anything.. i just... dropped it... for no apparent reason... -.-;

at least now im safe bck at home... i hope im not going 2 do anytin which could make things worse for me.. studies wise.. im almost done with all readings.. so not too bad.. ill try my best 2 b gentler 2 myself~

phew.. looonnnggg day~ ^_^

2011-03-06T00:16:00.000-08:00

today is highline taikai! yeah,, initially i was more to super nervous that i thought im going to faint at the dojo.. but i guess i wasnt supremely nervous that it didnt actually happen *good thing* so i managed to wake up early and got at the parking lot on time 2 meet up with the others~ *phew* looking at how bad i am at waking up in the morning.. it is a really good thing that i managed to pull it off... more like i know i can wake up just that im being plain old lazy me~ XD

so d taikai.. it went well... tied one, lost 2.. -.-; but at least it's d experience which really matters to me... some comments which i received *it sumwat sounds like tis*

1. you make many good hits *HIHIHI* but i dont know which one do you want. u need to show me what you really want to hit so that i can call it a point --> resolution: i need 2 b more decisive when doin any matches and instead of just hitting whatever i can get.. plan ahead.. *if i can do tat -.-;*

2. you were 2 close in, so that's why all ur hit gets jammed --> resolution: im bad at my distance, bt ill try 2 be more mindful of it and instead of just hitting whenever i want to.. i should think first~

3. you did good by chasing them after getting hit but you should do it at 3/4 of their speed so tat u dun get too close in and hit too deep --> resolution: i should use my common sense more rather than just go around running.. gotta remember distance T.T

4. you might need to hold your komai higher since others are taller so its ez 4 thm 2 get ur men. but you put a lot of pressure *or is it tension.. -.-;* im proud of you! *i love Noelle!* :D --> resolution: adjust my komai and continue putting pressure

conclusion: i need 2 use my brain more durin kendo.. i shall have fun but at d same time more tactical? hee im kinda xcited for practice tis wed and uw taikai too~ :D fun friday, most prob ill jz help out.. unless if sumtin else cmes up~ esp since im a 4kyu.. i tink i shud def try harder 2 improve my kendo... and x mess around too much.. bt at d same time not lose d fun of doin kendo :)

hmm other imp dates... lets c... meetings and quizzes...
03.16 --> korean finals
03.18 --> sisea 212 finals

and

i shall stop there.

Report 4 d 3 days break!

2011-02-22T10:52:00.000-08:00

YES i managed 2 do almost evrytin i wanted 2 do + others which i din plan 2 do~

wat i did:
- cleaning + laundry
- cookin gud food ^^
- enuf sleep~~~ :D
- memorize vocab
- finish up reading 4 sisea

wat is almost done:
- korean comp: oni formatin left
- phys 110 ppr --> hvnt started writin bt research started :D
- d project: oni left 2 knit d bag ^^ --> whch wasnt exactly planned

wat i din plan 2 do:
- mochi
- warcraft --> i totally miss this >.< so yeah... i was def more productive bt gettin lazier by mon... and joyce visited me on mon 2! which made me evn lazier 2 study aftr tat.. n nw im in my class --> sposed 2 study bt umm~ XD

alas~ i cooked... stuff i like~ :DDD

2011-02-21T00:51:00.001-08:00

so.. so.. so.. today... well it was stil pretty simple food but alas i cooke dmy siakap @sea bass :DDD steamd wif soy sauce... i made d sauce twice since d 1st time it was too sweet~~ so yeah... i was makin it n tis time i added some ginger powder~ n it tasted better... bt then.. i 4got sumtin else~~~ which is my sesame oil -.-; i was tinkin wat was missin n ti din strike my mind until... after i finished eatin.. -.-; im that bad at rememberin wat is imp i guess~ so, wat i had was soy sauce, water, sugar, ginger powder n nxt time + sesame oil.. mayb it will b closer 2 my version of perfect sauce.. though i doubt i will still b satisfied.. without d coriander at least.. since tat is where d frag comes from~ >.< and today was d 1st time i made mochi! well it def wasnt in d list of stuff i shud do bt since i had time.. i did it.. overal it was ok bt it took me quite some time since i was cookin + makin mochi at d same time --> cant concentrate or do both at quick pace -.-; multitaskin cn backfire at certain points i guess -.-; so yeah... bt well.. mochi was ok~ though im x satisfied.. im more forgivin since its d 1st time i made it.. so yeah.. total experiment so i guess it worked~ :D n mayb joyce mite drop by 2 taste some 2mr.. hehehe n i mite stil continue 2 do my assign when she is here~~ :D bad me.. as a host -.-; bt i cant help it since i wanna finish my reading, start my paper n memorize my vocab >.< hahahaha 3 more things 2 do.. more like 2.5 things 2 do..so yeah!

ps: i tink im waaayyy more productive these 2 days than my normal weekends :DD

Plans for the 3 days Break~~~

2011-02-19T01:20:00.000-08:00

okok so akhirnye isnin ni cuti *rindu nk gune bm >.<* hahaha nk kate all things r goin fine.. x reli... cm a bit disappointment bt there r also some joys here n there~but well.. wat is life wihtout d downs.. u cn nvr always b at d top~ being down makes u appreciate hw it feels 2 b up~ sumtin like tat.. sadness makes u appreciate happiness and pain makes u appreciate joy~ or sumtin like tat~~nevertheless... i have plans 4 d weekends~ 3 days break~~ at least these are the stuff i OUGHT to do... doesnt mean im gonna do it.. but i def shud >.<

1. clean up d room
2. laundry *tis is def goin.. since its a weekly thing* + cook sumtin nice 4 myself ^^ --> since ive been eatin xtremely simple stuff these days -.-;
3. start PHYS 110 paper
4. finish up korean composition
5. get done wif 'i-am-gonna-be-an-aunty-soon' project
6. get enuf sleep n rest
7. memorize vocab...
8. finish up reading 4 SISEA 242

ok.. 8.. only.. ONLY??!! >.< i guess i shud say.. 8???! a lot! >.< i wonder if ill b able 2 get it done by d end of monday.. maybe i would.. mayb i wouldnt.. but well.. i def shud gv it a shot! ^_^

Just a few things over the weekends

2011-02-14T14:18:00.000-08:00

weekends were busier than i expected 4 several reasons~ no1. cleaning day. yeah! i was doing quite major room clean up over the weekends *incl climbing my table and puttin stuff on the cupboard* and putting things at places where i think are most appropriate. just to make my room look bigger *though it is small, really* nevertheless... i can tell you it is getting messy again.. the usual me.. -.-; so much for cleaning like a mad person.. another reason i was a cleaning frantically is because there were oreo crumbs on my floor because of sumtin i was makin.. i was like WTH! y am i so messy >.< so yeah --> vacuum --> alcohol --> clean up~ ^^ it made me happy though reli reli reli exhausted...

and yeah... tempering n coatin choc is fun but time consumin... no1 nvr make it in d middle of d nite.. since i was cleanin in d afternoon n evening... i made d great decision 2 temper stuff at nite.. after 10pm.. -.-; and it lasted til well past midnite... temperin was ez bt x coatin.. coatin was... at some point.. a pain... esp since i made d stupid mistake of mixin a few at d same time --> clumped together --> FAIL! T.Taftr tat i gotta make another batch of tempered choc n tis time --> learnt my lesson --> did 1 by one... *d reason 4 it lasting till well past midnite* i wasnt exactly unhappy or cursin it.. *which is unusual 4 me x 2 do if im tired* i was pretty.. umm.. contented n happy... sumhow ^^ and well... lets jz say i tink it paid off.. *2day at least*

n well... one of my classmate prepard sumtin 4 d whole class 2 vday.. n well.. i thought.. mayb i shud do tat too.. so i did wrapped some stuff 4 d whole class... bt obvi d choc were x homemade... some hersheys frm safeway wrapped in *mydin* plastic bags *since i have nutin else 2 wrap it in... -.-; im glad i still have ribbons.. n yeah.. since it took ages.. *though id say wrapping n makin box was way longer* bt i was complainin a bit 2 my friend but i was stil hepi n satisfied though i managed 2 get it done ^^ so yeah.. mission accomplished... the small mission 4 my classmates n d other one which have been planned 4 quite sometime.. though id say i wanted 2 make another kinda choc bt it failed --> so d 1 whch was done was actly a last minute change of plans~ bt im still pretty satisfied~ ^^

despite bein a bit down bt i managed 2 pull things off well.. life gotta go on.. no matter how hard things go... i noe *n i reli belive* there are always those who would look after me.. n id def take care of them too.. *bt at diff degree 4 diff peepz* XD *i sound evil.. wait... i am evil... :D*

a dreamer's wish~

2011-02-02T00:09:00.000-08:00

today is like yesterday
as the sun shines and the wind blows
and i let my soul rest
to sync and sing with the chirping birds
as yesterday becomes a history
and today becomes a memory
and i make a wish for tomorrow
even if the sun stop shining and the wind stop blowing
my heart would still overflow with this warm feeling
overflowing with joy
and thoughts of you.

my little heaven

2011-01-19T17:50:00.000-08:00

i was doin my readin 4 my sisea 242 class.. hee.. as usual, daydreaming and gettin distracted: my specialty ^_^

The past was when the sky was bright
the past was when laughter filled the empty space
the past was when we could run freely like the birds
crossing the green fields and flowers smiling brightly
wind dancing to the rhythm of nature
and us... happiness filled our soul.

what robbed us from our little heaven?
the past i've known tainted with the black yesterday
the lingering taste of happiness has died
red sea on the green field
lifeless bodies lying on this sacred land
children crying and women singing endless song of pain
where is the heaven i once called home?

trying to erase the darkness
as i stood alone at the green field
searching for hope in the blue sky
looking for the light from within the darkness
planting seeds of strength from the buds of sadness.

waiting... again and again...

2011-01-13T00:18:00.000-08:00

waiting can either make or break a person~ i guess it is a bad idea to make a person esp if that person is imp to u but wat makes things harder if u r actly imp 2 tat person jz tat u dun noe it n u sumwat make d other person wait 4 u without intending 2 do so~ as for waitin is concern, it depends on d contxt on hw long i could take it~ bt jz in general... im x a fan of waitin; considerin my lack of patience and temper --> lol --> bad idea XD

cant deny though, durin tat period *long wait* id usually reflect on myself and rethink of my position... wats on d surface mite x b d same wif wats inside... bt at d same time d more i try 2 hid d more it shows, mayb~ and at one point perhaps its best to jz let it flow~ emotions is sumtin which i like 2 equate to water. stop it frm flowing --> build up --> can either later dry up or it cn ruin d dam *d dam being my common sense, maybe* so yeah --> either way its bad; either i numb myself frm feeling it again or i break... lettin it flow puts me in a vulnerable position bt yeah~ id say im x tat gud at it bt well... due 2 my selfishness... i shud do tat sumtimes though d more imp sumtin is 2 me, d more id try 2 hide it bt tink about it again, mayb x 2 much of hiding~ XD ok, i dunno bt well~ i wouldnt do anytin too public... i guess at some point id rather it go unnoticed... ^_^ 난 정말~ 바보처럼~ 근양... at one point it feels like im tryin 2 prtct my own self by doin tat.... though i noe i mite hv hurt myself evn more cz of tat... >.< 지금 어떻게 해야 돼? 기다리지 않으면 슬프고 계속 기다리면 마음이 아프거든~ ㅜ.ㅜ there i go.. talkin nonsense again.. mayb i shud focus on my reading~~~ ^_^

(Glass Heart)
A shattering sound
and i searched for the broken glass
yet these blinded eyes
see nothing but a picture of self
numbed from the chill of cry
and yet the lips were painted with a smile
could a person be buried with deception
to cover a feeling with a feeling
and that deceiver is I
the empty smile on a hollow image of me
continuously bleeding without a sign
as i am the owner of the broken heart of glass.

no, i'm just writing nonsense~

2011-01-04T09:06:00.000-08:00

as usual, i was being a bit emotional after the drama i watched ended~ well, it ended at 1am last night but i only get to sleep at 130-ish because i was reminiscing the whole story~ XD i would say there are some facts found within the context of the drama but i think there are definitely some which was added deliberately in order to make this drama a drama, not a historical documentary~

talking about drama~ on the way back home from school i was thinking *after hours of watching drama* our life is a drama itself~ the curtain was raised as soon as we were born and will be dropped once the time comes... don't you think so? as much as directors used downturns and happiness to stir emotions within the viewers, if we were to reflect upon our previous deeds, we might realize that our life might be more dramatic than the dramatic dramas' that we have watched. T.T --> again another nonsense... but perhaps the reason these events went silently pass us is because it happened within a long period of time throughout our life instead of being shown 1 hour daily or weekly on tv~ time gave us space to think and calm ourselves down before the next major event happens which makes the rush of feelings to not be as intense as the drama~ yes, there are events which remain etched in our hearts and some which remain as painful as when it happened but well~ as time passes by, it will eventually heal a bit and it will help us to be stronger ^_^ as long as a person owns a heart and some conscience, believe it or not~ they could change to be better in the future :)

the small things which happen in life occurs all the time and as in the drama i guess it is true that small events do shape your mind~ and make a big difference~ a simple note or a simple smile from the person important to you could make a big difference... and a simple stare or provocation from the person who you take as your enemy could stir the worst emotions from deep within your heart. i guess i know this quite well because... that is how i am? maybe~ i myself have yet to understand and totally comprehend how my brain works, so~ yeah...

my story has yet to end and so is yours~ there are still a lot of things which we will go through, good or bad, alone or together, but i think we should always remind ourselves that there is always a reason behind each events and we should learn to benefit from each of them despite how painful it is or despite how meaningless it seems to us at first sight~ we are the actor, director but others are the audience. let's continue our small journey and make the best our of everything! ^^ *major rambling*

more walkin~

2010-12-17T19:10:00.000-08:00

after my 5 hours of sleep~ i woke up and got ready for d 2nd day~~~^^ 1st stop: Malaysian Consulate to get my passport done~ i stil need 2 get d postal money order and buy stamps since i dun plan 2 go 2 LA again 2 pick it up~ so thats that~~~ gosh~ i jz realized tat i kinda miss talkin proper bm~ like full sentence bm~ i shud do tat more often~ and i def need 2 find usps around~ i did ask d officer bt sumhow i couldnt find it jz nw T.T

today2~~~ hihihi i was walkin towards chinatown which jz dun seem to appear tat i stoppd by at a train station 2 chck out d map~ i chckd out n i found koreatown instead :DDD so i was kinda thinkin~ shud i go 2 chinatown or koreatown? XD aftr some tinkin~~~ *while walkin searchin 4 union station* i made up my mind 2 go 2 koreatown 1st! so i happily enterd union station and got~ umm~ lost. more like i dunno which train 2 take and all~ so i askd metrolink officers~ i asked 2 people and both gave me pretty umm less than helpful answers~ d 1st: i tink u need 2 take d gold line *which is actly wrong~ its purple line~ d fact tat i did c d map b4 askin did help~ or i mite hv gotten lost* 2nd: i dunno~ there is a phone there. y dun u call d customer service? T.T owh well~ i fig tat if i could jz find a more detaild n helpful map id get thre on my own~ thank god there were maps rite at d corner so i pickd it up n got on my way 2 ktown ^^

got on d train and lookd 4ward 2 go 2 ktown ^^ arrived and started walkin aimlessly~ serious, i din do any planning at all~ letz jz say i dun evn noe im goin 2 ktown 2day~ T.T so yeah~ i started walking~ saw a few (beauty salon) and then i stopped at a bakery (manna bakery)i was tinkin if i shud say sumtin in korean bt i ended up jz smiling~ so i was walking around d bakery and found sesame biscuit and almost biscuit which cost usd1 each~ pretty cheap i tink~ ^^ so i bought it and said (tq) n then the (owner) lookd so shockd tat she askd (are you a korean)which made me xplain (no, im not. but i learn korean language in school) and then she started tellin me tat her son cant speak korean well but drinks well~ hehehehe bcoz korean is (hard, isnt it) i just agreed throughout~ but yeah~ korean is hard~ but interestin! n then i walkd around a bit and found tis~ a since 1966 korean restaurant~ it was too temptin not to drop by~~~ (i got kongguksu: it was nice but i tink because it's cold and the weather is cold too it wasnt exactly my fav meal~ well, my bad~ i shudnt hv ordered a cold meal T.T

and then i took d train and left for chinatown~ well~ i din do much coz i jz walk around a bit and it was raining~ so i was wet a bit~ stayin in seattle made me well~ more accustomed to rain :D nvrtheless i was stil wet~ wat i learn about chinatown is there r lots of clothings~ cheongsam is usd15~ hahaha it was nice u noe~~~ :D and thn i went bck to lil tokyo~ d 2nd time and yet i am stil excited to go there~~~

so wat i did was walk around and started enterin random shops~ hihihi which is fun sumwat~ i started 2 search 4 a few stuff incld yukata~ hihihi i was tinkin of buyin one 4 my sis~ well~ it depends~ if she wants one~ tat is~ its not tat expensive anyway ^^ so yeah~ i mite get one set~ maybe~~~~~

and then~ it was gettin late~ believe it or x~ it took me like an hour walkin at random places~ and i bumped into an obaasan which talked wif me for a moment while crossing the road~ we talked about the weather! it was sumhow fun and light~ ^^ yeah~ arigatou obaasan~ u made my day ^^ it is almost dinner time and i since im x particularly hungry~ i jz bought dango and takoyaki~ it was pretty good!! hihihi i guessd i enjoyed it~ and since i bought a day pass so i took d train to go bck~ n since its raining so i guess its gud too~~ its gettin cold as well~ so~~ im quite fortunate tat i bought a day pass~ ^^

so yeah~ by d time i got bck home~ my jeans was wet till knee length *since i kept on steppin into puddles* and my jacket was half wet and my head scarf was def wet T.T bt well~ it went well~~ lookin 4ward 4 2mr!

*pics comin on l8r cz there r probs wif d lappy sumhow* T.T

도착했다!

2010-12-17T00:55:00.000-08:00

so today is my 1st trip 2 LA on my own~ *b4 my friends comin tis 18th* at d airport~ sum1 askd me hw did i gt cnctd 2 d net~ n i was like uh ok~ n i was tryin to open d browser and all til i realized OWH he did x cnct 2 d wifi~ i felt a bit like an idiot 4 x tinkin of tat at first~ bt well~ all was gud aftr tat ^^ it's alaska airlines~ well~ d sound of d plane was a bit scary~ bt here i am nw ^^ safe n sound ^^

the frozen sea

i was just plain bored T.T

the cloud~ so white and pure~ and i like tis shade of blue~ ^^

so i arrived~ got a taxi 2 hotel whch costed me usd60 T.T *damn!* bt well~ expected i guess~ hilton checkers is nice~ service wise and all~ so id recommend it~ regardless of my lack of attention to these kinda stuff and i dun reli care about customer service unless if it is reli2 bad id say tis is reli good~ ^^ my tolerance is pretty high bt well i tink tis is one of d best ive been to so far~ or more like cz usually its my dad who gets all d ushering and i will b hepily mindin my own stuff at d side without payin any atntn~ so yeah mayb tatz d case too ^^

got 2 d hotel at around 3~ and well around 330 went out~ and id say, gurls dun go around walkin at downtown LA esp at d alleys IF
1. ur alone
2. without a map
3. have bad sense of direction
and well, i qualify for all those 3 T.T how 2 make urself feel safer
1. act like u noe where ur goin. dun stop and look around
2. avoid lookin like a tourist. dun take pic all d time~ well yeah.. cz if u look like ur more accustomed like peepz dun exactly stare at u n all~
3. maintain a straight face n dun look around all d time~ bt stil b aware of ur surroundings
4. take note of landmarks~ at least if u get lost and cant fig out d new route 2 ur hotel, u cn jz backtrack~
so yeah~ i survived~ my journey: finance district --> jewellery district --> fashion district --> warehouse *or izit waresale district? T.T* --> toy district --> lil tokyo ^^ i did plan 2 go there bt i hd no idea hw 2 get there~ it lookd a bit far bt i did manage 2 walk there *aftr gettin a bit lost here n there* x exactly lost bt a bit confused where am i~ i was pretty much reading signboards meant 4 cars :P

so tat is

my lil journey walkin around~ ^^

by d time i arrived at lil tokyo it was gettin darker so i was walkin around searchin 4 a place 2 eat~ and tis is wat i found which made me smile and giggle XD

id dare say d kanji is def diff though XD

well~ i didnt eat there though i really had d urge to XD it was closed by d time i passed by it~ one thing which i realized~ most rest here r open later in d evening rather than hw it is in seattle~ so yeah~ it was a bit weird for me~ ^^ nvrtheless i settled 4 one of d places in the tokyo plaza~ its sushi teri i tink~

tis is d place frm outside

d wall is quite cute~ i actly found terima kasih :D

it looked pretty interesting bt 2 much i tinK~

miss, are you alone? would u like 2 sit by d bar? T.T

d atmosphere was quite ok~ it wasnt exactly home-y cozy kinda thing bt well~ ok~ n i was staring at d chief who was makin d sushi and after eatin i was so full i tink it showd on my face tat he askd me "r u ok? is everything fine?" LOL and well i ordered top much i tink~ so i was pretty much stuffin myself wif food after 1 day of not eating~

chopsticks~~

the ice tea wasnt sweet which was quite 2 my liking~ ^^

miso soup :)

the combo bento~ ^^

all in all it was ok~ bt i guess d unagi was a bit too burned cz it was slightly too bitter at certain parts and d teriyaki sauce was a bit too salty i tink~ sushi wise, i guess usually there r some wasabi spread on d sushi itself bt there wasnt any *i chckd* XD so yeah~ gotta top it a bit more than usual ^^

and well~ after tat i bought some snacks 4 breakfast, walking snacks *jz in case i get hungry while walkin* and when i showed my sis wat i bought she was like~ hmm r u reli in la T.T XD

later then got bck home~ dark~ T.T bt i found my way bck~ i used a diff route wif hopes of walkin at main streets instead of alley as wat i did initially~ got a bit confused here n there bt yeah~ i did arrive safely around 7 ish~ so i guess it took me almost an hour walkin bck home *wif my super slow pace i guess it makes sense*

got bck --> wanted to use the internet so i devised a plan tat i can use d internet till tomorrow after i get bck which is go to bed 4 a bit --> buy internet --> can use til almost 11pm tomorrow~ AND loading as much anime as i can so tat i can watch them tomorrow nite~ i shud try playin dota again too~~ ^^

destination tomorrow: chinatown and little tokyo *again*

owh yes~ its jz 2 waste my time~

2010-12-14T20:51:00.000-08:00

yes! i shud study 4 final 2mr~ no! im not doin tat T.T sposedly done bt i noe i gotta go thru almost evrytin again~ 4 d last time at least~ T.T

life is hard T.T

-end-

ps: if life is less complicated, it wont b xciting like tis, would it? ^_^ 파이팅!!! =)

-silence-

2010-11-29T20:39:00.000-08:00

so~ im supposed 2 write my essay but i end up doing this *i hv the outline ready though~ so its not like i havent worked on anything at all XD*

raindrops
or is it tears?
and my sight blurred
but i could clearly see a figure walking
into the unending dark
and i stood there alone, in the cold
i wanted to call your name
but my voice disappeared, engulfed by the dark night
i wanted to run to you
but my feet were tied, attached to the clinging shadows
eyes shut tight
and a silent prayer
just for another moment, for the last time
hold me tight.

내 생각하는 것~

2010-11-18T01:30:00.001-08:00

너 때문에~ 오랫동안 기다리거든~
그렇지만 너 지금 다른 사람 샐각해~
만나면 기쁘지만 지금 아주 우울하거든
기분이 나쁘고 슬버도 너 아무것도 몰라~
중용한 사람 있어서 행복하게 살아~
너 행복하면 마음이 좀 아프지만 널 위해서 웃을 거야~
아마~ 다시 만날텐데 아직 웃을 거야~
너 나한테 아주 중용하나까~
매일 매일 너 행복하면 좋겠어~
내 마음이 아프도 너 잘 살아면 좋겠어~
너 없어도 난 살 수 있지~
날 위해, 가족을 휘해서~ 살아야 해~
이제 너 필요없어됴 모르지만 난 계숙 살 가야~
계속 웃고 열심히 공부해~ ㅠㅠ (왜 공부????!!!)
아프지만 이제부터 잊기로 했다
이제부터 잊을 거야~
이제부터 열심히 잊어 봐~ ^_^

a child's journey

2010-11-14T12:24:00.000-08:00

a forsaken child
standing alone on a long dark road
staring blankly at the ground
thoughts creeping through her mind
"is a lost soul bound to return?"

the cold nights and the dark sky was solitude
engulfing the innocence of a child
forgetting the meaning of hope
missing the meaning of joy
the hollowness of her soul was clear
reflected in the empty eyes tainted with fear
staring up the blank sky
searching for the hidden answer to an unknown question.

a lost child
silently standing in the dark
waiting for the unknown
searching for the unknown
the ache of an empty soul darkened by solitude
silently searching for the ray of hope
silently praying for a touch of warmth
a sudden voice from within
"im searching for the moon; the light within the dark."

[. . .]

2010-10-15T21:41:00.001-07:00

somehow i hv a feelin ive lost a part of myself sumwhere
and
i
desperately
need
2
find
wats
missing

fast~ b4 i start 2 fell worse

jz so u noe~

2010-07-31T09:03:00.000-07:00

sumtimes
id jz start at ur name at d chat window
and start thinkin wat shud i say 2 u
despite wantin 2 speak 2 u n hear wats on ur mind
id remain silent
for silence is all i cn think of
when nutin comes 2 mind 4 me 2 say
though i wish reli hard id hv sumtin 2 say
or sumtimes - wishin ud hv sumtin 2 say~

new findings! :D

2010-07-07T11:04:00.000-07:00

new things 4 me 2 do 4 lunch n durin xm...

lunch exp: bread + butter + umeboshi paste = GUD!!!!! reli gud! :DDD 너무 너무 맛있어! 좋아!!!!! let's jz say initially i bought it and i dont know wat 2 do wif it~ exp went well n well, its gonna b gud 2 hv 2 kinda bread 2 eat durin lunch~ one is a bit saltier n sour while d other is more plain n fragrant~ :DDD

xm: eat choc while doin xm 2 keep myself calm *though last time im x a big fan of choc~ nw~~~ XD* by doin so, ill b able 2 make d xm condition less 4mal by eatin~ then ill b calmer n well~ choc itself is gud~~ glucose *xcept tat it also contains excess calories n fat which i dun need =.="*

nvrtheless~ i shal continue studyin nw~ XD

오늘~~

2010-06-28T18:32:00.000-07:00

오늘 선생님 만났어요~ 도서관에 가고 있지만 선생님이 봤고 선생님하고 얘기했어요! 아주 좋아요! ^_^

and it also made me realize hw much i miss studyin Korean >.< mayb i shud start studyin as soon as im done wif my summer classes!!!! 아마 일본말도 배울 거에요! ㅋㅋㅋ depends on hw it goes.. i noe i hv 2 books waitin 2 b read... yay 4 leisure reading!!!

bck 2 study! ;)

i jz realized~~

2010-06-24T11:06:00.000-07:00

i've been readin a book on southeast asia in world hist...

well~~ its for my class~~ so yeah tatz y~~~

i found quite a lot of facts about msia again.. pretty similar 2 wat we learnd bck @ cfil i would say~~~ sultan mansur shah.. mahmud shah~~~ parameswara.. etc... LOL fascinating bt a bit dull i tink~~ though i dun rmmbr evrytin in details d fact tat i noe most of d stuff does make readin it again a bit of a bore bt well... i stil read thru.. or more like glance thru~~ hehehe speed reading!!!

anyway~~~ ive been lookin at d cover of d book.. n i noe d cover looks so familiar bt i cant pinpoint y izit so~~~ asyik tenung je tp cm.. eh~~ familiar bt then i put it off my brain.. as a prove on hw tiny my brain is.. after havin d book 4 almost 1 week nw i jz realized its d pic of buildings in KL!!! XD not d twin tower or KL tower bt i tink its d mahkamah kat kl 2~~~ yg d brown-ish building 2.. LOL i dunno wats d star-like-shape bangunan name bt i noe its in KL XD n ade hibiscus n sign 50km/h LOL sweet, rite! XD

d 1st half of tues~~

2010-05-25T10:02:00.000-07:00

..is horrible~~~

1. woke up in front of my lappy~~ tinkin~~ wat am i doin here?? then rmmbrd i ws spose 2 edit my paper b4 i feel asleep~~~
2. continued editin n shower n left 4 class
3. go 2 lib.. wanted 2 print paper... n then WOW I LEFT MY PURSE AT HOME @.@
4. go 2 class 5 mins late *cz was searchn 4 id* n xplained 2 ta =.="
4. searched 4 book.. missing... jz rmmbrd mayb dump it in wif othr books =.="
5. go 2 lib chckd if book there.. its not~~~
6. went bck 2 get stdnt id... *which meant i ditchd my 930 class.. its d 1st class i ditchd in my life* thn jz rmmbrd d so called lost book was in d other poket of d bag~~ >.<7. frustrated --> ate my food 4 dinner at 1000am
8. soon--> go 2 lib n print --> hand in paper --> go 2 class HUHUHU

break.. again ^^

2010-05-23T12:36:00.000-07:00

yes i know.. i shud study but nevermind~~~

if u care 4 sum1.. u shud let tat person noe...
cz sumtimes s/he mite x noe.. or evn if s/he noes.. s/he mite x b sure~~~
n if u dun let tat person noe~~~
s/he mite get out of ur reach b4 u noe it~~ so..
speak up... ^^
if ur worried bout what if s/he would take it negatively~~
all i cn say is~~its better 2 let noe wat u feel rather than jumpin 2 conclusions~~
its worth it~~ at least ull noe wat s/he feels rather than playin riddles bout it~~ ^^

shoot~~~

2010-05-12T11:34:00.001-07:00

i just realized...
my 2nd paper 4 hist is due
next fri~~~~
and d next week is my sis 201 paper~~~
crap~~
havent started my hist ppr at all >..< huhu

North Korea: Troublemaker?

2010-05-10T21:19:00.000-07:00

As I am an international studies major concentrating on asia esp east asia i chose to write a paper on communism in North Korea and South Korea as my research paper for SIS 201: Making of 21st Century. i definitely do not have any prior knowledge on korea but well.. since korea is in east asia and i am interested in east asia *kor n jap esp* so well.. it is worth startin from scratch. it would def help me in my future classes.. esp since im taking korean civil in fall 10.. i hope ill b able 2 get into d class >.< my research is stil incomplete and it is due in a few weeks time but i am startin 2 it... and well.. since i have 2 long papers 2 write =.=" i guess i shud def start early.. my time division: morning --> reading assign n short essay, night--> research papers.. i mite even start alternating days 2 write both celtic and 21stC...

nvrtheles.. lets begin... i went to a talk last week i tink on north korea. i expected d talk 2 b pretty much proUS bt i was wrong.. i was reli impressed with the argument made by the speaker *though i cant rmmbr his name.. i noe! im so bad!!* and it def gave me more ideas on what 2 write 4 my ppr.. pretty inspiring talk i would say.. short but reli informative.

as much as d media described north korea as a state which is threatening the whole nation due to their nuclear weapon n practice of communism, we shud try 2 look at north korea frm diff perspective. as 4 their nuclear weapon, isnt it possible tat d world is lookin at it 2 defensively and jumpin 2 conclusion 2 hastily? creatin fear in other states on possibility of being attackd by north korea when they havent exactly attacked any other countries *xcept 4 south and i noe.. they hv also been threatening japan =.="* bt 4 othr countries 2 go hard on north is pretty much unnecessary. perhaps north korea itself is jz preparing 4 any possible attack from other nations, jz being defensive but it is misinterpreted by other states as nk being aggressive causing othr nations to buck up on military defenses jz in case they will b attackd by nk bt nk perceived it as an act of aggression, hence: tension due 2 security dilemma. *did it make sense?* as much as nk did not bug othr countries, its hostile rship wif sk shud nvr b slip frm our mind. d invasions, bombings, destruction shud also serve us as a reminder tat nk is capable of attackin othr nations. nk, as of now, oni cntinue 2 b hostile towards those whom they hv bitter historical rship wif: jap n sk... i tink i heard or read sumwhere bout nk wanting 2 launch a nuclear (?) towards d japan borders... i noe~~ silly n def provoked jap bt well~~~ japan's invasion on korea mite hv stil scarred n served as a bitter memory 2 koreans.. ive heard some1 sayin "koreans hate japanese" sumwhere which i dun get initially bt well.. knowin hw hard japan cn b on countries they colonize.. i guess it made sense in a way.. although at tis point, im pretty certain japan itself do not possess any interest of attackin othr nations bt wounds dun heal in a blink of an eye... although its been more than 50 years bt well... d sentiment of hatred mite stil linger with d older gen more than d younger who r more open now~~ i guess~~~ im x tryin 2 justify their acts but.. well.. it made sense in a way~~~

moving on.. kim il sung and kim jong il... they were portrayed thru d media as some scary dictators who are heartless, ruthless, etc.. reading books written by pro capitalism would def spark hatred frm d majority of us towards these communist leaders.. however, in ordr 2 balance these thoughts, y not try reading writings frm those pro communist? well.. not reli pro communist bt perhaps accounts frm those who are acquaintance of these two figures, or books written frm within nk itself.. yes, some mite tink that def these two leaders will b portrayed as d great leader wif all kinds of graciousness, etc.. bt dun u tink it is impossible 4 sum1 2 b totally cold hearted n not fulfill any needs of their people? i started my research wif 5 pro capitalist which made me uneasy.. their language n description of these two leaders was far frm being friendly. hostility frm d lang could b detected as us is constantly portrayed as d savior n nk as d troublemaker... like if they r building diplomatic ties, etc and it went wrong.. its always nk's fault.. highlighting evry single mistake made by nk.. n degrading any triumph obtained by them was their method of portraying nk... if younger generations are 2 b supplied wif oni these writings... it is highly possible tat they wont b able 2 understand nk at all~~~ im x sayin tat us is wrong n nk is rite.. bt... all states n leaders make mistakes evry so often and hence, there is x need 2 focus on each mistakes n make a big fuss of it... u could learn frm d big blunders n prove 2 us how their blunders were worse than ours but x 2 d point of degrading d whole nation itself. tat is a bit 2 much i tink~~~

my paper will b focusin on y communism persist in nk unlike in sk~~~ lol.. those 2 points r pretty much goin 2 b on my paper.. n i mite end up writin a para on y capitalism failed in nk~~~~ in ordr 2 b able 2 solve a prob.. we need 2 undrstnd d c2atn.. lack of understanding will jz worsen d condition.. like.. u tryin 2 heal urself when u dunno which medication 2 take.. u mite end up overdosin urself wif some medication and well... make things worse... no1 shud play doctor in buildin diplomatic ties wif nk.. instead, we shud try 2 hear wat nk has 2 say b4 askin them 2 listen 2 wat we hv 4 them~~~~ dif in admin system n econ model shud x make us enemies bt it shud promote healthy competition between one another. it is x about who is rite and who is wrong.. its more 2 accommodating one another for the benefit of both.. d promotion of free trade and cultural exchange between nations wif various differences would b able 2 lessen d gap between one another and hence, promote peace in d world... its bad enuf dat there r stil parts in d world which r at war.. and 2 make things worse... some r in recession n there is economical crisis ongoing~~~ i mite sound like an idealistic person bt i believe it is always possible 2 settle things peacefully rather than violently... one violence would lead 2 another which then increase hatred and reduce possibility of diplomatic ties and peace. so, d rship between nk n d world.. where is it heading?

almost a success ^^

2010-05-10T21:16:00.000-07:00

so over the weekends i did my 1st gyoza~~~ honestly, experiments are definitely fun when it comes to cooking... my 3 main websites for experiments covers both Japanese and Korean cuisines but well.. i doubt ive managed 2 make it reli authentic esp since i dun 4low d measurements... my fav websites, Just Hungry, Just Bento and definitely Aeri's Kitchen, inspires *FUYOO* me 2 do more experiments.. esp over d weekends as a way for me to wind down from d craziness of assign, school, etc~~~~ so, my gyoza~~~~ it turned out well.. pretty much.. d filling tasted gud.. *4 me at least* XD n well.. d 1st attempt was quite bad as i put d flame 2 high which made d gyoza stick 2 d pan and it was 2 soggy.. so d 2nd time i made amendments 2 my fry-steam-d-gyoza-mission... d 2nd attempt: fried d gyoza 2 short, so d one side wasnt tat brown or crispy.. bt at least d amount of water is right so it wasnt soggy~~~~~ :D so well~~~ wasnt 2 bad~~ n tis time i froze my gyoza individually and kept it in a plastic bag.. OMG it made me feel reli proud of my own gyoza coz it lookd like those sold in stores *well.. d fact that they dun stick 2 one another reli made me hepi* lol.. not tat d taste and look is similar =.=" but nvm! worth d try ^^

Bitter Illusion

2010-05-05T22:45:00.000-07:00

it just so happened i felt like it... it was pretty swift when it happened.. bck form kendo.. 10 mins of lying on the bed thinking and this is what i get... *shud i put a smiley?*

a ship without a sailor
a kite without a string
that is me
lost in the midst of life
searching for an answer
behind the veil of lies.

walking aimlessly
a direction unknown to me
bodies pass by
lost; unknown faces
crowding my eyes.

a single soul; smiling
a ray of light beneath the cloud
warmth creeping within the rain
and i move towards the smile
with spirits hoping to set ablaze.

running towards you
a person i thought i saw
a single blink
the path you were there - empty
the warmth - cold
the light - darkness
the face familiar - foreign
and i stood still; thinking
of an illusion i once had
of a smiling face
and tears rolling
silently singing a melancholic rhythm
echoed through my soul.

when im spose 2 do my essay~~~

2010-05-02T11:31:00.000-07:00

lol.. im spose 2 do my essay but well...
i jz cant stop thinking of... of... of... ^^
wat i shud do i guess...
coz i cant stop thinkin of.. u ^^
if oni i cn jz get 2 say wats on my mind
n let u noe.. how important u r 2 me
bt i hv nvr been able 2 do so
bt i hope ud understand it
i hope u could c it in my eyes
bt i dont know if im 2 ambiguous 2 start wif~~
u hv x idea hw much i care
cz i jz do~~~ n it took me by surprise too ^^

*ok bck 2 essay... break time over*

help?

2010-04-28T08:00:00.001-07:00

ok
i
am
officially
going
crazy...
3rd
time
writin
d
same
hist
ppr
need
break

at 5am~~~

2010-04-26T05:01:00.000-07:00

its close 2 5 am n ive been up 4 almst an hour *GASP!!!* 2 reasons im up~~~ 1> i slept at 10pm.... 2> sahur~~ HEHEHEHE so yeah... u n i shud noe i wouldnt get up super early 4 fun~~~~ n well.. im gettin sleep again though i guess i shud study nw~~~ havent done much past weekend~~~~ n i hv a test 2day =.=" n i havent fnshd my readin due 2day, 2mr n thurs =.=" sad case...

crntly thinkin if i shud take a short nap aftr i pray n thn wake up n study or shud i jz study n mayb take a short afternoon nap aftr class or prhps aftr stretchin~~~ sounds better bt i mite end up dozin off while stretchin *i did tat twice~~ SAD!* mayb i do need more rest~~~ like wat my beloved neighbor told me to~~~ dun push myself 2 hard bt i guess i cant help it~~~ jz pray tat i dun get panda eyes... or migrain... tatz gud enuf~~~ ^^ at least i get all my work done.. i mite end up hibernating over d weekends though i doubt i could do tat.. another paper due on sunday... posted on9~~ so yeah tatz y its sunday.. LOL listenin 2 river flows in u, by yiruma *TNX LAN!!!* cz its so beautiful~~~

i was tinkin bout d things i could n couldnt do~~~ like hw self sustaining am i? hehehe honestly... i tink i could do almost everytin on my own bt at d cost of my health n sleep n body~~ like ill end up hurtin myself pretty badly at d end of d day bt i jz dun like 2 depend on people.. n trust me, it takes ages b4 i start 2 allow myself 2 rely on othrs... if i were 2 ask n seek 4 help it either means im reli desperate or uv achieve a certain amount of trust frm me n also when i ask 4 sumtin frm u or when i dun hesitate 2 say yes whn u offr sumtin 2 me... its pretty much hw much i trust u n well.. wif trust come othr things as well.... ^^ even so, it dpnds.. like ill try my best x 2 get othrs 2 help me out~~~ cz i duwan 2 b a burden i guess... ^^ i noe evry1 hs their own stf 2 do so yeah~~~ bt well... i dun mind helpin othrs if they need me 2~~ cz i guess my probz n burden mite x b as bad as othrs~~~ like at least mine is stil manageable~~ sumtin like tat ^^ bt sumtimes being 2 indpndnt makes me tink like~~~~ well.. nvm~~~ saje mengada XD

i guess im goin 2 pray n take a short nap~~ im feelin sleepy again~~~ nitezzzz *thoughts its morning* :P

as i was studyin. . .

2010-04-21T13:55:00.000-07:00

ok honestly.. i shud b studyin 4 my midterm 2mr.. i was studyin ystrdy n today n nw im like fillin in d blanks 4 d terms which is comin out 2mr... bt well.. tis is sposed 2 b a short break.. jz a short one... like my brain is workin n thinkin on 2 things *at least* at d same time.. which means im x givin complete atntn 2 everytin i do.. like ill b tinkin of sumtin else at d same time bt at least efficiency wise.. its stil at fast rate.. so x tat bad... :D

so well.. ive been tinkin like... wat is a perfect person? HEHEHEHE well.. i noe im totally imperfect bt well.. at d same time i wan u 2 noe tat ur imperfectness is wat actly makes u perfect.. it makes u d perfect u... d u who is no1 else bt u.. n ill nvr change u 4 another u.. sumtin like tat... well.. i wouldnt imply tis 2 evry1 bt 2 d select few.. ^^ rahsia!!! XD unless if u reli hv some personality disorder tis is x applicable or if uve been annoyin me 2 much *whether u noe it or x* i guess u shud b hepi 4 who u r... evn if u hv some weird habits which inhibits u frm achievin certain things.. instead of changin urself totally.. i guess adapting could b quite gud.. n frm learnin 2 accept who u r.. adapt 2 urself.. then push urself 2 move further.. ^^ and well.. sumtimes tatz d best not oni 4 u but 4 those around u n 4 some if u were 2 change.. i would b.. well.. disturbed in a bad way.. like... i would feel disappointed n mad n sad at d same time.. i noe.. crazy me.. bt well... ^^

사랑하니까 고치지마세요~~~

back in seattle!!

2010-04-11T22:14:00.000-07:00

I was so hepi by d time my plane *wow* arrived at seatac... i was smiling like a mad gurl.. well.. honestly.. ive been smilin almost d whole journey..cz.. of.. sumtin... which happened d day b4.. well... well... well... ummm... lets jz leave it as oni me *n whoeve involved though x idea if tat person involved noes or x bt i doubt so* noe y i was feelin light headed.. LOL its a small thing bt well... small things is wat reli matters 2 me i tink ^^ nevertheless....

bck in seattle frm la... so hepi.. la is nice n all *though i dun reli njoy d weather cz it was hot!!!* bt well.. it almost felt like goin home as soon as i started 2 head bck 2 seattle.. i noe im lookin 4ward 2 stuff here so yeah... d flight felt like ages initially bt then sdnly it felt so short.. b4 i noe it.. im bck in my apartment ^^ okok d next thingy.. x bother takin taxi frm airport.. better 2 get a towncar.. $$ saver... 4 real... x worth takin taxi reli.. though d reason i took it was cz i was told 2 go bck by taxi bt well.. i shud hv used my tiny brain n seriously rethink.. =.=" my tiny lil brain is shrinkin..n when i got bck sumtin took me by surprise... bt well.. let it b jz me who noe wat it is ^^ i wouldnt say its a gud one nor izit a bad one *i tink* i mean.. im x upset bout it bt @ d same time i wanna like... well.. lets jz leave d complicated details 2 me.. ^^ n i hv x idea y am i feelin like tis... so well... ^^ perhaps event 1 n 2 r related?? LOL stupid me ^^

gonna try 2 put most stuff behind n now STUDY!! ^^

interesting fact(s)~~~

2010-04-01T15:42:00.000-07:00

ok.. i was in celtic class jz now... and well... i found a new fact!! well.. my prof def din say tis bt i made dis rship b'ween one of d characters in bleach wif wat i jz learnd 2day in class.. u noe.. captain zaraki kenpachi's hair... lolz.. its so straight n hard n all.. n well.. frm wat i learn.. it is actly a culture of d celts 2 "wash" their hair wif lime and leave it 2 harden til apples could poke through the hair if they were placed there *or sumtin like tat: as said by my prof* i couldnt help but laugh in class coz of her statement bt sdnly it hit me.. wat if.. d mangaka colored zaraki kenpachi's characteristics based on the celts? d celts/gauls r always describe as fearless 2 d point of madness =.=" n well.. it pretty much fits him... wat do u tink? brilliant, eh? :D

oh yeah another thing... i ws readin one of my books for sis 201 n well.. guess wat.. nw i tink i noe y mayb those days pemerintah tanah melayu used gold coins instead of paper money n all.. its cz perhaps tatz d eziest way 2 trade since most country used gold 2 trade anyway.... although there were flaws from d gold n free trade thing bt well.. price influx, inflation... lolz bt well... im x sure if these 2 facts which i try 2 link r actly a mere coincidence or true.. bt it makes more sense now *i guess..* there goes my "y r they wastin gold into money 4 trade???" during hist class bck in school.. LOLZ *hepi 2 b enlightened* :D

spring '10

2010-03-29T14:51:00.000-07:00

nutin much 2 say... xcept 4 1 thing.. it is def almost a suicide 2 take up 2 writin courses in d same quart~~~~ GOSH I HAVE HUNDREDS OF PAGES 2 READ BY D END OF EACH WEEK~~~~ and more vocabs 2 memorize as well

>.<

gud luck 2 me~~~~ gud luck 2 me~~~ i jz hope i dun go crazy~~~~ *though i am goin a bit off nw itself =.="* gotta learn 2 manage my time REALLY wisely tis quart.. and my hstam 267 1st draft is due next week >.<

Seven

2010-03-27T23:56:00.000-07:00

yes, i didn't visit sakura today *sobs* but there is a solid reason for me not to do so... a reason which i gues some would noe n some wouldnt ^^ it isn't a beautiful one though.. but nevertheless...

it's been ages since i wrote a haiku.. *not tat im good at it* >.< honestly, sittin undr sakura tree made me tink again n well.. i got lost in thought *despite d reaon i went there was 2 study.. it din hpn tat way =.="* last friday.. it was full and yesterday only few *not reli few* are left on the tree.. such different sight within a week.. bt they r stil a beauty ^^ so, here goes

Of choice this and that,
Bleeding wound or broken heart,
And blood was my choice.

Gentle evening breeze,
Whispers silent lullaby,
And peace befalls me.

Cherry blossom bloom,
Wind of jealousy blowing,
Petals falling down.

Sakura blooming,
Beauty unknown to mankind,
And you are of that.

i'd luv 2 do more but my eyes r sleepy.. and im out of it n i tink those r not tat gud =.=" みんな、おやすみなさい。。。잘 자요~~~ ^^

Spring!!!

2010-03-22T05:48:00.000-07:00

things here in seattle r fine.. well... i would say its gettin pretty sunny 2 d point tat it hurts my eyes for a bit.. bt well... i guess i could take it.. i ws frm an all year long sunny country neways.. HIHIHI MSIA~~~ so i shud b able 2 handle it.. d weather is around 20C here so well.. its pretty refreshing....

i hv seriously lost sense of days n time... now i sleep at 3-4 am n wake up around 10-11 =.=" x a gud thing.. n today.. i mite end up sleepin at 6.. 정말 바보!!! 빨리 자!!! =.=" nevertheless.. i actly hv nutin btr 2 do.. i havent studies yet =.=" n havent been goin 2 ima 4 1 week =.=" need 2 go mayb later today...

sat... went to sit undr sakura tree for almost 4 hours.. it was soo nice tat i couldnt tear my eyes of them.. and well.. d envi was beautiful 2.. kids runnin n jumpin around.. family playing around with each other takin pics... *though there was a fight among d family members for one of d family =.="*. lovers lazing around n talking away, and there were 2 weddings!!! i thought seein 1 newly wed is aredi like WOW but tgk2 ade 2 :D i was like.. wow... it reli is gud weather 2day.. so instead of stickin 2 my plan (study 4 a bit undr sakura) i ended up observin peepz n callin bck home... studies 4 like 30mins.. =.=" not even a quarter of d time spent at d quad =.=" bad2...

n sunday.. xtra practice 4 kendo!! nice... reli enjoyed myself xcept tat my knee was givin off a bit bt then it was fine again.. i felt reli gud after tat.. howeva, d 1 week of x goin 2 gym is seriously affectin me.. i cn feel myself dyin quarter way thru.. I SHUD GO IMA AGAIN~~~ like soon.. esp since taikai is comin in closer n i dun intend 2 die half way thru taikai =.=" n i mean it i duwan 2 die half way thru =.=" huhuhu gotta get my stamina at par again.. haihzzz.... gotta work hard...

haihzz i jz finished watchin full house.. like i dunno hw many eps today.. bt ive done all 16 eps within 2 or 3 days.. LOL nice... :) n then aftr tis i cn study in peace... ^^ today in d evenin.. goin out wif angela 2 lynnwood 2 H Mart.. nvr been there.. LOL bt i hv a list of stuff i need 2 buy.. i gotta list them out b4 i 4get =.="

ok im officially brain dead now.. gotta sleep... sleep.. sleep... zzZZZZZzzzzz ^^

moment of silence

2010-03-17T00:37:00.003-07:00

I noe im dyin at d mo.. bt im stil awake >.< i jz feel like puttin tis 2gether.. its been buggin me n i cant sleep.. bt perhaps tis kinda buggin is quite gud in a way..^^

if space is none
and us is one
silence would b foe
and words would befriend
for words r all i could share
and a piece of my broken heart
shatterin soul, unmended by time.

for yesterday, death awaits
fallin; blinded by pain
for waitin, a painful task
yet there was i, waitin for d unknown
for the furthest is wat i yearned
a lust: a painful want
and yet.. d smile in front
silent and patient
unknown to these blinded eyes.

to be there is what u r
for d thoughtless babble, a soft smile
for d meaningless whine, a warm laugh
and there, like a fool, staring at u
cowering within d comfort i found
and unknown 2 u n me
an imprint on my heart
calm and warm
unknown to self; embracing with ease.

now ur smile is wat i yearn
yet fear creepin within
for time is potion
n time is poison
a lingering presence im tryin 2 grasp
yet fearful of holdin on
words r failin, silence spreadin
wishin eyes could speak
as mine meet urs
and a smile breaks.

1.. 2.. 3?

2010-02-16T22:41:00.004-08:00

aftr bein awake 4 more than 24hrs ovr d weekends n constant pndrg.. tis is wat i came up wif

wat if i say

for each second ur on my mind

it hurts every bit of my soul

for each moment you turned away

it breaks me to pieces

tryin to stop thinkin

bt never able too

a wound; deep and unhealed...

d unspoken pain

and my soul withers

memories of u, walkin away... again, repeatedly

hurting and hoping

a silent prayer: you, plz.. stop. turn and look at me.

1st day of school!!

2010-01-04T16:23:00.002-08:00

2day is d 1st day of school.. woke up 610am.. n it wasnt tat ez 2 wake up unless if i persuade myself 2 do so ^^

2day's class... korean, space n space travel n micro.. started off wif mircro... b lent d textbook frm lib.. ^^ stil waitin 4 d ess book though... :( but i got d books 4 korean.. hv been studyin korean i guess 2day *n watch dcm12 at d lib* :D

2day.. i met a few of my fwenz! YAY!!! i met manni, then xixi, lan *we r classmates tis quart!!!* then my neighbor in d building. kate i tink... *sori i 4got her name* :( n then on d way bck takumi! :) hmmm when i c lan n takumi.. d 1st things which crossed my mind is kendo.. :) n well.. havent been practicing.. so i guess ill b pretty weird on d 1st day of lesson.. hohoho

almost time 2 eat n then shower n then study again! :) a gud start 4 a gud quarter *i hope* :)

again..

2009-12-21T21:07:00.000-08:00

oh yes... fy again.. jz finished watchin it.. again.. i tink its my 4th time or izit 5th.. n i stil laugh at all d parts i laughd b4... n well.. things like tat.. jz love it.. ^^ cant wait 2 watch it again after a few months.. ^^

i just love numbers XD

2009-12-12T01:03:00.002-08:00

end of fall '09:

[f(s)] - 121209.121409:3:72:4320:259200
[f(e)] - 121209.121509:4:96:5760:345600
[w(s)] - 121209.010409:24:576:34560:2073600
[k(s)] - 121209.010609:26:624:37440:2246400

-end-

7th Lesson and 13th Practice

2009-11-15T17:40:00.002-08:00

well.. d 7th lesson is over n another person joind d volunteerin job ^^ chee wei! n well.. he din get any kid yet so he was wif me d whole tutorin time... n well.. guess jarissa was reli shy... lol... i introduced chee wei 2 her n well.. instead of bein her usual self (askin q n all) she jz kept quiet.. n keep on whispering 2 me.. LOL cute^^ n well.. cz i as usual.. wanted sum1 2 suffer *chee wei, x jarissa* so i told chee wei 2 teach jarissa maths bt well.. jarissa was pokin me.. signallin she wants me 2 teach so instead i got chee wei 2 write maths q 4 jarissa... gud enuf.. she got all correct.. i hv x idea whether tat is hw she was taught in school bt then.. she is doin reli well ^^ she is such a bright kid.. n as usual.. i make lee ways 4 her when it comes 2 play.. jz 4 brief moments between learning... at least she wont feel stressed up... ^^

so we did english first.. spellin n all.. n then maths.. ^^ n then she started insistin 2 play games.. LOL as usual.. bt well... we waited til 4.. i managed 2 drag d time til 4 b4 we went down 2 play.. ^^ n we played monopoly :D which is in a way a lesson as well.. on money.. :D *very important, indeed...*

so, tatz tutorin nw bck 2 kendo... wat we did was a few things.. kurikaeshi n hiki men is one of d main stuf.. d reason is 2 train our feet movement n swing.. hiki is d toughest waza n true enuf.. LOL howeva, d biggest prob i hv was my right hand was shakin.. sdnly.. it kept on shakin x reli throughout bt it was shakin n it was reli obvi esp durin hiki... noemy gotta hold my hand 2 get it stop shaking... n i was like.. sorry... n it kept on shakin bt slowly it got better... esp when we did our men n kote hits... it was better bt i cn stil feel it shakin.. n durin d one-breath-several-hits it was shaking too bt not tat bad.. x like hiki, at least.. cz my shinai wasnt shaking... it was so obvi during hiki men cz my shinai was reli shaky.. d top part... cz my left was pretty stable.. hohoho

n thn we hd bubble tea nite ^^ n lan n noelle was there ^^ n well.. i thought ill b in d same class as angela next quart 4 korean bt she is x takin korean :( bt then.. i mite stil b seein lan n eric there.. HEHEHE sounds fun 2! ^^ n durin bubble tea.. i was wif noelle, takumi, lin, tim n umm.. i cant rmmbr their names.. shawn, yes and umm.. another i cant rmmbr.. we talkd bout a few stuff bt thn *OH YEAH! angela was wif us too bt then she was hungry n xhausted so she went bck early* n we talkd bout japan n sumhow... takumi was like.. oo, reli? hehehe lol i was like.. takumi.. tatz ur country u noe.. LOL bt well.. since he was in indonesia at intern school n nw in us, cant blame him 4 not noein wats happenin politically.. beats me wats happenin in msia as well... x tat im into pol but well.. a lil bit of knowledge on it would b gud.. general knowledge... hmm.. i shud start readin newspaper again.. LOL bt im 2 lazy.. mayb over dec holz ill do tat.. HEHEHE

ok.. 2day i was like.. hmm i havent done sumtin n sumhow i feel quite hungry.. n well.. tis silly gal.. thinkin of other stuff.. jz realized tat she havent eaten dinner.. in d morn, i 4got bout bfast.. ended up havin brunch... n well... here goes.. i bought an alarm clock cz i hv x idea where my hp is nw.. =.=" its 4 d sake of 830 class... lol... ok.. continue eatin n studyin ^^ n yeah! im waitin 4 my laundry 2 get done.. *xcited* XD

6th Lesson and 12th Practice

2009-11-07T00:02:00.003-08:00

okokok yesterday was d 6th lesson wif jarissa.. though initially there was another kid wif me.. bt well, they din reli get along tat well.. so it was pretty tough 4 me 2 handle both at d same time.. neverthless, then another tutor came in and took d other young kid wif him.. i wouldnt say tat it is neither kids fault bt mayb it is within me.. bein a tutor n a teacher in a 20 - 40 students per class is pretty diff.. tutor u gotta get 2 d roots of ur stdnt probs.. a teacher gets d general idea n try 2 work on it... in a way tat benefits evry1.. tatz hw i would put it in words i guess... n teachin grade 2 stdnts who r 7 years old is rrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllliiiiii diff frm teaching those who are 13 and 14.. HOHOHO a great degree of maturity diff.. HUHUHU bt nevertheless, i njoy my volunteering job...

alas jarissa is more clear on place value!! n she could add big numbers now!!! im soo glad she has made it :D i thought her my way n hv no idea if tat is hw it is bein taught in class.. i jz hope im x confusing her.. HOHOHO if tat were 2 happen it is pretty bad i tink.... then i gotta ask her 2 choose which method is she most comfortable with and i will comply 2 it ^^ tat sounds better i guess.. :) so she gave me a biscuit and she wanted 2 play.. bt then xixi wasnt free n tis game needs more than 2 peepz so yeah.. perhaps next week thurs ^^

so d practice... my feet was sposed 2 get better n well.. it did 4 a day.. LOL 2day i had a new blister on d healin one n d skin came off.. i jz cut it n well.. as discussed wif lan.. it is gonna turn into a callus... LOL id rather my feet 2 b a lil bit hard rather than makin squaky noises during surizashi and well... gettin 2 much blisters 2 often... this wil def help 2 make my feet tougher.. bt i wonder y others dun reli hv tis big of a blister.. HOHOHO mayb my feet skin is 2 soft XD i am used 2 wearin sometin on my feet at all times.. *takin care of d skin* bt well, it donest work tat way now....

so 2day we did kurikaeshi, shoumen, and i tink put an immense amount of concentration on footwork as well and about d swing... 2 make our wrist more flex and it will help on wif our swinging... well.. d main thing we did 2day was 2 focus on synch feet work n swingin.. i guess i had my footwork n swingin pretty mixed up when both r done at d same time.. esp when moving frm 1 spot 2 another.. if its stagnant its x tat bad.. bt well... if its moving.. tatz when d prob starts.. HOHOHO practice will help me a lot *i reli hope it will* at least it shud make my blisters worth it if i were able 2 improve myself...

gosh.. its late.. time 2 go 2 bed... i pray 4 d best for all those involved in kent taikai ^^

5th Lesson and 11th Practice

2009-11-04T22:55:00.002-08:00

LOL.. 5th lesson was yesterday... yeah... i dunno wat made me not write.. YEAH I NOE.. i was doin my eng essay.. LOL neways.. jarissa gave me a lollipop yesterday... cotton candy flavor.. so kind of her ^^ we did maths mainly n i jz realized she has problems wif place values.. so yeah.. 2mr gonna b a place value marathon thingy.. n finish up d hw as well... a lil bit more left.. so yeah! 2mr is d day 2 get it done ^^

2mr joanne cant make it wif us n next tues xixi cant make it... so yeah.. its gonna b d 2 of us 2mr n next week... gosh.. its x tat bad i guess.. ^^ being alone could b worse.. bt tatz x bad as well ^^ at least ill b dreamin away in d bus.. LOL

so 2day's practice... we did kata in d beginnin n i was wif noelle... we did kata 1, 2 and she taught me 5 though i was lost.. LOL i guess i gotta think of it.. n well.. try 2 get it done next wed ^^ it was marsten-sensei's idea 2 pair d beginners wif d seniors.. so yeah... it was pretty intimidating bt well.. i thought.. x tat im gettin hit 4 real *yet.. tat gotta wait til armor comes in* so yeah.. tat set d mood.. n we did it 4 quite some time... after kata was some surizashi.. *i tink* n well... we did it while d seniors were dressing up *x reli dressing up bt puttin their armor on..lol* n well... after tat we watchd them have a match... it was reli interesting.. i was tryin 2 use my eyes 2 kinda predict when is d hit a point bt din manage 2 do tat.. LOL trainin!! gotta train my tiny *x exactly tiny, perhaps blurry* eyes 2 b more sharp.. as usual in d beginning my hands were as cold as ice. bt tis time it took a longer time 2 warm up.. pretty much bugged me bt i managed 2 catch on angela 2 get her warm pair of hands.. n i drained it out of her :D *bad meee XD* after d match, then we went down 4 our practice... it was reli short *or so i felt* n well.. i was like.. owh its time 2 go? XD nevertheless, i was feelin a lil bit sick n stil a lil bit.. so paracetamol b4 goin 2 bed.. i felt as if im gonna get a fever... bt it was under control n checkd as i kept on checkin my forehead.. mayb its my back n neck which were releasing 2 much heat... it hurt my head a lil.. but well.. x a biggie ^^

2day went bck wif sung.. x exactly bck til home.. bt we walkd 2gether 2 d hub 2 catch d night ride... we talkd bout lots n lots n lots of stuff.. frm edu, family n well.. edu again.. XD n kendo. *yup!! :)* loving it! n yeah a lil bit on malaysian martial arts... d main is silat so i talkd bout silat... x tat i reli hv knowledge about them.. bt well.. at least i hv a lil knowledge on them.. im x exactly a dense person when it comes 2 msia i guess... x knowledgable bt x dense either... x reli d perfect balance bt i noe a bit.. :) oh yeah.. we talkd bout subjects as well... YEAH! d sciences, history.. n hw well.. it was taught in school.. HEHEHE fun stuff.. funny stuff.. reli ^^

gosh.. my head is spinning... as soon as i got bck i was ravenous again.. so yay 2 my kimchi soup... bt tis time its plain kimchi soup without d noodles.. 4 dinner i had noodles wif them... n 2mr its gonna b d same as well ^^ u noe.. i cook like alternate days.. xcept 4 weekends.. when i cook evryday.. bt i guess tis sat lunch ill b gettin it done on fri afternoon... mushroom noodle again! LIKE IT!! :D * d accidental recipe* XD doesnt matter, as long as i could eat it :) mayb one of these days i shud do bubur lambuk *luv it too.. bt i need 2 get some herbs* n soon enuf miso shiru.. n maybe some day... well.. i gotta go around n browse d net 4 interesting recipes... i bookmarkd 1 chinese, 1 korean n 2 japanese *one 4 bento, another 4 d main food* n well.. i shud bookmark 4 malaysian oso XD *haihzz.. tis malaysian... din even rmmbr 2 bookmark her own country's recipe website..* i wonder wat else shud i cook.. i noe szechuan n kimchi soup is gonna b reli helpful over winter.. both r pretty heaty.. LOL bt i wouldnt like eat it over summer i guess... or mayb i would bt less often.. n lesser amount.. my fam knows hw ezly i get nose bleeds... talkin bout blood.. xixi calld me a cold blooded animal cz my fingers r always cold =.=" hehehe well... i guess im goin 2 bed earlier 2day... soo tired... ^^

Recipe 1 done!! :D

2009-11-01T18:10:00.003-08:00

so 2day.. i tried cookin frm d 4 recipes which i compiled a few days bck.. n d 1st is *d 1 i hv been dyin 2 hv* is szechuan soup!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i wouldnt say its a total success bt it is a success 4 a first timer... *cz i tink i put 2 much of black pepper..hmm* bt well.. it was tasty in my opinion!!! hehehe d 1 in johor was better bt well.. i guess i cn survive on tis as well.. ^^

it took me 1 hour 2 get it done cz i was readin n re readin d recipe 2 make sure i got it right.. LOL n i cut all d ing like super slow... lol cz i gotta leave d crab meat n chicken *c, i made amendments 2 d recipe* 4 20 mins.. :D HIHIHIHIHI yeah.. it took me 1 hour.. bt it is sunday so.. i dun reli mind it.. n x assign due 2mr.. so i dun mind spending my time wif cookin... i njoy cookin neways.. esp exp new things *though i hv eaten one of d worst flavoring food in d whole earth a few weeks earlier* bt ill nvr stop tryin new recipes.. :D im so hepi 2day... HIHIHI laundry done n 1st recipe down *n it din taste bad ^^*

ATTENTION TO LIM JIA YIING!!!!!!!! REMEMBER 2019 IM GOIN OVER 2 UR HSE 4 SZECHUAN SOUP.. MAKE SURE UR SOUP LOOKS N TASTE BETTER THAN D PIC ABOVE...

10th Practice

2009-10-31T00:31:00.002-07:00

today was d 10th practice.. n well.. i was runnin *x exactly.. walkin at a faster pace* frm stevens to ima wif my freakin heavy bag due 2 d fact tat all my groceries r in d bag.. i stuffed all of them in n it def slowed me down esp when walkin up d hills n all... yeah, i got some groceries wif my fellow mates n aunt ida...well.. i did buy quite a lot of stuff.. tatz y its reli heavy.. n it came into use right after i got bck frm kendo.. i havent had my dinner, so after kendo i guess i was a bit hungry.. so well.. due to laziness.. i boiled my wanton noodles in boiled water.. while d sauce i jz mixed soy sauce, hot chilli sauve n sesame.. HEHEHE it tasted pretty fine 2 me.. bt it would taste better if i were 2 cook it instead.. XD

by d time i arrived at d ima.. it ws 650.. i dumpd my stuff in d gym n well.. took off 2 d locker room 2 get my prayers done n change my clothes.. i nvr thought of practicin kendo in jeans.. sumhow i dun tink its comfy... neways.. i do hv my tracks.. when else am i gonna use it if x nw??? :D

lol... wat we did.. kata 1 n 2, kurikaeshi n d last one is a new one.. which i 4got wat izit called.. bt i cn tell u it felt so weird n i tink i din get it right at all.. LOL bt im tryin it out... hmm.. perhaps over d weekends it wouldnt hurt 4 me 2 b jumpin in my room ^^ yes.. i noe.. its gonna annoy my neighbour..

as 2 y d post is as early as 0542 its cz i havent slept yet.. im waitin 4 6 4 subuh n then ill sleep til afternoon.. LOL shift of sleepin time.. tis is d 2nd time.. n i could barely open my eys nw.. LOL .. i guess i shud get ready 2 go 2 bed... 17 mins 2 go! ^^ *at least my bio lab is done... oni my eng 1st draft needs more work on it*

4th Lesson

2009-10-29T22:17:00.002-07:00

today is d 4th lesson.. n joanne came if both xixi n i 2 bf day school ^^ so instead of d 2 of us.. n its d 3 of us :D d more d merrier.. yeah.. tatz d concept :D well.. i met up wif xixi after prayers which means i ws slightly later than usual.. n xixi waited patiently 4 me ^^ tnx gal! n then we waited 4 joanne b4 gettin on d bus.. and well, we waited 4 quite some time b4 d bus came.. bt it came... tatz wats important..

oh yeah.. in d morn i hd tis discussion wif my bio group, aunty, luis n james.. bt luis wasnt there cz he 4gotten bout it.. LOL n he was stil at home n x comin over til like 12.. so we did it without him... sumtin like tat... bt well.. it went well... we finished d proposal n most probably will b able 2 hand it in like tis week itself... after sein sara 2mr.. ^^ n after tat i went 2 bartell 2 get my tape.. it took me a while to get 1.. i was thinkin which shud i take.. n almost 4got bout d gauze *bt i rmmbrd b4 i went 2 d cashier.. n also bought my cotton balls :D nw.. i cn use my toner.. HIHIHI after several times of 4gettin... XD

so as usual.. i put all those in my bag.. which was extremely empty at dat mo.. it lookd a lil bit fat when i put those stuff in bt it was reli light.. so i din mind it at all... truthfully, i dun reli like big bags.. bt i hv d tendency 2 stuff evrytin in my bag.. yeah... it doesnt make sense.. i noe.. bt well.. im jz like tat

ok so went 2 bf day school... n met d kids.. :D im wif jarissa again n she dun hv any hw *AGAIN!!* such lucky gal.. i proposed she do my assign 4 me bt she strongly opposed it *LOL x like im reli gonna let tat happen ^^* n when i told joanne tat she is my kid.. another kid heard it n misunderstood.. he said "is tat ur mum?" LOL i was close 2 laughin my heads off.. i was tinkin.. "im oni 19, u noe... n well, x tat ive given my heart 2 ne1.. x tat ive reli found sum1 im gonna gv it 2..x in d mean time" *LOL it sumhw sounds like a great deal of effort 2 get me 2 tink of sum1 bt actly its pretty ez 4 me 2 get attached, its jz tat no1 noes bout it cz im pretty gud at keepin things -esp emo- 2 myself XD* ~~cik fiz: v.v ~~~ XD i tink jarissa went like.. "nooo......" LOL

so we sat 2gthr n one of d tutors jz askd me not 2 sit near them cz i tink jarissa was distractin her tutee.. well, i was walkin around gettin d file n some stuff done while jarissa was tourin d whole cafe.. LOL then once we got 2gether then yeah.. evrytin was undr control ^^ we did some reading, writing n spelling *again* she is don great.. bt well.. a few confusion on d phonetics part.. guess gotta work on tat a lil.. n we played monopoly at d end.. i tink i shud use monopoly as my maths lesson... use it 4 d counting part... bt hmm.. tinkin bout it again.. d money value is 2 large 4 her.. mite tink of sumtin else instead ^^ bt well.. we played 4 like a few min b4 we start 2 pack up.. LOL time flies reli fast..

n thn we walkd bck 2 d bus station.. n took pics on d way bck ^^ joanne was enthusiasitc.. n so is xixi *as usual.. our dear photographer* n well.. i jz tagged along.. hehehe i noe im lazy 2 take pics.. but buttin in is x tat bad XD n well.. we got home.. n i got bck.. stomach empty n all...

gosh i jz realize.. im goin 2 get groceries 2mr after class.. n hv no idea when shud i cook dinner.. LOL mayb i shud go bck during d 1 hour break between bio n hist quiz.. n whip sumtin express up... such as noodle soup.. :D it takes me like 15 mins 2 go bck.. n another 15 mins 2 get bck on campus.. tatz 30 mins.. so i hv another 30 mins 2 cook... hmm... mayb i shud leave home at approx 10.. so tat i dun need 2 rush.. LOL crap.. i dun tink i hv enuf time 2 cook then.. or mayb i shud eat aftr kendo?? *id b half dead durin kendo if tatz d case* or perhaps i shud go bck, cook dinner n then meet up wif them after im done n all... tat sounds better i tink.. bt i stil need 2 rush... lets c, cookin tat takes up around 5-10 mins... or 15.. its x tat long.. bt i guess after class it mite b best if i go bck 4 a bit.. at least in between class i cn relax n study.. yeah.. perhaps dats 4 d best ^^

problem solved... 그래서, 한국말을 공부해요! ^^

9th Practice

2009-10-28T23:40:00.002-07:00

ok.. its nw d last week of oct.. n nov is comin up.. my 1st midterm has ended n d 2nd is comin up pretty soon.. n well.. i practically took d day off frm studyin 2day.. watchd bleach aftr kendo.. n well.. goin 2 bed pretty soon ^^

ive been listenin 2 sad songs pretty much these days.. lol.. it kinda suits me 4 d time bein.. x tat im sad or depressed bt im thinking.. though my emo is stil undr control n chckd ^^ bt well.. it jz feel appropriate 4 me at d time.. n tnx 2 cik fiz.. more sad songs comin in :D beautiful pieces, i would say... ^^ mayb d weather has been gettin into me.. its pretty gloomy, dark n rainy these days.. so mayb tatz it.. bt it doesnt make me feel down or netin like it.. it jz gv me some peace n calmness in me.. d slow rhythm n beat... melancholic bt beautiful... n well.. i mite turn 2 instrumental soon... flute is a beauty.. u cn depict various emotions frm flute.. piano as well... *though u hv nvr achieved tat.. LOL esp since i havent been practicing.. x idea when ill b able 2 play d piano again... :(*

ok.. so wt we did 2day.... we did some kata in d beginni cz 216 is occupied 4 sum i dunno wat is happenin in d room activity.. aerobic mayb.. bt i hv x idea wat izit... i nvr bothered 2 peek into d room.. its pretty much understood tat evry wed go 2 316 n fri we cn go straight 2 216... well..yeah.. all of us started off in 316 n did some kata 4 well.. i hv x idea hw long... we, d beg, learned d 1st n 2nd kata.. d 1st, i tink i hv a grasp of it.. been tinkin bout it 4 a bit.. d 2nd, im stil tryin 2 figure it out.. i rmmbr it, bt pretty vaguely... bt i guess wif a lil bit more thinkin i could rmmbr thm.. i hope ^^

n then we did some warm up n kurikaeshi.. n well.. in d beginnin we were talkin bout blisters.. n noemy jz said tat i hv a humongous one which hasnt yet peeled off *yeah.. mine is d biggest.. LOL* n then right in d middle of prac, i felt my foot bein pretty weird..n yeah! it had peeled of *partially, reli.. so i din leave a piece of me in 216 XD* n well.. it was pretty disturbing cz it disrupts ur footwork pretty much.. x tat im anywhere close 2 being gud at it bt well.. it made things worse.. n then... i askd noemy where 2 get d tape n well.. d ans is bartell!! i guess ill b goin there in d morn 2mr.. b4 meetin up wif my bio group 4 our proposal :)

so yeah.. marsten-sensei reminded about short nails.. n marsten-sensei.. bought cookies ^^ n all of us had a piece of it.. *i tink all of us had 1* n well.. as usual.. i chckd up wif takumi hw is he goin bck.. n xixi joined us as well.. n we hd tim too! initially, we thought of takin d bus.. bt by d time we got out d bus was gone.. LOL ... so on foot we went bck home ^^ it is x tat bad.. it was rainin.. 2 of d gals were wif umbrella while d guys walkd calmly under d rain.. LOL id luv 2 do tat.. bt well.. i dun tink id like 2 go down wif 2nd round of flu.. :(

n then b4 tat.. askd damon bout his 1st job.. n well.. as expected.. he is nvr 2 b trusted.. haihz.. bt well.. guess wat.. at d end he did make sense 2 me.. 2 things which i should keep in mind: 1) nvr trust damon *he admitted tat himself* 2) gettin a job on campus cn pretty much depend on ur luck.. so yeah... its x tat he nvr made sense 2 me b4 tis.. bt well... at least after sayin he cleaned up d toilet *i was pretty skeptical bout tat.. n true enuf he was jk bout it* so yeah.. lolz d thing wif him is he is always calm n serious while sayin those stuff.. hence, ill b doubtin my own judgement... LOL

bck 2 takumi n tim.. after sendin xixi bck... i heard them talkin bout some jap phrases.. n ALAS.. got 2 noe they were mockin bleach.. LOL i njoy bleach wif d action n all.. n well.. it does gv me a gud lay bck time after studyin... i noe.. its always nandatto, nani, bakayarou, kissama.. wat else.. LOL n d talkin part cn b pretty dull at times.. bt well.. i jz continue watchin... HIHIHI its one of d anime which i stil follow loyally XD n i guess tim n takumi din expect me 2 b watchin d latest bleach anime.. *dun i look like sum1 who watches anime regularly??? even when xm is pretty near???* well.. i noe many go crazy when i do tat.. bt it serves as a gud way 2 relax.. n laugh ur heads off... HIHIHI d next ep im waitin is 4 dc.. hehehe n mayb over d winter holz.. i mite drown myself in fushigi yuugi or atashinchi no danshi... i mite watch atashinchi 1st since ive never watchd it b4.. well, i noe hw d story goes n all... bt its gonna b d 1st time watchin it, nevertheles..

so yeah.. im gettin sleepy... i hv 2 read around 4 pages of western civil 2mr.. i mite b goin 2 d lib around 9.. or 10 LOL dependin on wat time i wake up... n wat time i go 2 bartell 2 get my tape... i shud buy a few i tink.. n yeah... facial cotton as well... LOL i guess ill b needin tat 4 my toner... 4got 2 buy it d other day.. bt since my othr prdct is finishin.. so i guess i will b needin d facial cotton 4 my new toner.. HIHIHI ok.. chop2 plan 2 wake up at 7 2mr.. bt d alarm starts at 630.. LOL *c hw lazy n hard it is 4 me 2 wake up in d morn????* XD

3rd Lesson

2009-10-27T22:01:00.003-07:00

today is d 3rd lesson.. n 2day marks d end of my 1st midterm for both hist 111 and eng 198.. yeay!! bt d next midterm is within 2-3 weeks... so its x exactly a big yay yet.. lol.. till finals r end ^^ and then d holz... n d craziness shall begin :D plans 4 d holz.. under construction... im stil tryin 2 finalize wat 2 do exactly.. then d pricing survey and gettin my schedule done would b set up.. hopefully by d end of 2nd week of dec... ^^

ok bck 2 3rd lesson wif jarissa.. we did maths.. cz initially oliver was alone 4 his tutor was x here yet.. gosh, sorry i 4got ur name! :( n then we did his homework 2gether.. d 3 of us.. maths, tatz it... addition n subtraction! *tnx ma 4 d crash course on hw 2 teach kids maths b4 i went 2 teach iqa like a few months bck* it helpd a lot.. at least i hv a rough idea hw 2 get d kids thinkin on maths... i would hv been lost... ^^ n eng as well.. though my teachin readin skills is stil crappy bt i guess at least i hv a rough idea on hw i shud do it... HIHIHI *tq ngimmi :D*

we did maths.. counted d frogs... n then we did a card.. bt b4 tat... reading.. jarisaa is a real truly bright kid... she gets things done reli fast n well.. she does most things reli well.. its normal 2 not b able 2 read a few words n get confused durin calc.. i was in her shoes those days.. so i get it.. though it seemd like a piece of cake 2day bt well.. try 2 rmmbr hw it ws like bck those days.. i noe i luv colorin *til nw actly* bt my art hs always been hrble... LOL x talented, tatz it.. bt i stil luv doin it.. hence, d stickman card production... it is oni produced 4 my fam members *tat is d 5 of us* n well.. 4 d others.. im pretty lazy 2 do it.. cz it takes quite a lot of time n effort in tinkin.. unless if u manage 2 reli steal my heart away.. LOL *sounds 2 dramatic i guess* bt well.. cards which r bought r waaayyy nicer n more artistic than mine.. LOL i could compete wif 5-6 years old i guess.. n tatz where i stand.. HEHEHE

d card was 4 xixi.. jarissa wanted 2 do it 4 her.. lol.. i hv a feelin jarissa cant rmmbr my name ^^ bt tatz ok.. its x like my name is tat common ere *it is SUPER common bck in msia though. u cn gt like a few farah in d same class.. its tat common* well.. it does hv a nice meanin... happiness,,, n i guess i am a pretty happy child *HIHIHI* too.. while my full name would mean happiness, light, eyes.. gosh... look at d combo.. HEHEHE nevertheless.. i luv my name :D wouldnt change it at all.. though nicknames r x tat bad... *i got my 1st frm cik t* XD

we studies 2gether... did some coloring... n well.. sdnly it is time 2 go bck.. n sdnly i felt reli hungry.. thank goodness i hv cookd b4hand.. so i jz need 2 go bck n eat.. though it is cold by tat time.. bt i dun care.. i was hungry n eatin wateva is available sounds gud 2 me.. yeah.. laziness. :D neways.. my idea of restin frm studyin 1 day is x accomplished... i hv my eng assign n its x done even nw.. lol.. readin d oldT isnt tat ez.. it made my head spin n well.. tryin 2 decipher it 2 prepare 4 an essay outline is even worse.. i need time n well.. i hope ill do jz fine! ^^

8th Practice

2009-10-24T00:39:00.002-07:00

today is d 8th practice..n yay! my emotions n mental stability has been undr control.. evrytin was doin great... anti-crisis workd... d kick-bck system frm d depressed me has workd... i luv myself 4 bein able 2 come up wif a kick bck system.. though it also means alludin my own emotions b4 i sort it all out.. bt nvrtheless, i need 2 restore myself 2 my own self *hmm.. weird XD* since mid term is comin tis mon n tues.. LOL.. my attention shud b at its peak tis weekends in ordr 4 me 2 b able 2 cover all my syllabus...

im gettin dizzy at d mo.. like i usually get after drinkin coffee.. my bed is calling.. caffeine makes me sleepy... i noe its weird bt tat is hw it works wif me... i could barely keep my eyes open bt i jz wanna write tis up cz its gonna b like a daily thing 4 me 2 do tis ^^ forces me 2 b disciplined *LOL tat is a crappy reasonin*

so bck 2 d topic... 2day was d 8th practice *i noe.. i cant believe its d 8th...* n well, i hd lots of fun.. n my blister is startin 2 increase in size again.. LOL n my feet work was pretty messed up bt at least i managed 2 control it a bit.. my feet is rarely straight.. it always goes a lil bit 2 d left.. i tink... id better try 2 get things rite.. i guess a break in between studies these weekends by practicing n jumping in my studio would b a gud thing.. LOL pity whoeva is stayin right beneath me.. LOL sori neighbor.. bt i cant help it XD we did some kata in d beginning n then moved to some swinging... tat was pretty fun though i messed up here n there esp d countin part... i always lose count.. hence, mistakes happens... i shud improve on my attention then.. i guess.. i realize i do lack of attntn n take things too ezly at times... hmm.. sounds like a typical me...

next, we hd bubble tea nite *again! yeah!* initially i was tinkin of x goin bt after practice i was pretty much feelin well.. *LOL psych* n so i went after puttin my things.. well.. takumi is like d guy who sends me bck home these days... *tnx a lot takumi!! i owe u a lot!!* :) n then well.. i guess he went 2 change while i go n keep my stuff in my studio... kept it there n went 2 meet takumi again.. n we walkd 2gether n we thought we would b d last=d VIP of d day.. bt we were wrong... LAN ARRIVED L8R!!! *u took our privilige XD* n we played a game of uno.. n i was cursed.. lol.. initially it was damon who took like whole lot of card n then sumhow.. mayb he shifted d curse on me.. cz d next thing i noe was I HAD A WHOLE LOT OF CARDS IN MY DECK!!!!! i was like..wth...im gettin crappier at this.. LOL

since i had flu, so yeah.. i hd coffee.. i noe, coffee is x my thing... bt wel.. lavender coffee neways.. bt i dun taste ne lavender.. it tasted like plain coffee or was it jz my tongue.. those who noes me shud noe hw blunt i am at tasting XD everytin is always fine 2 me.. everythin is always like tat XD wat shud i cook 2mr.. HIHIHI since i have 2 empty containers nw.. mayb i could do some baking.. cool rite!! i miss bakin sooo much!!

next we talkd bout hair.. LOL patty's used 2 b like seriously long n so was lan's.. n mine is like always look short cz of d curls... LOL bt its x tat curly.. so yeah.. its more 2 wavy i guess.. but well.. i luv my hair.. esp when i tie it in ponytails *d double ponies* reminds me of hw it used 2 b like in d kindie ^^ d gud old days when i dun need 2 worry bout a thing.. evrytin is bein settled by others n i jz mess around n fool around *x tat much.. since i stil gotta study* im so grateful i hv my hair bands wif me nw... n ill learn hw 2 braid my hair soon!!!! i am gonna learn hw 2 do it frm noemy.. *is tat hw i spell her name?* oh gosh, im bad at spellin... look at wat i wrote, a bunch of sf LOL *bck in school sf=sig fig n nw ive abused it as short form* many hates it when i do tis.. bt well.. sori guys, get used 2 it, k! ill try 2 reduce it as mch as i cn.. bt.. ill try my best! XD

ok.. i cant take it nemore.. my head is spinnin... n haru no katami is makin my mind drift away........................................................ into dreamland... ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2nd Lesson

2009-10-22T18:22:00.002-07:00

yesterday i slept 11 hours... i noe its damn long.. bt well.. i guess cz ive been exerting myself 2 much.. tatz y... as soon as i got bck frm ima i went 2 bed.. LOL tat was hw bad i felt.. bt well.. at least 2day i felt better.. n i hope it will b better 2mr... bt im still pretty disturbed... bt its gettin under control.. a bit i guess ^^

2day is d 2nd lesson wif jarissa! *yeay! i rmmbr her name* n since there iznt any hw.. so we did a few spellings, writings n numbers.. HIHIHI next tues gonna b maths.. sorry gal, maths is important! :) bein wif her does make me feel better..reminds me of hw i used 2 b when i was a kid.. LOL n well... makes me a lil bit more matured after tat cz my mood swings make me hasty and unpredictable.. which also causes me 2 act immaturely.. like yesterday.. :)

gosh.. gotta go n do my assign.. ive been dreamin all d time tat my assign which is due 2mr is x done yet!!!!!! lol... my bad i guess :)

7th Practice

2009-10-21T22:12:00.002-07:00

this is gonna b super short... by d time practice was over.. i was half dead... i wasnt payin attention 2day. inoe2 shud hv given it a better shot... i was half listening 2 wat sensei was sayin n i tink i was doin pretty much sloppy n half dead work 2day... including my half kiai.. doin stupid mistakes n things like tat. LOL... lets jz say things werent goin d day i want it 2 b 2day... my attention was off... my mind was shuttin down... n well... my body was rejecting wat im doin... pretty much cz it is wrong... haihzzz... i am too exhausted perhaps.. of thinking... LOL esp wif d gym b4 kendo... i was half asleep while eatin dinner.. LOL mayb i shud reschedule my activities or even better, restructure my whole mindset... *wish me luck in doin tat*

its d beginnin of a crisis n i gotta whip up a fast n effective anti-crisis method n get my self straight.. get my priorities right n get me into d mood again.. tis mood swing is killing me.. i hate mood swings.. i hate pms.. LOL bt well.. its comes n goes.. n i hope by d time i got up frm bed 2mr, id feel waayy better than wat 2day... lets jz hope tatz hw its gonna b like.. with a swingy mood, my mind bcomes blunt n i get irritated ezly.. x bcoz of wat others do but bcoz of all d wrong things i end up doin... being frustrated wif ur ownself isnt sumtin u wanna experience tat often... n i guess.. i gotta move myself out of this disturbance soon... reli soon.. ^^

Death Note

2009-10-21T00:03:00.002-07:00

yes, i know.. the title is too creepy for the content.. but that was the first thing which came to mind... *i hate picking titles.. LOL*

If tomorrow be my last
I would soar into the sky
To reach for one; the never mine
The only one: You.

If tomorrow be my last
I would dive into the deep sea
To search for one; the hidden treasure
The only one: Your smile.

If tomorrow be my last
I would be silence
To seek for one; the calming hymn
The only one: Your voice.

If the end is here
And my second is done
I would give you my soul
For I am the peasant
Wanting the one which is never mine
Giving nothing more than I to you
You; every pulse of mine
You; every breath of mine
You; who never is mine.

1st Lesson

2009-10-20T18:38:00.002-07:00

TODAY!!! it is d 1st day of volunteering.. LOL i was pretty hungry b4 i arrived at BF Day in Fremont and i was ravenous by d time i got bck home *it was a blessing i cookd prior 2 leaving....... i would hv dropped dead out of hunger if there wasnt any food in my room when i got home... that was hw hungry i was.. well, 2day in particular, i got hungry pretty ezly.. LOL... *there goes d calories being burnt.. topped up again in matter of hours n days* XD

so yeah... i went wif xixi.. n since she wasnt ready initially *nw she is totally prepared 4 tutoring ^^* so we shared a kid 2gethr *LOL sounds wrong* her name is... omg... i noe it starts wif a j... it was jassica no, tatz x it... its lol.. am i gettin senile at tis age????? nevertheless, i noe d kid im assigned 2 initally is peyton.. bt she was late.. so another unfortunate child was assigned 2 me...

so yeah... xixi is way kinder than i am.. trust me... i started off wif intro n then studies... xixi gives hints.. while i give smiles XD which is, obvi, x helpful 2 d kid... i practically want her 2 start thinking... matchin up phonetics wif alph.. at least, tat was hw my mum showd me hw 2 teach kids readin bck in msia.. LOL n well, i noe my cuzin who is 6, is my guinea pig... she is my victim in me practicing hw 2 read... n well.. it was reli torturous 4 her.. i dun need 2 say a word 2 make her cry.. i would jz look at her n say.. kindly, i thought.. iqa, can u read for kakak? or mayb, adik, read... LOL n then she wil start crying XD *mayb i am pretty scary, lol i am not pretty scary bt i am scary... jz tat not many peepz who noes me 2day noe tat.. ask those frm cfil.. they cn tell u all kinda stuff i did bck in school* ^^ its a wonder y peepz think im kind n nice when i cn tell u im almost d opp... LOL though im tryin hard 2 keep my head cool n relaxd as much as i cn... reshapin d personality isnt ez, bt perhaps its worth d try.... ill b nice as long as ur nice n x go across d border... simple common sense :)

bt wat is d border.. well, its hard 2 tell.. XD so, in a way.. my bad... neways, we were there early. i din expect myself 2 b early at least :) n then 2day we did some hw.. eng hw... n some vocab, spelling n singular-plural stuff... gosh, d kids r soo cuddly.. XD they r so tiny tat i couldnt help but 2 smile... though my cuzins r cute 2 bt well... when i teach them.. im pretty strict.. LOL laughin, jokes, games n all allowed.. bt x jumping around, throwing tantrum.. LOL that, i cant tolerate... HEHEHE

so it din feel like 1.5 hours at all... sdnly it was time.. pretty shockin bt well.. tatz hw it went ^^ fun n all... all 3 of us were havin fun.. we were laughin.. tryin 2 get 2 noe each other.. n we met her grandpa.. greg... yeah.. i rmmbrd d grandpa's name but x my tutee... LOL i mite b gettin a new one btw next week.. i tink xixi might b handling her alone next week... gud luck, xixi!! :) thursday is gonna b d 2nd lesson... n i guess.. i stil dunno wat 2 expect! things went reli well 2day n i hope its gonna b d same 4 this thurs too! ^^

*xixi n i were talkin on d way bck.. n then sdnly i was tinkin on tues n thurs, we will b speakin usin soft voices 2 d kids, but on wed n fri we will b doin our kiai n puttin an immense amount of determination 2 get things right 4 kendo... HIHIHI pretty opp frm each other -voice usage wise- bt i guess tat is where we cn find a balance... bt d same basis could b obtained frm these two commitments: responsibility and d shapin of one's personality 2 b better frm yesterday ^^*

6th Practice

2009-10-16T23:22:00.003-07:00

2day is d 6th practice.. cant believe it... it feels kinda shockin 4 it 2 b d 6th.. bt d pace is pretty fast... well.. some of us bought shinai for our own usage.. and somehow d women shinai was out of stock rite after i paid eric-senpai.. LOL so instead i used takumi-senpai's high school shinai... as what takumi-senpai kindly told me as he walkd me bck home, his shinai in high school is d same wif d women shinai used in uni level... so yeah.. n u bet its waaayyy lighter than bokun *well.. mayb i exaggerated a lil bit bt well.. its stil lighter ^^*

it has been rainin d whole day *it still is* it ws rainin durin class, aftr class, on d wat 2 ima, bck frm ima... it was pretty weird 4 it 2 b rainin d whole day... n well... i guess it was pretty hard 4 damon-senpai 2 get a box of shinai frm his car 2 216.. he was *x 2 d exted of soaked* bt pretty wet by d time he got there... i feel pretty sorry 4 him esp since it was *trust me* heavy... n well.. his voice was *close to* gone.. x tat it was as bad as when i lose mine *gosh, i dun wanna lose mine.. it was pretty mch annoyin when u hv a lot 2 say bt u cant say it cz it hurts n d -x d words- bt voice wont come out... it sounds as if i am whispering.. it wasnt 2 tat extend.. bt well.. he was more silent *esp projection of voice wise* than usual..

n yeah.. today was double activity as well... swimmin n kendo.. n nw i feel so sleepy n hv a feelin i mite get down wif a cold if im x careful... gotta drink warm water.. hot soup ^^ -more dumpling soup comin up!!!- n well.. healthy, less salt, less oil, etc.. haihzz.. sounds a lil bit like hospital food.. bt well.. if its 4 my own good.. i guess its gonna b worth it ^^

so yeah.. 2day i practiced with shinai in d beginning n hit another shinai.. i tink i was practicing with sung-senpai.. if im x mistaken... d prob is i tink 2 much.. n when i concentrate on my foot *cz acc 2 sung-senpai, my left food din move tat much* my swing gets pretty slow and shows hesitation... n if i start 2 stop thinkin tat much.. my left feet does x move tat much.. bt after being reminded.. then it started moving LOL

aftr practice, then we went with sensei to 316 and we used our bokun again.. practice on footwork, men, kote and do... and yeah.. a lot of explanation happened a long d way.. oh yeah.. n then we practiced with a partner with our bokun.. x swinging bt well.. jz feet movement.. while holding komai, we were spose 2 'push' our partner/opponent to d mirror/window.. bt x 2 d point of hitting them *honestly, i was soo worried of hittin d window tat i did a lot of hesitation.. it feels weird movin backwords w/out knowin where im headin.. LOL while most p r of my height, my last p was a guy who is like 1 head (or izit 2?) taller than me.. his bokun was higher than my head that it was pretty hard 4 me 2 c.. LOL *oh yeah... 2day..it was cnfrmd my height is 154cm... LOL .. its been that height since i was 15 i tink.. LOL*

ok.. so d old blister is getting larger *again* i shud consider gettin tape soon.. LOL i keep on 4gettin... n i tink cz i was forcing my left foot 2 move durin warm up.. i got another one at my toe.. i guess that shows that my footin was pretty off... gotta practice more on tat i tink.. i hope i hv time 2 prac at least on my own over d wend bt well.. i havent even done my eng/hist assign (its alredi there.. bt x refined), 2 lab assign, 1 lecture assign, hist reading... LOL it sounds pretty much bt here i am... wastin *pretty much* my time.. i need 2 get at least d eng assign n lab 3 done b4 sun nite.. b4 zombieland ^^ or ill feel guilty about watchin a movie while my assign lay abandoned.. *lol..*

i guess my studio window shud nvr b left open as wide as i am leavin it nw.. mayb d chill is gettin at me.. n well.. i met end up gettin a flu if i brilliantly keep on doin tis... oh yeah... neways.. my body always hurt b4 n after kendo.. bt during.. it doesnt hurt tat much.. yeah, i get tired bt well ^^ guess we gotta b pretty determined when we hv set our own goals ^^ even if its a small one... frm experience, d small things in life is d basis of d bigger achievements which comes in d future.. so dun gv up any of ur goals/dreams *though at times it is unavoidable* bt jz keep on movin, x matter wat d obstacle is.. sure, ull do great in d end... those kinda stuff is wat make one mature and wiser in life.. so, go 4 it.. even if it sounds silly 2 others.. bt it mite b really beneficial 4 urself ^^

5th Practice

2009-10-14T22:11:00.002-07:00

today is pretty much a physical activity marathon... not reli a straight marathon thingy bt i did double activities today.. no 1, def kendo n well.. a few hours right b4 kendo was swimming.. tnx 2 ching n manny... well.. i went.. n practically felt like an idiot cz its been ages since i last swam... slow is one thing... improper breathin technique is another.. LOL guess a lot of practices need 2 b done... and well.. almost got leg cramp before going out of d pool.. bt thnk goodness it was under control... manage 2 stop it b4 it happened! ^^ made a few rounds n well... got ching 2 learn hw 2 float *bt failed misreably* n i felt more miserable after tat.. d depression start as soon as my bag was full of things... *gosh, i need 2 wash my swim suit again...* it is stil in a lump in my bag... LOL i just got bck... n im hungry n sleepy.. n im eatin cereal.. cz i cant sleep wif an empty stomach.. XD

ok so after swimmin for like 1 hour... then manny n ching was like in a hurry 2 meet up yi en cz they r signin up 4 d family plan thingy.. so now.. IM D ONI ONE WOUT A NO! YAY! :) it will come.. one day.. when i get my own XD bt well... i havent reli see a need for that.. so well.. it can wait... though im lookin 4ward 2 get it.. there is a reason y im holdin bck.. n i guess tat reason shall lie within me unless some1 is brilliant enuf 2 list down d reasons 4 me :) n i shall tell ya whether its wrong or right.. :)

ok bck 2 wat i did.. i was in d locker room like for 1.5 hours.. LOL... i ended up fallin asleep in d changin room.. LOL i was waitin for my prayer time n fell asleep by accident... LOL... n then i woke up n continue readng history.. LOL gotta catch up :) ok n then i was lingerin around n around 630 i went up... ok gym 216 was stil occupied... i bumpd into damon-senpai n i cant rmmbr who is d other one... *gosh, short term memory* n well.. even 316 has peepz inside.. so we do need 2 wait outside.. obvi, n start chatterin around.. lets jz say d reason im x as chattery as usual was bcoz i am pretty xhausted n stil sleepy... i guess my voice wasnt as cheery as its spose 2 b n my thoughts were driftin away... like im in a dream land LOL bt yeah.. i was pretty xhausted n couldnt really smile like i wan 2... its gonna b d same tis fri... bt i tink ill b more capable of controllin myself tis fri cz its x d 1st time :) self control is very important.. my mind n soul wasnt particularly wif me tonite.. a part of myself was pretty off... i hv been thinkin of somethin which i myself am x sure wat izit.. i noe sounds crazy.. bt tat is hw it is... i feel crappy by admittin tat...

nevertheless.. my beautiful blister is gettin bigger... LOL it pretty much hurts bt wat i realize is tat if i were 2 4get bout it n put my mind on d movement of both feet n swing... it kinda felt painless.. *c, d power of psych* LOL bt it did work.. so yeah.. bt d point 2 get me concentrate isnt tat ez.. bt x matter wat... im gonna try my best in gettin it done.. so yeah.. we did do, men, kote, sayu men, n i 4got wats d name of d other one... n well.. im tryin my best 2 rmmbr as many vocab as i cn... as much as i cn.. 2 make things ezier 4 me.. n perhaps, tis fri i cn get my shinai frm damon-senpai.. LOL lets jz hope i dun 4get bout d money ^^

we did a new game 2day wif marsten-sensei... lolz.. pushin 4ward (moving) n then sdnly 2 do d attack step... i got my swings all mixed up cz of that... n was pretty disoriented... LOLZ bt well.. guess that will happen.. xpected it.. bt im gonna try my best 2 get over it :) i jz ate 2 bowls of cereal.. cz im pretty ravenous... LOL.. OMG i havent clean up my dinner tupperware.. need 2 get my shower, prayer n then sleep... 2mr wake up early... puasa again.. last day 4 puasa 6 ^^ YAY!

4th Practice

2009-10-10T00:27:00.002-07:00

I noe its late at night now... bt im changing my sleep time just 4 2day... instead of sleeping nw.. ill b sleepin after subuh... i guess my sleepiness has seemed 2 past n im gonna b extremely tired after subuh.. so ill take tat time 2 sleep well.. n nw i shall concentrate on my 1st draft *a lil* n do some primary sources reading... its x crazy, reli, 2 study at wee hours... esp since 2mr is a sat ^^

so yeah.. d 4th practice.. a new sensei came over and he was alone in training both the seniors and d juniors... he practically made us take turns 2 practice our foot work.. n YAY!! A BIG FAT BLISTER HAS APPEARED!! ^^ in a way i am kinda glad its there.. it does make my feet move faster.. LOL oni my right foot is stil kinda nice.. n clean... xcept 4 d fact that d ankle is x reli in favor at d mo...

so what we did was to practice our feet work *i 4got wat it is called but i should be able 2 recognize it once I hear it again.. I noe it starts wif an s* we had fun 2day n lots of laughs.. though i was suppressing them into a smile.. n yeah... my warm up was pretty weird 2day..LOL... facing d wrong directions.. LOL bt yeah... we did a lot of movements n well.. i mite b able 2 practice in my room *owh whoeva is stayin below my apartment, thousand apologies 4 d feet stomping -if u hear them-* im very glad i had a studio apartment... cn practice at my own leisure time without worryin bout knockin humans *bt well.. knockin wall is inevitable*

so well.. after d practice, all *umm.. mostly perhaps* went 2 d bubble tea shop.. gosh... i 4got d name.. yujin mayb.. lol... short term memory... XD xixi is d kendo club known photographer... she was practically snapping away all night long! ^^ and i was listening n talking 2 a lot of peepz as well.. *i guess tatz one of d few things i could do* talkd 2 many bt dun rmmbr many names.. my bad.. sori guys... bt ill work hard 2 memorise as many as possible as soon as possible... so yeah.. yuni *hmm. i tink tis is d right name* was filled wif uw kenshins.. LOL damon senpai was, i tink, reli happy 2 c d increase in no of kenshins tis quarter... well.. i tink evry president would b happy 2 c d increasin size of his/her society... but that doesnt mean we could slack off.. it means we must tink of a way 2 establish ourself in uw... it wouldnt b ez.. bt well.. when we unite, i guess everytin is close to being possible though it mite take time :)bt if we r able 2 hv faith in each n evry one in d society, i believe we could do it ^^

we were talkin all nite long til d shop almost closed... LOL we only started movin out after Damon senpai told us 2 get a move.. bt well.. we din reli head bck tat soon... we were all then gathered in front of d door and started talkin again... n yeah, Damon senpai sent me bck home cz it was past midnite n all... i am SERIOUSLY bad wif roads *n driving* so yeah.. i dun reli noe which are d one way roads.. bt i roughly noe which r they.. bt i cant guarantee tat my info is right... thank goodness he knows d road.. LOLZ *tis is one of d major things which i cant do* n well.. here i am nw... so called on d path 2 gettin my assignments done.. half of it at least.. :) get 2 work ^^

3rd Practice

2009-10-07T22:59:00.003-07:00

Ok.. d 3rd renshu juz passed today... :) it was more tiring than b4 n sumhow 'miraculously' my right ankle was aching on d way 2 d ima.. howeva, i braced myself *lol* n stil continued d lesson... my right ankle is feelin a lil bit worse nw bt well.. i hope its gonna b fine wif some ointments n things like tat.. tis always happen i tink.. it happened several times ^^

so what happened 2day.. more feet movement.. another thing.. LOL my alertness level is pretty bad i guess.... or mayb its cz i focus on other things n kinda 4get bout certain other things.. like my feet positions, my komai n things like that... d bokun position as well.. gotta buck up on tat side.... n i will try my best 2 pay more attention 2 evry single details in kendo as much as i cn.. n i will try my best 2 improve during evry single lesson *ill gv it my best shot ^^* thought improvement mite not come within split second, i hope at least it would do me some gud at least at d end of tis quarter ^^

more peepz r comin into kendo 2day... n most probably 2day is gonna b d last day of new intakes... tatz wat Marsten-sensei said.. mayb :) well... had a looonnnggg practice day 2day.. it felt longer 2day 4 certain reasons.. hmm... n b4 goin bck.. talkd a bit 2 Damon-senpai.. din go 4 iaido.. followed a new group of fwenz bck home ^^ it is RELI nice of them to walk me bck home.. reli reli nice ^^

n tis fri after practice, there will b a bubble tea nite... ^^ did i mention my mum was dead worried bout me x gettin bck though it was l8..after xplainin she was fine wif it ^^ tis fri gonna b l8 as well, i guess ^^ thank goodness 2mr class dun start at 830.. so i cn sleep again after sahur n subuh... get a lil bit more rest than usual i guess... n yeah.. relax my right feet which is x workin tat well.. my left is as expected..aching n blistering.. *x shocking* bt well.. d prob is nw my righty.. we'll c hw things goes... praying it will b fine :)

D Shoreline Trip

2009-10-03T19:38:00.002-07:00

LOL. yeah..i went 2 shoreline 2day... 2 d central market, 2 b more specific.. *lolz.. thinkin back.. i shud hv gone 2 uwajimaya first cz its nearer...* bt well.. that is where i went 2day.. n it was a LOOONNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG but meaningful trip.. 4 various reason...

i woke up super late 2day cz sumhow after subuh i felt pretty exhausted stil... *bt my legs r no more hurting YAY!* n i took d 216 bus on 31 to aurora ave *i tink* n sumhow i missed my transit bus which is bus 5... not long b4 i arrive at d bus station, d bus passed by me *LOLZ* so, i gotta wait 4 d next bus.... sumhow.. d next 5 was not headin 2 shoreline.. bt its goin 2 northgate transit.. so there i was tinkin.. mayb i shud jz go bck cz its alredi 3 plus... wel... bt i thought tat would b a waste of time n since i rmmbrd at metro website that i cn go 2 shoreline frm northgate transit, so yeah.. i made up my mind 2 continue my journey despite not knowing which bus 2 go on.. *4 real*

arrived at d transit n well.. searched 4 a map n chckd which one heads 2 shoreline... there i met a Halmoni.. who helped me throughout d journey.. d bus driver almost got me goin d wrong direction when d halmoni told her 2 call me again 2 head d other side 2 go on 358... during d whole journey on 345 d halmoni told me of her story.. her 5 siblings din want her nemore.. all of them r in south korea... n its due 2 d fact that none of them have been in touch wif each other.. hence, lost contact... well, one of her son is here in seattle... while d other has passed away 7 years ago at the young age of 20.. yeah, i hv problems understanding what she is saying at times.. but well, d message did come across.. as she was talkin bout her deceased son, i tink there were tears in her eyes... n she admitted she stil misses him... that is what we call as mother's love.. never ending :) n neways, she is 66.. she now stays in an old folks home sumwhere at aurora...

after gettin on 358 im stil at a lost on where d market is.. so i askd d kind driver 2 tell me when 2 stop.. all smiles he said he would inform me when i shud get down... n its as if it was fated that i met another lady who helped me 2 get 2 d market... as d driver waved at me 2 get off d bus d lady offered me to go wif her 2 d market... she is joan, btw.. :) a nice lady.. reli nice.. like d halmoni :) if i were alone.. i am pretty sure ill b walkin around aimlessly searchin 4 d market.. LOLZ cz its not exactly opposite d bus stop.. bt well.. since we went 2gether.. i managed 2 get 2 it... n she told me bout another asian market by d name of H&T i tink.. bt i did write it down in my book.. n i took joan's email.. *gud 4 me* n she told me that it was brave of me 2 b travellin far on my own *LOL.. its kinda fun i tink* bt she did tell me that if i wanna noe hw 2 go newhere, i can just buzz her.. *she is soo kind!* n then, we set of our own ways in d market...

d market is RELI big!!! d biggest i have enterd yet ere :) n i bought some fishes, prawn, squid, seafood n vege dumplings, wonton mee n yakisoba :) gosh, i dunno wat im gonna do wif all those bt well.. it would serve me well for d whole month i guess... i hope it would last tat long... n i noe it would if i stop myself frm eating loadz of food over d weekends n yeah! i bought my 1st snack!! baby fishies biscuit!! i ate them b4 in msia.. n i found them again!! i was SOO xcited when i saw tat on d shelves.. LOL... i was smiling all d way... n i tink i bough spinach pizza as well.. i hope it tastes as good as hw it was back in swiss :)

on d way back.. took 358, 345 *ouch, nw im x sure whether it was 345 or 354* n then 66 bck home... n as soon as i got bck.. whipped up some dinner n well.. here i am! on9!! :) more work 2 do 2nite... better get movin! :)

2nd Practice

2009-10-02T22:13:00.003-07:00

Today (Fri) is the 2nd practice or shall I say, lesson, with Elizabeth Sensei and Damon Senpai... it is realy tiring cz well... d ache frm wed havent healed yet n here i am puttin more pressure on my muscles.. bt since we were allowed 2 do it at our own pace... it doenst hurt tat much ^^ reli nice of them 2 allow us 2 do so ^^

D other day we learnt Komai *i tink thatz hw its spelled* and d basic feet movement of d feet for kendo... and also a lil bit of sword swinging and incorporate it with basic feet movement.. as 4 today.. it was d attack feet movement and at d end of d day *b4 we go down n c senpai-tachi having their renshu Damon-senpai thought us 2 incorporate the swinging wif d attack feet movement. pretty tough while thinkin bout ur feet moving faster and gettin d swing stable n all.. well, i guess i did it pretty slowly.. LOL i reli reli reli hope things will get better as d weeks pass by :)

What Damon-senpai said 2day was pretty cool... kendo is x bout using ur energy but about controlling ur sword... i guess its kinda true cz if u put 2 much force in it..u mite end up hurting urself rather than ur opponent n there is a high chance that he/she mite take advantage of tat situation... well, bottom line is, always b in control of everytin u do :) n well, another fact which Damon-senpai told me was.. usually around 75% drops Kendo... LOL i hope i would be one of d 25% though in msia 2 practice kendo would b kinda hard cz its not popular as others like taekwondo or karate.. hence, kendo dojo is almost never in sight.. *sighs* but nvm.. ill try 2 search one i guess n get myself work out there even after graduating ^^

1st Practice

2009-09-30T22:28:00.003-07:00

As soon as I entered, i was almost like.. am i reli gonna do tis? LOL and yeah.. i survived d 1st nite.. d 1st class... my body is hurting but i guess its all part n parcel of d practice... im very certain as soon as im used 2 it.. d pain would go away :D *though i might suffer walking around campus 2mr wif an aching left leg... LOL* but i tink its gonna b worth it :D

im d oni malaysian there *im pretty certain tatz d case* but well, i din feel a bit left out :) i guess all of us are treated equally n i am pretty eager n look 4ward 2 d next class!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wat we did today was something 2 do wif d footing n movement.. *crap.. i 4got wat its called..* bt i rmmbr komai :D its a gud thing at least i rmmbr one name... but at least i do rmmbr d steps which was taught despite not rmmbrng d names.. LOL nevertheless! ill try my best i guess and if my best is x enuf than ill try harder till my limits *not 2 d point of getting myself injured badly or netin bt 2 put in more effort than ive ever put into anythin* ^^

YAY for new activities and experiences :D

my autobiography???

2009-08-29T08:52:00.002-07:00

Once you've been tagged, Fill this out IN YOUR OWN WORDS and re-post as, "My Autobiography" ... And use your own answers, not anyone else 's.

1. Where did you take your profile pic?
~ d one in d blog is in mcd d one in fb is at skyn/s hse! :D
2. What exactly are you wearing right now?
~ t-shirt n track
3. What is your current problem?
~ ate 2 much???
4. What makes you happy most?
~ fwen n fam time, watch anime!! :D
5. What's the name of the song that you're listening to?
~ Love in d ice, dbsk
6. Any celeb you would marry?
~ LOL... none crossed my mind..
7. Name someone/persons with the same birthday as you:
~ dunno wor.. bt i noe one jr have d same as mine..but 4got who.. huhu
8. Ever sang in front of a large audience?
~ oh yeah..... when i was 7.. :P
9. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
~ nah... im too unique *in a gud way* 2 b like any of them.. :P too cute 2 b a celeb :D
10. Do you still watch kiddy movies or kiddie TV shows?
~ YEAH!!!
11. Do you speak any other languages than English?
~ Malay (obvi), korean n jap *ere n there*
12. Has anyone you've been really close passed away? Yes
~ yes
13. Do you ever watch MTV?
~ yeah.. sometimes...
14. What's something that really annoys you?
~ procrastination, ignorance *though i do tat at times 2..*

Chapter 1
1. Middle name: NA
2. Nickname(s): Fafa??
3. Current location: study room..
4. Eye color: Brown

Chapter 2
1. Do you get along with your parent(s): YUP!! :)
2.Are your parents married/separated/divorced?: Married la weyh.. :)

Chapter 3: Favorites
1. Ice Cream: go vanilla!! its my fav!! oh yeah.. d sours ones too :D
2. Season: winter n spring :) autumn too.. :) bt my fav is winter..
3. Shampoo/conditioner: currently usin loreal
4. Favorite Thing: lappy, mp3, ipod

Chapter 4: Do You..
1. Dance in the shower? : nah....
2. Do you write on your hand? hehehe..its a habit :D
3. Call people back? : if necessary...
4. Believe in God? yes! :)
5. Any bad habits? lol..temper... *almost evry noes rite??*
6. Any mental health issues? cn b reli gila at times :D

Chapter 5: Have You..
1. Sprained stuff? ankle :D
2. Had physical therapy? nope...
3. Gotten stitches? hmm..yeah... eh.. no it wasnt stitched.. almost got it though
4. Taken painkillers? oh yeaaahhhh
5. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling? nope...
6. Thrown up at the dentist? nope...
7. Sworn in front of your parents? oh no.... eh.. mayb yeah.. d minor ones.. in a jk manner, btw
8. Had detention? NEVA! :D

Chapter 6: Who/What was the last
1. Three people who texted? sonsengnim
2. Person you called? lol.. cant rmmbr... i tink d money changer.. LOL
3. Person you hugged? ngimmi
4. Person you tackled? none..
5. Person you talked to on MSN? khairil...
6. Thing you touched? keyboard
7. Thing you ate? oxtail soup :D
8. Thing you drank? tea
9. Thing you said? detective conan!! YEA!!!!!
10. Friend you saw ytd (12am-12am)? aiyoo.. i was at home d whole time...

NOW TAG 20 PEOPLE! AND GET THEM TO DO THE SAME! :) =lol..lazy=

4 d 1 week of not bein at home... LOL

2009-07-25T08:02:00.002-07:00

heeee so d whole of last week i was at kampung in mamabau at n9.. its my mum's side btw.. i stayed at my aunt n uncle's hse which are practicaly steps away frm my grams hse... :) *nevertheless, there r days i din visit grams.. ~evil cucu~*

ok so d main stuff which i did was torture my cuzins *study laaaa...* n then cook n wed onwards bcome a part time babysitter LOL not forgettin my 2nd round of fushigi yuugi which i watched frm d dvd which i bough last month *i tink* LOL i noe i luv dat anime.. n intending 2 buy d other ovas'.. d 2nd n 3rd i tink :) xcited 2 get them if i hv d time.. if x d 1 i hv now is gud enuf i tink... n due 2 tat anime.. im listening 2 loadz of luv songs.. lol... i jz realized hw i fancy luv songs... both slow n fast... :) *well, d fast isnt exactly metal like* :) its jz soothing.. i tink :)

durin d course of bein a mini babysitter.. i got d xperience of bein a housewife lol... reli, no joke.. its damn tiring.. u c.. u gotta hurry 2 get d meal done 4 my cuzins who jz got bck frm school n my uncle frm work, while at d same time make sure tat young kid doesnt stray away frm home. make sure he is clean, got enuf rest, got his milk, feed him, put him 2 bed.. attend 2 him when he starts cryin 4 reasons which i seriously hv no idea wat izit about... n then nk dukung lg.. nk pangku lg.. nk pet spi tido lg... lol.. d putin him 2 bed part is such a torture... evrytime i try 2 put him 2 bed in d evening i ended up fallin asleep as well... *c, its tiring u noe takin care of small kids n doin d housework.. ini pun x full blast lg*

i oso did my medical check up at columbia asia hospital.. well, d nurses r reli kind bt i wouldnt say d mo r kinda, well.. not reli warm.. lets jz say i wasnt reli at ease wif d doctor... i guess it is tiring 2 b smiling all d time.. bt well, a smile, jz a simple one would brighten up d envi despite d sumwat melacholic envi of d hospital.. :) no joke, reli :)bt well, it wasnt a bad xperience... overall it was fine :)

nw july is sayin gudbye n august peekin in.. it means my time ere is gettin shorter.. gosh, i pray 4 myself 2 b prepared physically, emotionally n mentally.. :) hope things goes fine n tat all of us would have a taste of success in our future :D

Untitled 2

2009-06-28T06:03:00.003-07:00

Life is a mysterious journey; path unknown and ending unexpected.
The ending of one episode of our life indicated the beginning of another.
Though the beginning might be sober, the path might be just the opposite.
As us, humans, dream of big things: Successful career, luxurious life, high salary
We forget the true meaning of life.
We forget what a smile would do to us.
How it could move the cloudy days away, with only a sincere smile from our loved ones.
As we try to catch the stars, we leave imprints on the soil.
For every step we take, we leave a memory behind.
Each step, a new journey.
Each step, a new environment.
Each step, a new realization.
Which in turn, brings in experience and humility.
And at the end, makes us a person seen by others as who we are today: for better or worse.
An imprint and a memory, not only to the soil, or solely to our self souls but also to those around us.
Be it hated or loved, liked or dislike, we made an impression.
An impression which could last a life time.
Even as the years would have clouded our old memory of childhood, if we were to have a true memory, a true companion in life, the best thing which we would remember,
The things which we would miss most...
Is no other than their smile, which brought kindness and warmth to the frozen and wounded soul of ours.

btn 11-15 mei telah berakhir...

2009-05-15T07:30:00.002-07:00

ok so today is 15th which marks d last day of btn and currently all of us hv gone bck n preparing ourselves for d xtra sleep due to d lack of sleep n rest frm btn... *hw long did we sleep? around 5 hours? lackin 3 hours of sleep.. XD* sakit2 badan btl la.. bknnye psl btn rasenye.. mmg sblm btn pun dh sakit2.. hehehe pas2.. wak2 kat btn rupenye sy sudah mendapat rashes yg menyebabkan kegatalan kulit.. aiyo.. kot esk msh byk lg mende ni kene amik injection la plak b4 it spreads... tp cm ala2 dh spread je.. XD

hmm.. wak2 kat btn.. mmg x bw hp ke mane2. ade terperuk dlm blik dlm beg sandang yg dipasang padlock.. hahaha 2 yg mls nk bw.. cz kene unlock n all.. cm leceh.. so, bw hp kuar btl2 wak2 nk tido je cz pasang alarm *2 pun x gune gakz cz ari khamis ngan jumaat mmg x tepat wak2 bangun.. ade kot bgn 30min lmbt dr time yg diset.. hahaha* kesimpulannya x byk gambar n mgkn nk dptkan gambar2 dr sape2 yg ade gambar.. hehehe pencuri gambar yg sah.. XD

1st impression bile berkumpul kat dewan wak2 first2 spi.. x de la garang sgt fasci2 nih.. n mmg terbukti pun.. doran tegas tp baik ati.. :) x de pun bebel2 sgt kat kitorang spnjg dok 5 hari.. ceramah mmg la ngantok spt biase... tp tahan jeee.. nnt kat uni ntah camne la plak nk tahan berjam2 dlm kuliah.. hahaha perjuangan di medan kuliah... agak2 ramai gak ah yg syahid kot.. x tgk lg wak2 tazkirah. esp tazkirah subuh.. :) ramai yg kecundang.. hehehe

wak2 kat btn mmg evryday la mencuci.. 2 kali sehari.. 2 yg penuh je ampaian kat depan D2... sebahagiannye tlh dipenuhi olh kain2 budak yg mencuci dua kali sehari.. dh ah byk yg dicuci.. cik nu pun x mencuci sebanyakku.. HAHAHAHa *bangga* terserlah hobi mencuci kain spt kat kyuem dl.. XD kemas katil x sampai 1 min.. cz x gne blanky so betulkan posisi bantal cz tido sonsang.. hehehe btw, msk dlm group 3.. yg mempunyai 13 members: me, icha, paan, shainol, hilman, yote, azirah, zul, tai, foo, adzrin, am, yung. fasci2 adlh en izzuddin n en asyraf.. heeee best ah group 3.. dpt performance task kene nyanyi lg malaysia baru.. kot prnh dgr x pe gakz.. nsb zul tau pe lg 2.. kot x, habis ah kitorang sume huhuhu :) *tnx zul!*

LDK mmg best.. esp since icha is always active.. my rate of activeness depends on wat is happening.. bile rase cm nk senyap.. senyap je la.. bile rase stimulated utk ckp.. ckp laa.. hahaha btl2 depends on d environment n mood.. hahaha *burok tol perangai* n thn activity phy.. evryday de kawad in d morn n eve.. bt its kinda basic.. *bt byk gyle dh lupe dr ppim dl.. x layak nk train budak dh.. hahaha* pas 2 lutut skt gyle.. nk kawat btl2 pun x mampu cz kaki nk angkat around 45* mmg sakit gak ah.. bley je nk angkat tinggi2 bt kene tahan sakit ckit la...

n then ade kembara.. fusy.. cun gyle kembara.. msk hutan n asyik kene calar ngan paku pakis yg mencucuk je... luka gak ah jari bt ok je.. :) ckit je luke dia so x heran pun.. pas 2 nk pnjt2 akar pokok bakau... kot senang nk panjat x pe gakz... dh la licin.. tinggi lak 2.. nsb x terjelepok... XD pas 2 dh la initially jln laju sgt so terpisah dr d others... nsb ade zul, julianan ngan shainol... half way through.. jpa kaber ngan shamel plak.. *tnx gak kat dorang cz suro we all watchout about lubang kat depan tpt paya kecik 2* ko x confirm ah.. ade je yg tersangkut kat lubang.. n then jalan la blik ke kem... talkin bout kem.. d kem is clean n looks new... npk bersih n kemas.. tatz wat matters most.. so mmg puas ati la :)

n thn ade abseiling.. this is d most feared i guess initially.. hehehe mcm2 style ade yg bley ditonton wak2 org abseiling.. they started wif d guys so tgk gaye guys dl la.... n then bile gurls turn guys pttnye g main football tp ade je yg hang out kat c2 lg.. hihihihi so wat i thought was.. bile lg nk wt.. so wat je la.. since rahmah n i naik agak d same time so dpt la tgk drama rahmah nk wat abseiling... hahaha sungguh comel :)when it was my turn.. d fear was within me... n then cm turun secara separa sedar.. i dunno hw i control d rope or anytin like it.. wat i noe was i told myself things will b fine n tat i admitted fear 2 myself *hehehe* n then turun je la.. dlm otak mmg dh ingat pun ape mende kene wat utk turun ngan laju n slamat.. tp x sangka la bley wat btl2 XD mmg bersyukur sgt2 dpt wat btl2... kan rahmah! :)

n thn suddenly its time 2 go bck *despite b4 tat mmg la trase gak nk tido* mkn together 4 d last time.. jd tukang pegang pintu 4 d last time... hmmm its hard 2 part frm those ive known in btn but its harder to accept d fact tat i mite not meet d other adpians after tis *i will b goin 2 taylors though* bt its d fact tat v r no longer housemates, roommates *cik sya*, mangsa buli *cik tiup ah ni ngan cik nu*, etc pape pun.. tnx guys 4 evrytin..

despite d first impression of btn which is not totally positive, bt i tink ive gained a gud inside of wat btn is all about... i guess after i go 2 bed, rest n reorganize my thoughts.. id be able 2 put them in words better :)

-untitled-

2009-05-04T08:28:00.002-07:00

i juz finished watching sumtin...
hmm..........
it made me think.........
think of things which hv long been at d bck of my mind...........
n im serious bout it.. *despite me being awfully cheerful, esp at d wrong time* XD

wat would life b without an aim n love?
wat would life b wihout family, companions n friendships?
would hatred n anger sustain till d end of our life?
izit tat hard 2 forgive? or izit harder 2 rmmbr d bad things in life?
even wif an aim.. r we gonna b able 2 fulfill it?

d life we r leading nw.. it could end in juz a blink of an eye...
n yet.. we neglect it.. n yet... we r not thankful 4 each second we go thru...
we ignore d small details in life.. bt iznt d small ones which make up d big things?

even sayin so, i noe im stil ignorant..
i 4get things around me.. hw precious it is.... til it gets out of sight..
like wat my dear kee hee once askd me..
y do we appreciate wat we hv only when it is gone..
n i guess i hv no perfect xplanation 4 tis..
even as i ponder bout tis matter... day by day...
i jz cant find an ans 2 d q..

whre do i stand at d mo?
i guess im stil searchin 4 d rite path...
wat im feeling nw...
d same as b4... mayb im empty inside...
mayb i.. am jz tinkin 2 much at d mo..
i cn b analytical when i wan 2
mayb im jz numb towards wat i truly feel..
i guess... after goin thru certain things...
u mite jz not b able 2 recognize ur true emotions nemore...
wat r my true wants n needs?
*thinking* -hehehe- i do noe some though..
n i shall keep it inside of me :) *ne1 wanna guess???*

u wont noe who i truly am
cz u noe oni who i wan u 2 noe... oni d part which i wan u 2 c...
any objections?

not 2 say i hv been dishonest all this time...
bt well... sumtimes i would question myself on wat i truly feel n tink..
am i leading d right path or am i jz convincing myself im at d right way...
bt no matter wat... i will go thru all n come bck in one piece.. :)
a better person than yesterday is wat i aim 4...
mayb i shud get 2 noe who i truly am b4 i cn ans this tiny q: who am i.. (mrs singh's fav q..) XD
n mayb when i am able 2 ans it precisely w'out hesitation..
tat is when i am wholly myself..

bt 1 thing i wan evry1 2 noe..
no matter wat were 2 happen... ill always b here 4 u guys... n girls XD
despite i cn b scary at times.. *esp in school.. isy3*
despite my seriousness yesterday cz i wanna b 1...
despite my playfulness 2day cz i wanna b 1...
if u need a shoulder 2 lean on... mine is always here *hehehe*
mayb i cn oni complete d quest after givin a piece of me 2 evry1..
who noes u mite c a clearer me...
n then i could complete d pic of me.. :)

me n.....

2009-05-03T05:14:00.003-07:00

i tink approx 1 week b4 finals begin.. tibe2 sy angau... angau sgt2... semacam mengidam.. hmmm.... not a gud thing kan b4 d finals... but x pe... cik tiup menjadi mangsa utk mendengar sy membebel.... :) *tq cik tiup*

ngidam n angau bknnye ape... bknnye org yg sy mskdkn d cni.. tibe2 je trase ingin sgt nk g pasar beli ikan... :P n ade specific pasar plak 2... if its pasar yg sumwhere around here x pe gakz... mslhnye nk kene g pahang 2 nk beli ikan.. hahahaha *brape are dh pujuk my mum g pahang beli ikan.. i noe its ridiculous* its d pasar sumwhere near kuantan... x ingat wats d name of d place.. though its small, pasar ni mmg cool la utk beli ikan... d fishies r fresh n d price is cheap *btl... compared 2 cni.. isy3* mmg njoy tgk ikan kat c2.. cz dia kilat.. hehehe n looks nice.. n bile msk mmg sedap.. n dia keras2 lg *bkn keras freezer 2* n perut dia x lembik.. so best pilih.. :)

ok la.. pape pun... pasar kat subang nih mmg x prnh g sempena beli ikan.. d pasar behind 3K... cz d price cm mahal gak ah... n then x de la fresh mana.. kdg2 ikan kat mydin lg elok.. bt nw i cn assure u tat d fishies in both giant n mydin ssh btl nk dpt yg fresh.. slalu picit skit dh terkelur isi perut dia... insang x yah ckp ah.. warna brown... pas 2 cm lembik je d fishies.. nk beli pun x selera.. bt nk wat camne.. tatz wat we usually get here.. sob3

n then ari ni pas g wedding dekat2 masjid tanah in melaka n then my uncle ajak g pasar kat pengkalan ape ntah dkt melaka *i 4got..... suddenly! td in d car ingat jee..* n then dgn penuh semangatnye turun la g tgk pasar 2.. dgn harapan tinggi gunung cz dia pun tpt nelayan naikkan ikan.. *same like in pahang* n then.. tgk... not bad la d fishies.. kilat gak ah... bt sumhow cm x tertarik sgt dgn d fishies... huhu n then d price.. fuyooo.. gyle ah cekik darah.. at supermarket dpt kepala ikan around 7.90 kat sane 25.. gyle ah! mmg la if its cz its fresh it cn b higher bt x de la spi nk dkt dua kali ganda kot... huhu n another thing is tat even d fishmongers r not tat friendly.. ade ke suro pilih ikan cpt2 nnt nk potong.. kot ckp ngan senyuman x pe gak.. ni cm nk marah n mkn org je pndg... pas2 i tink i gv her a questioning n muka x puas ati ah care dia ckp.. trus dia senyum2 ckp lembut2 blik... adoisy ai.. bley pun ckp lemah lembut.. akn ttp... nasi sdh menjadi bubur :P

so tadi kat pasar 2 end up beli lala je... n thn g hospital putrajaya... :) c my new baby nephew!!! name = undecided yet... he is sooo cute n adoorable... so small.. my palm is as big as his face.. MUAHAHAHAHAHA bt he is soo tiny n since he is born 6 weeks earlier, so i can oni c him frm behind d glass.. bt comel n adorable sgt.. :) so despite frustrated ngan d pasar thingy, i tink d baby have lifted d frustration over n well... heee cant wait 2 hold d baby! kene tgu dia release frm d hospital... my cuzin look extremely happy n his wife pun... npk manja btl la cuzinku ngan wifenye... :) they look reli gud 2gether... well.. i wish them all d happiness in d world.. n then jpa uncle rahman yg suke pet my head *heee rase cm budak2 blik :)* n aunty ha yg mmg suke manjakan sume :) heee luv seeing them again! n nw, fill my time wif kdrama! :D *n study korean... huhuu ade test soon!!!!!*

Menatap Wajahnya (i)

2009-04-28T10:09:00.001-07:00

Si kecil nirmala,
Wajah putih, jiwa kudus,
Berlari-lari sendiri,
Mencari suatu yang hilang,
Suatu bernama kasih,
Suatu bernama sayang,
Di balik kabus peluru liar,
Dan saat itu,
Suara si kecil ceria,
Menjadi sendu yang panjang,
Kidung kasih berkumandang sayu,
Pengakhiran:
Si mukaddas yang mencari,
Dimamah si buta liar,
Iblis bertopeng insan,
Menyembah bumi sebuah jasad.

of winter 2009

2009-04-28T03:09:00.003-07:00

tis is actually a continuity of d holz thing... cz as i read thru it again, i realized tat there r a few things which i 4got 2 add on... hehehe

my tagline is *pijak kan* *sepak kang* n well.. almsot evrybody dh kene including d guys.. hehehe tp ade syarat nk sepak.. if sepak guys, kene pakai kasut if gurls bukak kasut... lembut skit.. XD *ye x cik fatin?* irfan slalu je kene sepak... hahaha *cian dia, sabar je la ye en irfan...* but mane ade gurl lain sepak guys depan2 cam 2 kan... hehehe biar la sy jd org pertama n terakhir *fuuyoooo*

next we go into d class times... im noisy in d wrong classes... bio n maths... phil confirm2 ah... once, fizree was doin a presentation on does god exist frm islamic perspective... n sum1 *tay kot* off d lights... all! n then secara naturalnye i said "OOOOOOOOOOOO like watching movie!" *bodo gyle* n then mrs singh was shocked tat she pat me on d bck.. hahaha *merepek btl myself in phil, slalu ketawa x bertempat* n then we go 2 d LAN class. malaysian as usual la.. wat do u expect... bt islamic is always very interesting 2 watch evry1...

on d last class.. all of us gv each other our last advice *hmm..* n it was kinda touching.. n then when zarina cried.. lg la terharu... ill definitely miss all of u.. i wouldnt trade even a single 1 of u wif ne1 else.. cz if tat happens, our class wouldnt b d same nemore.. rite? rahmah n qil hobi dorang tya soalan... i rmmbr one of rahmah's ade kene mengena dgn dinosaur.. hahaha *syg la x ingat in details* n then satu lg psl d communism.. hahaha.. rahmah menyokong communism n dia terkene ngan ustaz.. HAHAHA *nasib ade mahfuz yg bck her statment up psl communism is not d best method bt it is better than d others except for Islamic government* kwn dia yg dok blakang dia ckit kejam.. ketawa x hbs2... bkn nk tlg pun XD n qil ngan rahmah slalu je kena.. "let me finish first" *kan korang??* hahaha suke tgk u guysnye reaction bile dia ckp cam 2... obvi, ill b laughing at u guys.. *kejam* d guys on my right row slalu je tertido.. *ter ke????* mcm2 style bley tgk... *qil n rahmah ade d pics kan???* bile time tgk vid psl islam on terrorism lg la.... siap ade yg kene kejut... :) n then ade je soalan2 pelik yg akn ditanya *though x bley dinafikan mahfuz's questions r interesting 2 ponder upon* bt ade la certain q spt:

"ustaz, if dh ade 4 isteri.. sume menopaus, bley x kahwin sorang lg?"
"tangkap basah ngan khalwat 2 lain kan?... dah 2, ape yg basah?" (-.-")
"kalau saya kasi kawan sy rokok sy, 2 kira jihad x? sbb sy syg dgn rokok 2" -sumtin like tat-

these r d q yg slalu aje i rmmbr jz 2 make me laugh.. cm lawak gyle... *sape ek tya soalan2 nih??* XD n thn bile tido dlm kelas 2.. fuyoo.. rahmah tido tegak... *ingat lg Qil citer rahmah tido sbl main ps3, balut hadiah* ganas ah rahmah tido! kot kat umah plak... rahmah if dh tertido awal.. mmg suke pesan kejutkan dia.. *cik com ah mangsa* n then bile cik sya kejut... slalu mintak tangguh... *kan rahmah?* cam masa cedera mintak masa xtra 10 min.. ade skali 2 cik com ngan kak li renjis air kan??? XD *tat time sy baik x kcu rahmah.. ko x i join jugakz!* but bkn rahmah je ssh nk kejut.. cik tiup pun same jee... *tat is d oni time pgl dia hasanah* XD cz kot pgl cik tiup x terjaga.. hehehe kot tido sblm mandi 2.. farah g la maghrib dl... dh bgn dh ni.. pas2 cover kepala ngan towel *ye sgt ah 2 dh bgn* bile study plak... "Cik tiup, jgn study baring.. letak bantal jauh2.. nnt tertido" x caye lak ape yg sy ckp.. wat gak.. x lame pas 2.. sah2 tido! XD mmg ahhhh... nk kejut lg satu hal... hahaha last2 muke ni gak ah kene tlg dia kemas buku ngan laptop dia b4 i go 2 bed... n suro dia tido atas katil *hahaha ari 2 ajak cik tiup study kat lantai ~br best study dok ats lantai... br feel ckit!*

n then ari 2 bile sy terbangun lewat. sume ingatkan jam masing2 slah! hahaha nasib cik sya kejut..*630 kot wak2 2* trus bgn *sempat 2 naik bus 650!* jpa kat kolej... cik com: "tadi bangun tgk farah tido lg.. tgk jam dh kul 6.. ingatkan jam salah.. msh kul 4 lebih" cik rai pun kot ingatkan jam salah.. hahaha gyle ah! agaknye 630 dh cerah 2 yg yakin jam dorang betul kot.. yg muke ni terlajak tido XD ari 2 mandi mmg super xpress ah.. siap pun x yah ckp ah... tp ckp psl mandi kn... i noe ade 2 org dlm umah 2 yg mandi agak lama.. sorang cik tiup*45 min! ape ntah dia wat* n satu lg rahmah *y? cz ingat lg sue ade skali 2 ketuk bilik mandi ntah brape kali ntah suro rahmah cepat skit XD* kan kan rahmah???

kot tgk tv plak... x many stories la.. bt tgk kak li tgk keliwon best! XD dh la wat announcement keliwon dh nk start.. ajak sume tgk ngan dia... bile sume hilang nk amik mende.. "weyh, jgn ah tinggalkan aku sorang2" hahaha dan kami pun muncullah kembali.. n then.. bile ade skali 2 satu part yg ade darah cz hantu 2 cam gigit org 2... kak li org pertama yg tutup mata cm nk guling2 pun ade XD *mane cik nu ek tat time.. tgk cik nu pun best!* cik nu lg sorang la best tgk bile ade citer hantu.. hahaha comel gyle... n then ill b laughing my heads off *jahat*

kak li juga adlh pelawat tetap A0702... dia suke guna pingan mangkuk org n then ade ke x nk basuh... pas 2 lepas kene bebel kak li pun insaf dn cuci pinggan mangkuk yg digunakan.. HAHAHAHA *sape la yg bebel kak li 2... isy2.. kejam* n then barang2 hiasan kat umah mmg rahmah adlh plg rajin utk bw mende *despite sy yg tgl plg dekat* hehehe byk gyle brg cik rahmah d c2.. tgk2 brg 2 terbayang wajah rahmah * chheeewwwaaaahhh! bangga x rahmah??*

hmmm ade lg pttnye bt x teringat... nk makan dulu! ill hv tis whole holz 2 tink bout wat we did during dis sem.. :)

wwwwwwwwwwooooooooooooahhhhhhhhh holz!

2009-04-26T21:11:00.003-07:00

hahaha at last its holz season 4 taylors adp-ians.. we hv struggled this whole sem wif new subjects, new classmates, but d same old super spirited mates.. :) *cool, eh* so lemme summarize a few things which happened tis sem...

met a lot of new peepz n practically realized a lot of things which i din realize last sem.. same people but our relationship is different... we grew closer n more attached *kan cik fiz!!* i got 2 noe fizree! my phil classmate.. hehehe n i got 2 kembangkan nick name hasanah @ cik tiup *bersyukur dia x de fb.. ko x abis ahhh* n disebabkan cik tiup x puas ati i dun hv a nick she gave me 1 *cik fafa* trime je la... ape lg ye we did tis sem.. i realized n got 2 noe more peez tis sem... n my hands r always cold b4 islamic studies... huhuhu asl ntah... n then pinjam tangan nadia!! cz her hands r warm.. n i took her warmness away.. n then share lagu korea ngan cik tiup, cik fiz n mai! hehehe n then jap songs pun skali.. n dgr cik tiup bebel pasal suju.. huhuhu *peminat setia* n then lepak2 ngan kee hee.. n then kcu kee hee ngan cik tiup.. n then bersatu ngan kee hee. cik fiz. utk kcu cik tiup.. n then sy kene buli ngan cik fiz, kee hee ngan cik tiup *kejam ah* n then blik umah kene kcu ngan ain plak.. hahaha n then ade la satu ayat dr cik nu yg sy takkan lupe.. tgh jalan2 dlm bilik ngan kain telekung *habit.. pas maghrib x tanggal telekung.. tgu isyak trus* tibe2 dia berkate... "bagus ah 2.. sorang kain pelikat sorang kain telekung" nasib x tercekik dgr ayat cik nu... sabar je ahhh.. XD nk wat camne.. dh habit..

cik sya tis sem rajin tido d luar bilik.. *masalah rumah tangga XD* hahahaha apartmentku snts ade pelawat *cik rai, kak li, cik com* n kak li slalu kene bebel sbb mkn tom yam kerap sgt *weyh, jgn kot kite kuar pas ni mkn ari2.. if dpt report.. abis kak li kita pijak2* n then ade man ee yg suke menyakat org *bt slalu disakat juge* n then salah satu tugas sy adlah memicit cik com bile die ngantok tgh2 kelas econs! hahaha cik fiz jd vendor roti sementara XD n then tibe2 winter 09 comes 2 an end... hw time flies... though there r sum things which i havent achieved.. cz there r certain things which still make me think hw i could hv change it n certain things which i hope others would change 4 me.. hehehe *merepek* bt then... its over n i hope we will meet again soon! tnx sooo much all.. i will miss u guys soo much this 3 weeks :)

next... i cant help thinkin bout goin bck n lawat kyuem.. hehehe nk wat camne... tatz d place where i met u guys *skyn, bihah, umu, zatie, kak maji, muffin, zetot, etc* :) *if tulis d whole list, penuh mende nih* bile2 korang free do tell me... kite jpa kat mid la... :D wanna hear all d updates n d juicy gossips kat sane XD

2day is d 1st monday.. n skrang tgh start sesi housewife in traning *cheeewahhh* not reli though.. cz nk keep my allowance frm my parents n x feel guilty takin it.. so i assigned myself wif housechores.. so its no more allowance but my monthly salary XD things i need 2 do includes cooking, mop (alternate day), sapu, vacuum, ampai kain, cuci gune machine *bt kene practice gune dl.. tkt rosak kang. cz its a new washing machine* teach my sis and a couple of other kids.im responsible 4 almost all of these *though x semestinye kene siap all in 1 day* during weekdays.. weekends cuti! *but kene tlg gak ah* ~hahaha~ at least im training myself 2 not oni study bt 2 keep things in an organized manner which is definitely important in d future esp when i live on my own.. huhuhu x de ah sepah nnt my hse :)

so today i woke up at 8 *kira awal ah 2* n started my day wif ampai kain n mkn bfast yg ngimmi wat :) *nk blaja wat waffle la plak... lupe d recipe* n then masak... heee ari ni d main is not cookd by me cz ade lauk yg my mum's fwen kasi.. bt i cookd d rice *hehehe im a lousy tukang tanak nasi.. bt ari ni ok kot*, sambal telur hancur, n soo hoon n fu chuk msk kicap *tatau ape name dia actly*.. hehehe ngimmi kuar tis morn so i had d whole kitchen 2 myself... 2 yg bley nyanyi2 smbl masak.. HAHAHA *penambah perisa makanan* xcited sgt start msk blik.. it hs been quite sumtimes i hv cookd a meal on my own 4 d fam.. hehehe saje je msk smbl ari ni cz abah puasa.. hehehe slalunye kene mintak msk 2 br wat cz its not so healthy.. cz eggs r high in cholesterol kan.. hehehe bt though my dad suke ask me 2 put in santan *abah: it taste better* but i change it 2 milk.. hehehe *same je rase 2 me..* lookin 4ward 2 cookin lg 2mr.. hehehe nk msk assam kot esk.... bt msh apprentice lg.. cz dl mesti ade rase sumtin wrong.. haha ade skali 2 jd sambal ikan *sedih je x jd* n then my cookin class will resume wif my mum.. hehehe nnt senang! :) x de ah mkn ikan goreng je ari2 bile dok sorang.. *though i made a deal wif my mum ill b living wif her dgn syarat pas kahwin pindah ah ...but nk lawat ngimmi almost evry week gakz* hehehe

nw is d break... dh siap kemas bhgn bwh.. mop, sapu n all bt d upperpart of d hse is in a major mess.. huhuhu x vacuum, x kemas, x ape lg.. hehehe tp dh sakit pinggang la plak.. huhuhu pas 2 sakit gigi x hbs lg *man... cn d wisdom tooth b out fully fast!!* hehehe terbayang cik tiup tgh lepak2 kat bilik dia smbl rindu kat sy n smbl dgr lagu suju dia :) hehehe

jz wanna wish evry1 happy holz.. c u guys soon... like reli soon... if eva u need me, im rite by ur side.. picit je hp 2... or buzz me cz skrng ni confirm on9 almost all d time.. :D wishin evry1 a reli2 reli2 happy holz... :)

*30th april kuar result!! ~nervous~
**Tohoshinki's (DBSK) love in d ice n doshite (d jap vers) r such nice songs... suke! ~promo~

as i was watchin d vid of us in nz..

2009-04-19T02:57:00.002-07:00

tgh2 tgk vid we all kat nz dl... cam a lot of things which went through my mind... it was 5 years bck n d best thing i rmmbrd was doin d snowman.. i noe mine n my bro look like a normal one (though its not as pretty) but my dad n my sis.. hmm.. cam scarecrow XD cz it look soo stiff.... in d vid mmg ade pun gambar 2.. bt well.. i lost d pic which i took wif my bro.. as in d pic in d hp.. d reasons r:

1. dh 2kar hp... a few hp has passed b4 d current one (n im tinkin of changin again cz d hp dh wat hal)
2. d comp dh reformat.. d pic is spose 2 b there
3. i din hv a lappy.. so its oni in d desktop

i wish i still do hv it... my sis was so short (way shorter than i am which makes me proud. unlike 2day..) n well.... i hope i cn go there again.. n d doplhins r sooo cute! bt we din reli njoy snow there despite goin in winter (we oni got it in uk 2 years bck) my sis laughter was soo weird (way weirder than mine) n well... guess i did hv a gud time there... :)

*nw bck 2 study!*

I

2009-04-14T06:58:00.001-07:00

apabila satu menjadi dua
apabila dua menjadi satu
dan yang selebihnya sekadar melihat
sebuah transformasi
dari yang dulu kepada yang baru
dan yang baru kepada yang lama
dan insan sekadar bertaakul
menanti dan terus bertaakul
mencari sebuah jawapan
terusan soalan yg jernih
apabila satu menjadi dua
dan dua menjadi satu.

apabila lif casa wat hal...

2009-04-03T07:32:00.002-07:00

so spt biasa.. sy akn kembali ke umah pd stp ari jumaat (sbb umah n casa amat la hampir.. XD) n mgkn telah ditakdirkan utk sy pulang pd mlm ari hr ni... krn sy telah mendapat satu experience yg baru,, pengalaman yg tidak dpt dilupakan (nih yg bley wat karangan nih kot msh kat sek ren! bley dpt A+ nih XD)

jadi kisahnye bermula sebegini rupa...

sy menaiki lif lbh kurang jam 830 sbb buku korean language ku tertinggal di casa sedangkan ade kelas pd jam 230 esk hari.. maka, sy pun pulang la mlm ini utk memastikan tidak ketinggalan dlm kelas esk hari... so naik la lif bersama 7 org lg penduduk casa.... tibe2 dekat atr p1 n p2 dia ter'jatuh' skit.. (suatu fenomena yg normal) jd kami abaikan saje.. bile lif terbuka d p1 sbb mmg dh jd mende yg biase.. dia akn sangkut, jatuh n ok blik..

meskipun begitu, nasib tidak menyebelahi kami mlm ini.. tibe2 dh sangkut dia nk naik blik.. n thn bising cm nk rosak.. n true enuf.. dia jatuh ckit blik... n then d door trus x nk open.. maka mula la slh sorang lelaki dlm lif mula menyumpah.. sy abaikan aje.. n trus berbual ngan sorang nurse pantai yg tinggal d tingkat 15... ade kot 5 malaysian d other 3 foreigners... so one of d foreigners la yg ckp ngan guard btau kitorang stuck.. huhu n thn mula la penantian kami...

disebabkan ayahanda ku menanti di bwh.. maka sy terpaksa pinjam hp org utk inform (cz bley ari ni dgn takdirnye sy sehelai sepinggang aje blik.. x bw hp.. ) n thn dlm lif 2 mcm2 la yg terjadi.. ade yg duduk melunjur, mengangkang, berdiri, ketawa (saya la 2), senyum (kwn baru saya la 2), sedih (sorang gurl cz bus dia kul 10), menyumpah, hpr tido... huhu

mula2 dia kate 2 min... berubah ke 5.. n seterusnye... n then tetibe lampu terpadam.. agak terkejut n berderau darah.. tp msh lagi kononnye cool.. ade kot seminit 2... huhuhu kemudian tibe2 guard kate cuba bukak pintu (mane bley.. nk kopak pun x larat -lelaki ah-) n thn dia kate nk call jkr.. pelik gak.. pe kene mengena jkr ngan mende nih.. n then tetibe nk pgl technician.. n menunggu 2 lame gak laa..huhuhu

bile dh bukak.. maka sy ingatkan its at p1.. tgk2 dia atr p1 n p2.. so kene terjun.. dh ah pki kasut heels cz kasut flat kat casa..huhu tp bantai je terjun.. dh terjun 2... tgk satu lg lif plak spt mslh.. kemudian sy ngan kawan baru amik keputusan naik tangga (gyle ah jauh..dr p1 ke tingkat 7) n thn naik trus ngadu ngan cik sya n cik nu (cik tiup x prasan kite blik.. isy3) n thn minum air n bertolak ke bwh...

bile bertolak ke bwh.. jpa plak danial.. upe2nye ibundaku menelefon n mintak tlg tgk2kan.. pk2 bknnye bley wat pape kot.. msh kene tgu technician gakz... (kot x kuar lg la) pape pun, tnx :) so akhirnya kini, sy tlah pulang.. meski ibunda meng offer utk dihtr n jemput ke kolej stp ari (yakni dok umah) sy rase ade hikmah kot dok casa... hmm, menguatkan semangat kot bile mende2 cm ni jd.. mmg la nervous bt then.. it thought me 2 remain calm at all c2ation.. hehehe spt kate cik fiz.. bajet cool...

konklusi yg dpt dibina berdasarkan ape yg tlg terjadi:
1) jgn naik lif sorang2... bahaya.. naik ramai2... tp jgn la spi cm sempit spt sardin dlm tin.. nazak sgt 2...
2) snts remain cool dlm c2asi yg mengejutkan..jgn cpt panic.. sbb bile panic, jantung denyut lebih laju, lack of O2 n then bley pengsan.. hmm bahaya..

jd.. berhati2 d jalan raya -ehh??!!!-

d 27/3 report

2009-03-28T09:41:00.002-07:00

0530 - bangun pagi siap2 ke kolej
0645- bas letak kitorang kat dpn mcd.. menyumpah2
0700- spi kat kolej.. tido kat 12.12 XD
0815-pegi bfast.. jpa kak li, cik tiup, kee hee, keat yee, aitidal, cik sya
0900-calculus 162
1000-lepak ngan cik fiz kat level 12
1100- islamic studies
1200-lepak ngan cik fiz
1245-malaysian studies meeting
1330-lunch ngan mega, cik fiz, fatin
1400-zohor
1430-meeting wif pd n councilor
1530-blik umah ngan cik tiup bersama ngimmi n masak lepas dpt hadiah frm sis.. terharu sgｔ!
1845- siap msk.. n cepat2 asar -truk gyle-
1915-g beli kek kat bakers cottage
1945-bw makanan ke atas n thn maghrib
2030-turun pas isyak.. dpt kad dr sume.. trime kasih all!
2300-naik atas.. siap kemas sume... teman cik tiup tgk citer antu
0100-tido...

（つかえる　でも　ほんと　に　うれしい　です　よ！　みんな。。あｒがとう　ございます！）

n ari ni skali lagi

2009-03-20T06:15:00.002-07:00

skali lagi bertemu seorang sahabat yg lame menghilang!!

pdn ah sms x berjawab.. dh 2kar no upenye..

tp takdir menentukan kami bertemu kembali.. di casa subang...

pusat menjalinkan n merapatkan ukhuwah (apakah???)

heeeee SUS rindu ah!! lame x jumpe.. x pe, nnt bile kite free ckit kite lepak2 kat management office, ek!! =D

20 things i wanna do..

2009-03-19T06:05:00.003-07:00

this is d list of things which i wanna do... lets start.. I WANNA:

1. write short stories and poems again but i never have d time to do so..
2. go bck 2 ky but i dun tink ill b able 2 do so...
3. grad as soon as possible n b bck wif both my masters and degree in hand
4. maintain my identity as who i am now but im worried i mite get lost half way there...
5. noe who i truly am but i get confused at times
6. let peepz now tat i truly care though i barely show it
7. learn 2 refrain myself frm losing my temper and keepin things cool
8. smile as much as i can n keep on smilin though im goin through pain
9. keep my head cool when d time comes 4 me to fly
10. wish those takin TOEFL in penang this sun all d best
11. make d gathering wif man ee a success =)
12. skip summer class n master my korean.. huhu n jap as well
13. finish my 162 assignment though it is takin me ages 2 get it done
14. finish my phil assign n prepare all d slides
15. find info on klinefelter symptom for my bio lab
16. get over d fear which i felt frm bio class on syndromes in children due to problems in meiosis n crossin over.. hence, d fear 2 conceive? XD (jk,jk) -man, i felt sorry 4 them.. so young..n goin through a lot... =(-
17. spend more time reflecting on wat ive did rather than fall asleep quarter way thru revising
18. study 4 my tests n finals n do my best 4 d dramas for bio n socs 111
19. 2 find d true meaning of happiness n peacefulness
20. 2 find d person (besides my fam n close fwenz la) who could wipe away all d sadness in me jz wif a glimpse of tat person's smile n words.. -long term goal XD-

and once again...

2009-03-05T07:23:00.002-08:00

and once again..

TOPAZ soar up into d sky!!! =D

amat berbangga 2 b a topazian not oni 4 d achievements bt 4 d spirit in all of u.. heee so proud of u guys though i oni hv d surface insight on hw u guys r doin...

bt no matter wat! keep up d gud work!

GOOO TOPAZZ!!

-c budak yg jauh d mata tp msh kepo nk tau pe jd kat sane-

Korean Class- its d 1st time!!

2009-02-21T04:19:00.001-08:00

kurassu wa hajimemasu!!!

din noe i could end up being d blurest kid on earth in a language class (summore since im d eldest... d others r my sis n her fwen..) felt kinda idiotic bt well.. tis language is perfectly new 2 me.. due 2 d fact ive been focusing on jap so yeah.. im totally left behind in class jz nw.. bt doesnt matter.. bit by bit i hope 2 b able 2 catch up

nw d big prob... my schedule is packd enuf wout another lang 2 study n nw i hv n xtra sub.. i wonder hw am i gonna revise tat sub.. gotta learn 2 find time.. squeeze around 30 mins perday 2 revise.. esp d pronunciation part.. OMG!! i thought im about 2 choke... guess coz its my first time..

d teacher is nice enuf.. i 4got wats teacher in korean alredi.. sansonni or sonsanmi or sumtin like tat -im such a 4getful person, tatz y my jap studies is SOOO slow-

hw more 2 go... haihzzz... ne1 wanna help me 2 finish them up????

n i had nutin better 2 do..

2009-02-20T01:05:00.003-08:00

today i have loadz of assignments.. its frm d whole week (not reli d whole actly) n nw i havent touched them yet.. dun feel like doin though its like stacks of assignments n hw... i havent been in a mood 4 d last few days... no matter hw much i try i realized ive been spacing out quite a lot lately.. even in classes hmm well... malaysian i guess.. coz i kinda njoy bein in islamic... hehehe =D

each work im doin i cant gv my full conc.. ask nurul hw ws i doin my hw tis morn.. talkin rather than doin... my mind is jz not straight yet.. n my heart has been turnin upside down these past few days.. its a kinda feelin which hurts bt at d same time i treasure it.. hmm.. i wonder hw am i spose 2 put it in words.. its diff i guess... a feeling which rarely comes bt comin bck these few days.. haihzz.. n mayb tatz y ive been noisier than usually (ive always been noisy.. bt i tink tis week slight xtra than usual..)

i hv realized my sleepin trend.. among d whole week there definitely gonna b 1 day where ill wake up at 6 sumtin tis week its thurs, last week its wed.. its always between wed n thurs... huhu n nw i askd sue 2 wake me up.. hehehe bad enuf eh, not able 2 wake up as early as i hope.. n if i were 2 force myself 2 stay up then d next day ill oversleep.. huhu

oh yeah.. im a lil bit worried 4 my results dis sem.. i gotta get 3.5 n above or say gudbye 2 flyin tis year.. do pray 4 me! whoeva goin 2 us... do tell me.. who noes i mite cook up lunch 4 ya! =)

I LUV MY FAM, MATES N EDUCATORS.... if i were 2 luv sumtin, i could rmmbr evry single detail of it n if i were 2 hate sumtin i would hate it 4eva.. i sound like an evil freak.. XP im tired.. i wanna rest... i jz wanna b able 2 close my eyes n empty my mind n find d peace n calmness within me... would sum1 guide me?

10 Nafas

2009-02-10T00:01:00.002-08:00

Nafas pertama,
'Ain terbuka-pandangan pertama;
Nafas kedua,
Gegelung kasih mencengkam jiwa;
Nafas ketiga,
Jasad menggerak menggapai lelangit;
Nafas keempat,
Mencari cita sesirnar bintang;
Nafas kelima,
Mencari cinta tak kunjung tiba;
Nafas keenam,
Mengenal Illahi yang satu;
Nafas ketujuh,
Dambaan jiwa-ketenangan;
Nafas kelapan,
Cinta dan cita dalam genggaman;
Nafas kesembilan,
Mutlak diriku untukMu;
Nafas kesepuluh,
Yang terbuka sudah terkatup,
Yang bermula telah berakhir.

d gud things whch happened

2009-02-07T04:06:00.002-08:00

several gud things hv happened i spose.. lemme list them down.. im sooo glad tat i cant help smiling n close 2 tears.. tears of joy btw...

1. topaz won bangsawan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 4 awards babe! =D

2. ive finished my interview wif penn.. so glad its over

3. ive got an offer from wash

4. i managed 2 do my maths 162 hw though not all r correct... bt i tried! =D

5. i miss my mates.. (is tat a gud thing?)

guess tatz all 4 d time being... time is runnin out 4 me 2 b in mas... 4 d time being i noe ill b leavin in sept bt then.. if i got other offers i mite leave earlier.. mayb... mayb...

bt 4 d time being.. i wanna b free n njoy d gud things!!!!!!!! XD

I'm a BigBang member!!!

2009-01-31T05:58:00.003-08:00

juz wanna tell evry1 im in BigBang! -proud eh 2 hv me as a fwen-

juz during my Calculus 162 class... it was chosen by my mates...

i noe sum r cursing me... wth is wrong wif this idiotic gurl...

guess its true in sum ways!! :D

-title-

2009-01-16T21:10:00.003-08:00

i was doin maths when sdnly i remembered.. d week i was told 2 leave ky i jz told my mum i am not goin bck home over d weekends since d holz is jz 1 week away.. n it was a day b4 i got d call i tink... i thought it was of no significance bt then nw i tink its jz a way 2 show tat things dun always go d way i want it 2 be... instead of not goin bck 4 d weekends, i ended up goin bck 4eva.. ironic, eh? =)

hw i get 2 remember tis.. i tink d stress wif calculus 4 bus 2 did it.. on thurs i tink i was talkin n laughin all d time despite notin was particularly hilarious.. my mates were shocked n mayb kinda scared of me at tat time bt nw im kinda stable though it brought back certain stuf which nvr crossed my mind b4... hehehe

n ystrdy i managed 2 shock a couple of guys 4 playin dota.. seriously, im not gud at it.. jz 2 release d tense frm 162 n tatz bout it.. bt they were shocked i cn tell ya tat 4 sure :D

seriously.. im doin my maths at d mo... graphs again.. i hv been stuck wif tis 4 d whole week.. lab report is not done yet... gonna get it done latest 2nite!!

back 2 work! ;)

now...

2009-01-11T06:30:00.004-08:00

somehow these past few days i feel a lil bit disturbed. instead of looking forward 2 classes in taylors, ive been tinkin a lot bout kyuem.. hehehe though things r under control, i hv a feelin tat im bein slightly sensitive these past few days...ive been tinkin n tinkin.. tat at times if im not careful im certain i would b drowned in thoughts, again.. tinkin of 'if' again.. =) not a gud thing 2 do, i assure u

wonder hw things gonna turn out tis sem.. i realized at times wat i say n tink r 2 diff things... there is definitely a mask im wearing; concealin d part of me.. im inside a glass box.. protecting my heart from those i dislike.. bt i guess d glass is about 2 break.. 2 many things hv happened.. 2 many events which caused it 2 crack n alas its either i soar or ill sink... things happen 4 a reason n i havent forgiven myself and d other party.. n i spose tatz wat put me in tis tight position... an unforgiving loneliness at times.. barely 4get d meaning of it since last aug bt i spose life is unperfect... d imperfectness makes me tink... n tink.. n at times get tired of tinking...

nevertheless, i shall find a reason 2 move on.. though my heart is still behind bt i guess i gotta go.. n leave a part of me behind.. i still am tinkin wat if.. even rite nw... still tinkin n it wont stop till sumtin larger happen n mite take me by surprise... as much as d july n aug surprise... as long as i havent forgiven myself 4 d decision... i guess ill b stuck like tis 4eva...

so, lets start d 2nd part of my journey.. like wat sum1 said b4, i hv d most interestin edu journey in my fam n slowly it mite kill me frm knowin my self.. it mite make me a good actress though.. mayb i shud take up theater class soon... =P

l.e.t.s.w.o.r.k.h.a.r.d.t.o.a.c.h.i.e.v.e.o.u.r.d.r.e.a.m.z.t.h.o.u.g.h.i.t.w.o.u.l.d.m.e.a.n.i.n .f.l.i.c.t.i.n.g.p.a.i.n.o.n.s.e.l.f.

Six

2009-01-06T06:03:00.004-08:00

Walking down the path,
Where birds fly free, breeze singing,
Sakura floating.

Moon, remain hidden,
And darkness embraces me,
Immutable curse.