1st kendo practice summary

so.. lemme summarize hw it went... 4 months of kendo-free vacation is takin d toll on me now... *oh yeah.. exercise free too.. which made things evn 'btr' ^^*

Intro
->pre warm up prep
--> arrive slightly early than practice time: good; didnt manage to tie my all my do himo before called to line up: bad -.-;;; *yeah i was doing that while jumping@warm up*

Part I: Warm up
-> the usual stuff
--> thought i was gonna die from haya-suburi --> obvi, due 2 lack of prac im waaayyy slower nw T.T and my arms get SUPER tired ezly T.T

Part II: Shiai Keiko
-> my 1st rxn was: OMG I jz got bck and my first practice is shiai???!!!!!!
--> managed to do.. umm do? owh well.. at least it was a draw + a cut on my toe... >.< 1st time i actly hurt myself *minus of blisters* while doing kendo... -.-;;; Thanks to Bolling Sensei who patched me up though ^^

Part III: Waza
-> let's see.. kirikaeshi, men uchi, kote uchi, do uchi, kote men, de-kote, multiple strikes~
--> i used to have lots of fun doing de-kote.. and now im really really bad at it.. timing = fail T.T i reli need to work on it >.< fast!! >.< im always bad at do... -.-;; so yeah.. trying 2 improve on it.. kote men --> i did funny stuff all d time.. so i end up slowing down a bit... multiple: worse -.-;;

Part IV: Jikeiko
-> the usual stuff...
--> which also mean i almost fainted during the whole keiko... there goes all my stamina.. >.<

Conclusion
-> talked with people and met my jr *lol... im d MIA sr*
--> it was really fun and refreshing.. and these are what I get from doing kendo tonight:
i. fun
ii. catch up with peepz
iii. bleeding toe
iv. blister on my left hand
v. a bruise which is swelling up on my right hand *i think that was meant for my kote* xD
vi. exhausted that i gotta take short stops on d way bck home... my body jz refused 2 listen 2 me~
---> owh well.. friday another round and i hope ill go bck home in a better shape ^^

~sigh~

i am certain that i am under pressure at d mo

due 2 d overwhelming assignments~ T.T 

and that's why d way i react is gettin weirder over the days...

*more like since when im nervous i smile.. i end up laughin these days... for no single spec reasons*

bt more like jz 2 calm myself down~ 

owh gosh.. either i do that.. or just close my eyes and re-think my priorities and strategy hw 2 survive tis new quarter...

학생 생활이 힘들지만 포기하면 안 돼! ㅋㅋㅋ 힘내!  ^^ 

bck!

back in seattle... after a long journey..
and yet.. i am still unsettled..
not due to jetlag (which i managed to experience this time) -.-;;;
but due to never ending assignments..
yeah.. skippin 3 days of school = more things to catch up..
bt i din expect it to take more than the weekends to catch up with things >.<
nevertheless...

today i started volunteering again at bf day school..
yeah after 1 acad year.. ^^
and i was reli happy 2 b bck~
at least d kid i hv is reli obedient.. ^^
and kind and nice n sweet..
n almost evrytin im x~
good 2 b bck....

and i shall end here and return bck 2 my assignments T.T

i had nutin 2 do...

when i have nutin to do..
and i listen to slow songs *as if i dun do do tis daily*
so i end up doin tis....

The Uncertain Yesterday 

Staring at the moon, on a silent night
Silently thinking
Will this sweet tasting yesterday last till my last breath?
Will this heart warming yesterday last till my last breath?
If I could hold on to the memory of yesterday
If I could hold on to the feeling from yesterday
Will the feeling called happiness be mine?
Or will it fade away and leave me with the feeling of emptiness?

Hoping the lonely moonlight would sing me the answers
And yet all I had was more to ponder
Will he be just another past?
or will he be more than a mere memory?

Walking through this rocky road of life
Swimming through the sea of fate
As we fade from each other's sight
I silently ponder
Will yesterday be another past or the future?



 ok done! ^^ --> after re-reading it.. i wonder if there is any aesthetic value in that or if it even makes sencse *an obvi sign tat i should read more* -.-;;

updates!

let's see.............................

7 weeks had passed since i started my internship..
n nw its over...
approx 2 more weeks 2 go b4 i head 4 korea --> seattle sometimes i wonder..
y does time fly soo fast esp when it is something which i wan it 2 last... s
omething imp... at least 2 me ^^
no matter hw trivial peepz mite tink it is...
it need x b sometin big or eye catching..
 evn sumtin small.. evn sumtin as simple as a smile.. it could def make my day.. ^^
*n yes, im still smilin 4 a reason* ^^
so internship~~~ i totally njoyed d whole 7 weeks...
n i did wish it could last longer or at least 4 time 2 pass by slower
no.. it doesnt mean d job was ez... bt i def did fall in luv with d atmosphere.. ^^
i wouldnt mind returnin 2 kbs..
bt id say ive kinda set my eys on kln..
though where ill b sent by jpa is yet a question unans til i grad n report bck 4 duty~
i wonder if ill eva find a workin atm as fun as wat i went through..
all d laughters and jokes... all d frowns n complaints~ xD
but cant deny im totally exhausted as soon as i get bck
 -->nap in d car or passing out by 9pm xD <-- which is sooo not me xD *oni d passing out early~*
but owh well...
there is a reason 4 everytin, i guess
wonder wats in store 4 me in d future wonder hw wat i go thru 2day will affect my future....
such is how life works... wonders of life... wat we cherish today shall remain wif us forever...
d tiniest things which peepz usually overlook.. is wt actly could touch another's heart.. i guess... ^^
at least i noe tat is kinda true... 4 me at least...

 enuf wif my rambling on work... movin on~

 my cute baby niece!!
gosh.. im so happy i went 2 perak...
 gosh.. i wish i could meet her again b4 i leave...
 or mayb i shall try my best 2 wait patiently till i come bck 2 msia...
perhaps dec, nxt year, or in 2 years time? O_O
she is def x my 1st niece.. bt at least d first baby niece...
hehehe anak2 sedare yg ade skrg sume x jauh beza umo.. so i guess d xcitement is diff....
yeah i hv baby cuz who r really tiny... and young...
 bt still.. it gvs a diff kinda feeling... its more like..i cant reli dscrb it in words...
anyways.. more like.. d nxt gen of d fam is jumpin 2 d nxt step in life...
n well.. long story.. bt there r various othr reasons y i hv these kinda mixd feelin... -.-;;;;
aftr d age of 21.. u do kinda change ur perspective on certain things on life, dun u?
mayb tis is wat u call as bein more matured...
hmm.. bt lookin at hw i act.. i doubt im movin in2 tat drctn~

nxt few things whch i need 2 do:
1. study (korean n environment)
2. buy stuff
3. pack stuff (seattle n korea)
4. get enuf rest!
5. pick out new dramas n animes while my break lasts.. (as if it makes a diff when school starts) 

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reality Check

I thought I saw a star,
Shining brightly in the dark sky,
To brighten my days of sorrow.

I though I saw a shining sun
Ending the sleepless dark nights,
A ray of hope;
Warmth of love.

I thought a mind once set will never crumble
Steps once made will never stumble,
And yet here I am
Staring at the ground
With a heart broken to pieces,
And I'm falling deeper
Into an eternal darkness.

alas~~~

alas im done wif my work~~~ *for d day at least*
ok wait.. another one.. bt well.. nothin i cn do til d othr party ans d phone call~~~
so... x counted~~ ^^
nw im studyin in my cube~~~
whee korean.. i miss studyin korean...
bt somehw its makin me sleepy >.<
i shudnt sleep, rite? -.-;;;;

on the way back home~~~

wheeeeeeeee~~~~~~~~~~~~
there goes my almost-one-day travel in korea ^^
it was so short.. yet i think it is more memorable this time~~
honestly, knowing korean does allow more things to happen around me~
hing~ such as talking with my crappy korean with people + trying hard to graps what the other person is talking about with my worse than limited vocab -.-;;;
but i would say.. regardless of that... i managed to survive!
and i wasnt too worried of getting lost *due to my lack of sense of direction --> it is almost unavoidable.. except when im in seattle*
nevertheless...
despite the hot weather *i frowned quite a bit when walking under the hot sun + definitely hot weather* -.-;;;;
now on d way back home ^^

another academic year has passed~

i cant believe another academic year has gone... and i am on the way back home.. once again..
it was so fun that time passes within a blink of an eye...
for all my complaints *because of workload, etc but it felt like time passed by too quickly....
what happened to my 24 hours per day?
what have i done that it went away without me realizing it?
it almost felt like i was in a dream and i just woke up from a bitter-sweet dream ^^
can the dream repeat itself?

a new academic year is gone
while some are leaving to achieve their own dreams..
there will always be new people to meet with~
while excitement in meeting with them is undeniable
the memories we painted together is an unforgettable landscape
remembering the good times we spent together
can time just stop
or better,
can i go back to the days when we are all together?

the picture we painted together is so beautiful that it hurts to look at it from afar... ^^

me me me me me T.T

i need 2 conc on wat im spose 2 do.. lookin at wat ive been doin.. im doin more tinkin than d readin which r due T.T i shudnt do tis.. T.T

there is sumtin on my mind.. n i shud get it out... >.< i shud... bt... it isnt...

perhaps.. one day... this weekends when i hv d time id let it out... in words ^^

a painting of words? xD

the confused me..

when i was walking back home.. it just popped out of my brain..

"dont say things u dun mean... coz ur d 1 who will end up gettin hurt~"

somehow.. somehow.. >.< and somehow.... i feel out of it............. like i jz wan 2 bury myself in my blanky n x go anywhere >.<;;;

confused me...

im so.. immature T.T

my 1st ever homemade ice cream!!

YES i managed to make my own ice cream~ without an ice cream maker.. yes.. texture wise not as smooth as how i wish it would be but since i dont have d maker.. so yeah~ ^^ heee green tea ice cream.. nxt time i ought to reduce 1 egg yolk but it stil taste gud as it is now ^^ heeee and its easy to make.. besides my impatience to eat it... ^^ but its reli simple~ HEHEHE i guess i kinda memorized hw 2 make it by nw.. im glad i strained d mixture b4 freezing it.. so tat there r x lumps of watever stuff in my ice cream~ HEEE nxt time.. i shall try out some other flavor.. HEEEE im so proud of myself.. for real.. this time :D

pre and post finals!

----------------------------pre (last) finals---------------------------------------------------

sooooooooooooooooooooooo yes! i felt useful on 17th.. :D volunteerin is a gud thing 2 do.. ^^ its a gud experience.... so wat i did was helpin JCCW 2 collect donations 4 peace winds america n american red cross... ^^ one thing i learnt is x judge a person by their physical appearance.. those who i thought might donate end up din do tat and those i din expect actly donated quite generously! not all.. but well.. some.. it's hard to convince peepz 2 donate at some point.. and esp d 1st time when we *joyce n me* were standin at d side there.. we did look kinda illegit.. LOL college students without any id, etc sdnly standing there askin 4 donations... if im in their shoes i wouldnt donate too... lol we did get.. yeah i will donate but not here --> change of strat --> jz give out flyers until we got the donation box, name tag and d red cross vest ^^

wat i did that day... collect donations, gv our flyers and run around uwa 2 send d box to and fro ^^it was tiring.. in a way.. *i was bowing excessively -.-;;;* n i kinda realize i used a higher pitch tha usual and smiling more than usual and a bit more.. umm kinder lookin than usual (?) lolz.. owh wel.. i guess i was hepi wif wat i was doin~ its fun and rewarding ^^ and on top of that.. gotta socialize around wif other volunteers.. meetin new peepz! which is always fun :) i shud do these kinda things more often... it is pretty rewarding... so yeah ^^ and of course, it didnt rain which allowed us to remain dry the whole day... and def, since its in uwa... shoppin.. and bought my edamame and gobo.. and sotaimo! :DDDD heee cookin is fun :)

---------------------post finals--------------------------------------------------------------

meet up wif d gurls (dib, joyce, manny, keat yee, chai fong, yih en) and had sushi for dinner after my finals!!! musashi @ wallingford... it's pretty nice there i guess.. a bit small --> x reli a fam place 2 go bt its a gud place 2 jz drop by get something and get going.. ^^ it is gud and d price is reasonable :) tnx 2 joyce who dragged all of us there.. ^^ and then later after that --> bbtea at oasis and guess who i met.. noelle and damon.. xD chat 4 a bt b4 joinin d gurls gain... ^^ *owh n i got green mango slush xD --> it's ok i guess bt x sour >.<* we talk bout lots of random stuff... boy we havent met 4 a long time!! it felt like a tiny reunion.. xcept tat we din take tat much pics xD i kinda miss evry1.. we shud def do tat again soon... talk talk talk at oasis til ard 9 --> went 2 bartells --> joyce hse till 1100 -.-;;; --> bck home.. lol

anime anime anime --> essay --> anime --> essay --> anime --> essay --> anime --> edit! i luv editin bt i tink editin is harder than writin d paper itself.. i did edit my own ppr n ended up rewritin d whole essay --> cz d msg wasnt clear.. -.-;;;;;; owh well.. lets c hw things goes...

ps: i jz pulled an all nighter.. havent slept since i woke up 4 xm... i nvr pull all nighter 4 d right reason xD

im silly~ LOL

so due to the past few days of hibernating b4 i reli wanna do tat.. i tried to do things one step ahead b4 my brain tell myself to hibernate.. :DDDD i tried to outdo myself.. LOL so what i did was past midnite --> turn off d lights --> roll myself wif my blanky --> continue readin my notes and that was the nite when i stayed up pretty late but then alas.. i did sleep in front of my lappy without me realizin it.. xcept tat tis time i managed to save some electricity rather than waking up and WTH! lights are still on~ xD d silly things i do~ xD

and. and... my listenin practice for korean.. :D im very happy i am a bit more enlightened when listenin korean songs.. im no more listenin jz 4 d heck of it bt im tryin 2 understand d song.. :DDD its goin on pretty well so far *minus off the vocab i dont know* but there are a few things which i realize are my major weakness. i havent managed 2 tell d diff between ㅗ n ㅓ, ㅔ n ㅐ *though i was told it sounds d same bt its hard 4 me to translate what it means coz i keep on gettin d wrong spelling* and double consonants. i would also say in songs its hard for me to catch the word and it kinda makes me confused... and i feel totally silly when i read the lyrics and im like.. owh.. i noe tat word actually -.-;;;;;;;;;;;; orz owh well.. more room for improvement! ^^

me T.T --> bad student @.@

these couple of days.. ive been falling a sleep in front of my laptop.. and i have x idea wat time did i exactly fall asleep T.T d nxt thing i noe.. i wake up around 4am and d lights and all are still on.. and def my laptop.. ill b like half asleep... turn off d lights --> shut down my laptop --> grab my mp3 *for some reasons and turn it on* --> and hibernate again... my brain is hibernatin b4 i tell it 2 do so.... this is.. x bad but shocking... usually i tell myself 2 sleep.. but now sleep comes before i want 2... LOL i cant exactly blame my brains.. ive been tryin 2 think of multiple things at d same time... straighten things up... etc.. n yesterday was cleanin day 2 *d ritual b4 finals *though nw its gettin messay again but well..* i guess i was quite exhausted... bt i shud def start studyin... d 3 main things i need 2 do are: studyin --> writing --> writing xD 2 writings... one for my sis and one for myself.. so yeah~ T.T time management! xD

question of the day: how bad can i mess things up?

ok so today.. i know i need to go to school early.. to print out my script to pass it to my teacher... wake up early, checked! yes i managed to wake up earlier than usual.. more like i have been waking up earlier than usual the past couple of days.. for some unknown reason.. maybe my brain is taking charge of my body and telling me how i need to start waking up early... owh.. well.. but i did end up rolling in my blanky for another half an hour.. but even after that its still earlier than usual~

get stuff ready... edit the script again *adding in all the corrections* and then i was thinking.. i need to do something with it.. but.. owh well... i have no idea what is it... let's just shut the laptop and start getting ready to school... *mistake 1*

then move out of room --> take all stuff i need and went to reheat my lunch... then --> owh... why are things not so clear.. gosh.. spectacles *mess up 2* --> went to the room and get it

packing stuff up.. hmm.. today saba... wait... i think i need something else... what else should i bring for my lunch.. yeah.. gum.. crap, its in the room *mess up 3* --> went back to my room and get it

ok.. today.. IMA.. clothes, etc all ready... owh wait... shoes.. hmm its in the locker room.. owh yeah... my socks for wateva im gonna do there... nice.. i gotta go to my room again *mess up 4*

so yeah.. from leaving at 945... i ended up leaving at 1010. yeah still have a lot of time to go to ode --> PAA and still not be late for class... i can walk fast.. heeee... not too bad...

walking to the lib.. why do i need 2 go there.. yeah print the script... i lost my USB again.. so.. crap, i forgot to mail the document to my own email so that i can print it... owh yeah, that was what i was supposed to do before shutting down my laptop *continuation of mess up 1* man.. whats wrong with me today... so rushed to the library... and my laptop took ages to start up... got it printed at 1030. there goes my time management... rushed to class... late but thankfully class havent started yet... \^O^/

lunch time... ok sweet. lunch... yeah.. xcept i kinda lost my appetite since yesterday --> gotta force myself to eat *+ yesterday, forced myself to cook.. i dun feel like it at all* so i thought things will be fine from now... well x reli fine but at least without any messing up of stuff.. ate lunch.. ok i wanna drink my tea... and then... THEN! damn i forgot to soak my tea bag -.-; *mess up 5* seriously...

its only half day gone.. i wonder what else can i mess up today.. 5 things in a day... im feeling even worse now... i havent been feeling right for the past few days and i guess.. its causin me to mess my days even more... T.T

---------------------------part 2

went to d gym.. got lazy.. i was supposed to do some stretchin + sit up + push up --> laziness.. i cut everything to lesser number of times... see... im lazy and i ended up staring at the ceiling or at the floor for a few mins.. i din reli mess netin up here or there at ima. but then i managed to do elliptical at a constant pace *HAHAHA* for 30mins.. which means.. mayb.. maybe my stamina is gettin a bit better! :D (+1) so yeah i was pretty happy~ :D

so after ima-ing inclusive of all d stuff i do there... i started to walk back home.. HOME early coz internet was really bad back at suz... it was soo slow i felt like i could faint.. i couldnt even talk 2 my fwen... gosh... (mu6)

so i was walkin hepily.. innocently tinkin things will b fine now.. walking.. walking.. looking at the grass and then i almost twisted my ankle... (mu7) i wasnt jumping or anything like it... i just almost fell and was close to twisting my ankle.. T.T for no reason... for no reason at all.... no1. it was embarrassing no2. it hurts.. a bit... when i thought all will be fine.. T.T

nxt.. i started walking like an obaasan.. super slow... and my bag was sumwat super heavy.. its d usual load but it felt worse than usual all d way up d stairs frm ima... man.. i guess its just me being weird... maybe its d weight of wat im tinkin off makes me a bit.. crazy.. possibly... -.-; but well... and i continued walkin slowly xcept when crossing roads *i dun plan 2 get hit by a car or anger drivers for crossing like a turtle* so yeah... it took me hmm... 40mins ish to walk back today... lol.. double the time than usual... -.-;

but on d way bck... (mu8) took place... yeah... i was walkin and suddenly i dropped my file for no reason.. i was holding it and it just.. slipped.. i tink i accidentally let it go.. or something like that... i didnt bump into anythin neither was i shocked by anything.. i just... dropped it... for no apparent reason... -.-;

at least now im safe bck at home... i hope im not going 2 do anytin which could make things worse for me.. studies wise.. im almost done with all readings.. so not too bad.. ill try my best 2 b gentler 2 myself~

phew.. looonnnggg day~ ^_^

today is highline taikai! yeah,, initially i was more to super nervous that i thought im going to faint at the dojo.. but i guess i wasnt supremely nervous that it didnt actually happen *good thing* so i managed to wake up early and got at the parking lot on time 2 meet up with the others~ *phew* looking at how bad i am at waking up in the morning.. it is a really good thing that i managed to pull it off... more like i know i can wake up just that im being plain old lazy me~ XD

so d taikai.. it went well... tied one, lost 2.. -.-; but at least it's d experience which really matters to me... some comments which i received *it sumwat sounds like tis*

1. you make many good hits *HIHIHI* but i dont know which one do you want. u need to show me what you really want to hit so that i can call it a point --> resolution: i need 2 b more decisive when doin any matches and instead of just hitting whatever i can get.. plan ahead.. *if i can do tat -.-;*

2. you were 2 close in, so that's why all ur hit gets jammed --> resolution: im bad at my distance, bt ill try 2 be more mindful of it and instead of just hitting whenever i want to.. i should think first~

3. you did good by chasing them after getting hit but you should do it at 3/4 of their speed so tat u dun get too close in and hit too deep --> resolution: i should use my common sense more rather than just go around running.. gotta remember distance T.T

4. you might need to hold your komai higher since others are taller so its ez 4 thm 2 get ur men. but you put a lot of pressure *or is it tension.. -.-;* im proud of you! *i love Noelle!* :D --> resolution: adjust my komai and continue putting pressure

conclusion: i need 2 use my brain more durin kendo.. i shall have fun but at d same time more tactical? hee im kinda xcited for practice tis wed and uw taikai too~ :D fun friday, most prob ill jz help out.. unless if sumtin else cmes up~ esp since im a 4kyu.. i tink i shud def try harder 2 improve my kendo... and x mess around too much.. bt at d same time not lose d fun of doin kendo :)

hmm other imp dates... lets c... meetings and quizzes...
03.16 --> korean finals
03.18 --> sisea 212 finals



and




i shall stop there.

Report 4 d 3 days break!

YES i managed 2 do almost evrytin i wanted 2 do + others which i din plan 2 do~

wat i did:
- cleaning + laundry
- cookin gud food ^^
- enuf sleep~~~ :D
- memorize vocab
- finish up reading 4 sisea

wat is almost done:
- korean comp: oni formatin left
- phys 110 ppr --> hvnt started writin bt research started :D
- d project: oni left 2 knit d bag ^^ --> whch wasnt exactly planned

wat i din plan 2 do:
- mochi
- warcraft --> i totally miss this >.< so yeah... i was def more productive bt gettin lazier by mon... and joyce visited me on mon 2! which made me evn lazier 2 study aftr tat.. n nw im in my class --> sposed 2 study bt umm~ XD

alas~ i cooked... stuff i like~ :DDD

so.. so.. so.. today... well it was stil pretty simple food but alas i cooke dmy siakap @sea bass :DDD steamd wif soy sauce... i made d sauce twice since d 1st time it was too sweet~~ so yeah... i was makin it n tis time i added some ginger powder~ n it tasted better... bt then.. i 4got sumtin else~~~ which is my sesame oil -.-; i was tinkin wat was missin n ti din strike my mind until... after i finished eatin.. -.-; im that bad at rememberin wat is imp i guess~ so, wat i had was soy sauce, water, sugar, ginger powder n nxt time + sesame oil.. mayb it will b closer 2 my version of perfect sauce.. though i doubt i will still b satisfied.. without d coriander at least.. since tat is where d frag comes from~ >.< and today was d 1st time i made mochi! well it def wasnt in d list of stuff i shud do bt since i had time.. i did it.. overal it was ok bt it took me quite some time since i was cookin + makin mochi at d same time --> cant concentrate or do both at quick pace -.-; multitaskin cn backfire at certain points i guess -.-; so yeah... bt well.. mochi was ok~ though im x satisfied.. im more forgivin since its d 1st time i made it.. so yeah.. total experiment so i guess it worked~ :D n mayb joyce mite drop by 2 taste some 2mr.. hehehe n i mite stil continue 2 do my assign when she is here~~ :D bad me.. as a host -.-; bt i cant help it since i wanna finish my reading, start my paper n memorize my vocab >.< hahahaha 3 more things 2 do.. more like 2.5 things 2 do..so yeah!

ps: i tink im waaayyy more productive these 2 days than my normal weekends :DD

Plans for the 3 days Break~~~

okok so akhirnye isnin ni cuti *rindu nk gune bm >.<* hahaha nk kate all things r goin fine.. x reli... cm a bit disappointment bt there r also some joys here n there~but well.. wat is life wihtout d downs.. u cn nvr always b at d top~ being down makes u appreciate hw it feels 2 b up~ sumtin like tat.. sadness makes u appreciate happiness and pain makes u appreciate joy~ or sumtin like tat~~nevertheless... i have plans 4 d weekends~ 3 days break~~ at least these are the stuff i OUGHT to do... doesnt mean im gonna do it.. but i def shud >.<

1. clean up d room
2. laundry *tis is def goin.. since its a weekly thing* + cook sumtin nice 4 myself ^^ --> since ive been eatin xtremely simple stuff these days -.-;
3. start PHYS 110 paper
4. finish up korean composition
5. get done wif 'i-am-gonna-be-an-aunty-soon' project
6. get enuf sleep n rest
7. memorize vocab...
8. finish up reading 4 SISEA 242

ok.. 8.. only.. ONLY??!! >.< i guess i shud say.. 8???! a lot! >.< i wonder if ill b able 2 get it done by d end of monday.. maybe i would.. mayb i wouldnt.. but well.. i def shud gv it a shot! ^_^

Just a few things over the weekends

weekends were busier than i expected 4 several reasons~ no1. cleaning day. yeah! i was doing quite major room clean up over the weekends *incl climbing my table and puttin stuff on the cupboard* and putting things at places where i think are most appropriate. just to make my room look bigger *though it is small, really* nevertheless... i can tell you it is getting messy again.. the usual me.. -.-; so much for cleaning like a mad person.. another reason i was a cleaning frantically is because there were oreo crumbs on my floor because of sumtin i was makin.. i was like WTH! y am i so messy >.< so yeah --> vacuum --> alcohol --> clean up~ ^^ it made me happy though reli reli reli exhausted...

and yeah... tempering n coatin choc is fun but time consumin... no1 nvr make it in d middle of d nite.. since i was cleanin in d afternoon n evening... i made d great decision 2 temper stuff at nite.. after 10pm.. -.-; and it lasted til well past midnite... temperin was ez bt x coatin.. coatin was... at some point.. a pain... esp since i made d stupid mistake of mixin a few at d same time --> clumped together --> FAIL! T.Taftr tat i gotta make another batch of tempered choc n tis time --> learnt my lesson --> did 1 by one... *d reason 4 it lasting till well past midnite* i wasnt exactly unhappy or cursin it.. *which is unusual 4 me x 2 do if im tired* i was pretty.. umm.. contented n happy... sumhow ^^ and well... lets jz say i tink it paid off.. *2day at least*

n well... one of my classmate prepard sumtin 4 d whole class 2 vday.. n well.. i thought.. mayb i shud do tat too.. so i did wrapped some stuff 4 d whole class... bt obvi d choc were x homemade... some hersheys frm safeway wrapped in *mydin* plastic bags *since i have nutin else 2 wrap it in... -.-; im glad i still have ribbons.. n yeah.. since it took ages.. *though id say wrapping n makin box was way longer* bt i was complainin a bit 2 my friend but i was stil hepi n satisfied though i managed 2 get it done ^^ so yeah.. mission accomplished... the small mission 4 my classmates n d other one which have been planned 4 quite sometime.. though id say i wanted 2 make another kinda choc bt it failed --> so d 1 whch was done was actly a last minute change of plans~ bt im still pretty satisfied~ ^^

despite bein a bit down bt i managed 2 pull things off well.. life gotta go on.. no matter how hard things go... i noe *n i reli belive* there are always those who would look after me.. n id def take care of them too.. *bt at diff degree 4 diff peepz* XD *i sound evil.. wait... i am evil... :D*

a dreamer's wish~

today is like yesterday
as the sun shines and the wind blows
and i let my soul rest
to sync and sing with the chirping birds
as yesterday becomes a history
and today becomes a memory
and i make a wish for tomorrow
even if the sun stop shining and the wind stop blowing
my heart would still overflow with this warm feeling
overflowing with joy
and thoughts of you.

my little heaven

i was doin my readin 4 my sisea 242 class.. hee.. as usual, daydreaming and gettin distracted: my specialty ^_^

The past was when the sky was bright
the past was when laughter filled the empty space
the past was when we could run freely like the birds
crossing the green fields and flowers smiling brightly
wind dancing to the rhythm of nature
and us... happiness filled our soul.

what robbed us from our little heaven?
the past i've known tainted with the black yesterday
the lingering taste of happiness has died
red sea on the green field
lifeless bodies lying on this sacred land
children crying and women singing endless song of pain
where is the heaven i once called home?

trying to erase the darkness
as i stood alone at the green field
searching for hope in the blue sky
looking for the light from within the darkness
planting seeds of strength from the buds of sadness.

waiting... again and again...

waiting can either make or break a person~ i guess it is a bad idea to make a person esp if that person is imp to u but wat makes things harder if u r actly imp 2 tat person jz tat u dun noe it n u sumwat make d other person wait 4 u without intending 2 do so~ as for waitin is concern, it depends on d contxt on hw long i could take it~ bt jz in general... im x a fan of waitin; considerin my lack of patience and temper --> lol --> bad idea XD

cant deny though, durin tat period *long wait* id usually reflect on myself and rethink of my position... wats on d surface mite x b d same wif wats inside... bt at d same time d more i try 2 hid d more it shows, mayb~ and at one point perhaps its best to jz let it flow~ emotions is sumtin which i like 2 equate to water. stop it frm flowing --> build up --> can either later dry up or it cn ruin d dam *d dam being my common sense, maybe* so yeah --> either way its bad; either i numb myself frm feeling it again or i break... lettin it flow puts me in a vulnerable position bt yeah~ id say im x tat gud at it bt well... due 2 my selfishness... i shud do tat sumtimes though d more imp sumtin is 2 me, d more id try 2 hide it bt tink about it again, mayb x 2 much of hiding~ XD ok, i dunno bt well~ i wouldnt do anytin too public... i guess at some point id rather it go unnoticed... ^_^ 난 정말~ 바보처럼~ 근양... at one point it feels like im tryin 2 prtct my own self by doin tat.... though i noe i mite hv hurt myself evn more cz of tat... >.< 지금 어떻게 해야 돼? 기다리지 않으면 슬프고 계속 기다리면 마음이 아프거든~ ㅜ.ㅜ there i go.. talkin nonsense again.. mayb i shud focus on my reading~~~ ^_^

(Glass Heart)
A shattering sound
and i searched for the broken glass
yet these blinded eyes
see nothing but a picture of self
numbed from the chill of cry
and yet the lips were painted with a smile
could a person be buried with deception
to cover a feeling with a feeling
and that deceiver is I
the empty smile on a hollow image of me
continuously bleeding without a sign
as i am the owner of the broken heart of glass.

no, i'm just writing nonsense~

as usual, i was being a bit emotional after the drama i watched ended~ well, it ended at 1am last night but i only get to sleep at 130-ish because i was reminiscing the whole story~ XD i would say there are some facts found within the context of the drama but i think there are definitely some which was added deliberately in order to make this drama a drama, not a historical documentary~

talking about drama~ on the way back home from school i was thinking *after hours of watching drama* our life is a drama itself~ the curtain was raised as soon as we were born and will be dropped once the time comes... don't you think so? as much as directors used downturns and happiness to stir emotions within the viewers, if we were to reflect upon our previous deeds, we might realize that our life might be more dramatic than the dramatic dramas' that we have watched. T.T --> again another nonsense... but perhaps the reason these events went silently pass us is because it happened within a long period of time throughout our life instead of being shown 1 hour daily or weekly on tv~ time gave us space to think and calm ourselves down before the next major event happens which makes the rush of feelings to not be as intense as the drama~ yes, there are events which remain etched in our hearts and some which remain as painful as when it happened but well~ as time passes by, it will eventually heal a bit and it will help us to be stronger ^_^ as long as a person owns a heart and some conscience, believe it or not~ they could change to be better in the future :)

the small things which happen in life occurs all the time and as in the drama i guess it is true that small events do shape your mind~ and make a big difference~ a simple note or a simple smile from the person important to you could make a big difference... and a simple stare or provocation from the person who you take as your enemy could stir the worst emotions from deep within your heart. i guess i know this quite well because... that is how i am? maybe~ i myself have yet to understand and totally comprehend how my brain works, so~ yeah...

my story has yet to end and so is yours~ there are still a lot of things which we will go through, good or bad, alone or together, but i think we should always remind ourselves that there is always a reason behind each events and we should learn to benefit from each of them despite how painful it is or despite how meaningless it seems to us at first sight~ we are the actor, director but others are the audience. let's continue our small journey and make the best our of everything! ^^ *major rambling*