back home!

so well.. its been almost 2 weeks im in kyuem and at d moment im back home.. n practically listening 2 3 songs... d world's greatest, keep holding on as well as my BATCH songs which is standing in d eyes of d world.. b4 tis.. all 3 songs were juz songs 2 me but now since it is tied wif memories frm my college i guess ill alwayz cherish these songs.. though d worlds greatest belongs 2 batch 10 n keep holding on belongs 2 no1 but i guess all 3 songs r important 2 me now...

on wed nite v had tis batch anniversary 4 our batch 10 seniors.. at d end of d celebration d seniors were singing their batch song n it practically touched my heart.. i dunno y.. n d face which i remember most is d president of d students council which is ariff.. mayb coz he was standing in d middle so yeah, he was d first i spotted... n then my dear friend of mine as well, amira... reli havin fun... they look soo close 2 each other tat it made me feel sumtin deep down inside...

ok so now im bck home.. i miss my bed.. my beloved bolster n definitely my ducky which i usually hug evry nite when i go 2 bed.. i also brought home all my hw.. n i reli mean all.. frm maths 2 history 2 english... (havent started eng lessons but there is alredi hw!!) i juz came bck n im goin shoppin these weekends... need 2 get a new bag 4 classes, new pair of shoes n at d same time try 2 figure out who r my pet familiy members.. im gonna call all of them my pet2 4 d time bein.. juz til i find out who they r..

so yeah, juz nw farah eliza came n fetch me wif my bro n mum n d 3 of us met afi coz farah noes afi... i nvr knew tat n yeah afi is my house captain.. wat a small world...

okies, now loadz of stuff r circulating around kyuem.. guess im in2 d college alredi! :)

d first week! :)

So, well… im now in kyuem… although its no denying tat it is not located at one of d best locations as in its reli reli in d middle of nowhere but I guess it is kinda cool if u juz need a place 2 study..

Induction week is stil on.. its frm last tues tilt is tues… n on tues nite I wil b getting my schedule… it has been a seriously bz week… woke up at 530am n sleep at 12++ or even 1am… d seniors reli did make our schedule pack.. n in a way I believe there is a gud reason for tis.. which is 2 make us feel warm, welcomed n definitely not 2 miss home tat much.. esp wif tis kinda new env… if they dun keep us bz.. some of us ere mite end up not bein able 2 focus on preparing ourself 2 study ere in college n b home sick all d time… so though it is tiring… n I mean SUPER TIRING.. but in a way im glad its there… though I cant deny tat induction week did scare me up.. by d sound of it… if oni u cud c hw I worried 4 it.. n when its about 2 end… I tink ill always treasure tis week 4eva… getting 2 noe others n seniors, its cool…

As for hw d week is being done… well, its kinda simple.. all 176 (I tink..) of us r divided into 15 groups… well, im in group 4 n my facilitators r nonnel n zatesa.. cool peepz both of them… glad had them as my facis but d other seniors r cool as well.. no doubt… but mayb coz nonnel n zatesa r my fascis so perhaps tatz wat make me remember them better I tink… activites comprises frm physical ones… mentally challenging ones n yes, a mixture of both 2… but overall, its kinda fun except d part where I gotta wake up extremely early unlike those 7 month lazing at home… hehehe

Its raining quite heavily at d moment.. tatz y I hv sum free time at d mo.. soon enuf im gonna get ready 2 go for dinner n prayers… oh yeah, I hv 4 chalet mates which r umu, zati n skyn@sakinah.. Cool mates… nice ones… always comfortin 2 b wif them…

Wat else… wat else.. I guess nutin much.. I cant b xplainin all bout d activities bein done.. gonna take ages n ages n ages… but all I can say is im gonna treasure tis week 4eva… so yeah, lookin 4ward 4 my classes n startin my college life (startin..coz I haven’t been able 2 digest tat I AM in college now..)

d day out!

so today.. its a friday dated.. umm... umm... izit 10? since i havent started my college n finishd school n work.. ive nvr remembered wats d date... n at times day 2! all i noe is tat tis comin tues is 15th july.. n tatz bout it.. lame n definitely, pathetic rite? it makes me feel idiotic... not rememberin d date n all

so 2day i went out wif farah eliza.. (hidup farah kuasa dua!!) 2 summit... not a real fancy place 2 go but its d nearest 2 home n tat wil do us quite good... so v went out 2gether n farah belanja me evrytin.. it reli did shock me n countless times i askd her not 2 (frm meal 2 ticket n even bought me a bookmark! 2 sweet of her!) i so feel ind debt wif her n definitely grateful 4 wat she did 4 me..

so wat we did was watch a movie.. journey 2 d centre of d earth... its quite a fun movie... though illogical but its entertaining.. d visual is good n d casts r cool... i mean 2 me they did an excellent job... both of us felt d same way.. it was hillarious n din bore us at all.. though at d beginning it was quite slow... but well, it wasnt a bad movie at all.. tat i can assure...

b4 tat we had our lunch at kfc n went 2 mph.. as well as d pharmacy 2 get myself a couple of lipbalm... prevention frm dried lips i spose.. my lips r startin 2 get dried these few days.. i tink it is... so yeah, bought a couple of repair n protect lip balm.. sumtin like tat... n v walld 4 a bit.. lookd around a bit.. as there r not much v can do in summit.. not many shops around, obviously... sunway is waaaayyyyy cooler! defnitely 1 utama is d best! n midvalley is not tat bad either... but yeah, i got wat i needed n tatz wats important...

v talkd quite a lot in summit.. frm school 2 fwenz 2 crappy stuff... v left home approx 215 n went bck at 540 if im not mistaken.. n obvi, if ur in summit ull definitely bump into few cfil students.. which i dun reli look 4ward 2 unless im close 2 tat person...

so tat was hw i spend my day on fri... my last outin b4 college starts! let d countdown begin!

Change of Plan!

So I thought I was goin 2 kdu... but now i actually am goin 2 kyuem.. when i ans peepz q on where i was goin.. i said kyuem (recently..) n they actually would ask me wat is tat n where izit... ive nown bout tis college 4 quite sumtime.. din noe it was actually unpopular wif others..

so actually kyuem is kolej yayasan uem.. it is located in lembah beringin.. n im takin up a levels (econs, maths, history) it is not located in a place like kbu, kdu, etc where it is in d center of d city n such.. but i spose it is a place where students can concentrate on their studies since there arent any distractions.. n well, i wil b stayin there since it is 1 hour drive frm home.. it is compulsory 4 students 2 stay in i guess... n wil b stayin in either an apartment or a chalet.. in each chalet there is 4 rooms n each room is 4 one student.. privacy.. cool! n well, swimming is compulsory there 2 n honsetly speakin its ages since i last swam... i juz hope i dun bcome d idiot in d pool..

so. well.. tatz bout it.. 15 july is registration day.. i guess it is gonna b kinda sad since its my mum's bday at d same time.. n i havent done d bday card yet! im wastin time.. better start doin one now.. so guess ill record wat happens durin orientation once im free! :)

Evry1 is gone!

well, literally speakin d title is almost true.. not 2 say evry1 hs gone missing but well, not evry1 reli.. but almosy evrybody is startin their studies! nw ill b left alone soon... but i wil alwayz have farah eliza since she wil b around til september..

lets c... who hs started.. almost evry1 is gonna start their studies soon! inclusive of farzan, mas, reen, khairul, nabil, iylia, athina, iz.. evry1! even kavi is in nz now... n i wil b startin oni tis 15th july... which is almost d last person 2 start.. i noe janet wil b startin sumwhere in august.. n yeah a change of plan, instead of goin 2 kdu ill b leavin 4 kyuem.. but im stil waitin 4 d offer letter.. i sent my application form n at d mo stil waitin 4 d offer letter.. i hope there is stil place 4 me.. juz one tiny place 4 me.. (yeah2..so called tiny place 4 me...)

i got an economics textbook frm a friend of mine.. it is seriously thick but i gotta believe in myself tat i cn do it as much as i believe my friends wil b able 2 succeed in wateva field they r in.. frm tesl 2 engineering 2 medic 2 dentistry 2 econs 2 law.. n wateva more... lots of field n i kinda found d rite path 4 me though im still keepin my options open... wateva comes 2 me n if its suitable ill definitely take it!

so d countdown begins 4 me 2 leave 4 lembah beringin n i shall bid my fellow friends sayonara n gambatte kudassai! :)

Cfill Open Day.

it was cfil open day.. well, unlike open days in colleges, uni, etc.. tis is d day parents go 2 d school n get feedbacks on their child's behaviour n take bck d report card n all sorts of things.. this is d day where certain students of cfil fear d most...u cn tell when students juz dun want their parents 2 noe wat they did in school..

d open day starts at 4 pm but it was raining reli heavily b4 tat.. so we went 2 school at 5.oo pm... un42nately, all d other classes were empty, as in not many parents left but my sis class was ful of parents! well, i din go alone so i left my mum in d classroom n went around wif megan.. i met her mother n all 3 of us were talkin happily.. chit chatting n yeah at d same time sweating. i thought it would b cool after rain but it was soo hot tat i was sweatin madly.. we talkd bout all kinds of stuff frm school 2 colleges 2 d current issues.. it was cool n d best is megan n her mum as well as her sis.. they look so alike! its alomst unlike me n my siblings.. i look d most different among them.. at least peepz cn tell my bro n sis r siblings but not me.. =(

i also met a few of my students.. darrel, thina, faris, paran n a few more 2g guys.. n i even had a drink wif kak diyana n met en zuraimi.. talkd wif few of them.. sposed 2 meet faris but 4got bout it so smsd him.. he got 71 for kh! tinggi 2.. im soo proud of him.. even my other students frm fail got c for science.. im so happy 4 them... reli happy... n i miss them too...

we went bck around 645 or sumtin like tat.. it took us ages there.. but im sitl happy 2 meet most of them.. 2 be around them again.. 2 feel d environment of bein a teacher n yes, a student as well.. n yet watch it frm another view again.. as an outsider.. how odd.. im missin evrytin i hv...

after 5 years!

so as usual 2day...i went 2 fetch my sis frm school.. i do expect to meet some of my friends... juf, farah n khairul as usual.. juz hang around wif them... tat have been my routine wif my group of friends.. while waitin 4 our siblings 2 come bck frm school... its kinda a small meetin b4 we start our studies again..

so as usual, i saw juf, khairul, farah n irfan 2day... n mas arif... so i talkd wif farah.. at d same time, i heard juf mentioning a name which is practically reli familiar 2 me.. a friend like no other.. annoying but warm 2 hv wif.. its been 5 years since i met tat friend as mine...

i heard d name n ignored it coz mayb juf juz mentioned his name.. n i din c him around... til after farah n khairul went bck.. juf askd me 2 go d other side of khairul's car n there he was! farzan! after years!

i got so hyped up! i tink i was smiling away.. n my first hello greet 2 him was a hit on d shoulder.. i was so xcited tat i thought my brain stopped functioning 4 a while.. silly isnt it? but well.. d xcitement of seeing him again aftet 5 years... n d fact tat he hs always been a dear friend of mine... mayb tatz y it was a total xcitement n hyped me up...

so we talkd n juf said he calld me but i din hear him n he said d same thing.. i felt so bad.. but sape suro dia dok kat tyre keta... truk btul.. but i dun care coz i was soo hepi 2 c him again.. ureshii desu! honto yo! it was oni a few minutes encounter n yet, it left me hyped up til now.. xcept 4 d fact tat im gettin sleepy n my head is hurting me badly...

a new shocking fact.. juf n i were in d same house in primary school.. n oni farzan remembers i was bendahara last time n i definitely remember he is temenggong..well, i guess when u seperate frm friends after a long time.. it is fun 2 meet up again.. n juz 2 c their face can make our day!

HYPED UP 2 D MAX!! =)

dissappointment??

Failures... Dissappointment..

2 things we wil alwayz go thru in life.. i went thru 1 when i was 16.. leaving sumtin i reli care behind.. sumtin i always dreamed of.. yeah it hurts.. though it left a mark but at least it thought me 2 b stronger in a way.. tat things never go d way we want it 2 b at all times...

as for 2day.. i juz checkd my scholarship result.. and mayb it is not my luck, but i am a lil bit dissappointed by d fact tat i din get d scholarship.. i am rejected, once again.. after d rayuan thingy.. haihzz.. mayb its juz not my time yet.. but i guess.. i gotta take it positively and well.. make it a reason 2 do better in my studies in d future n get straight a for my a levels.... no reason 2 give up!

life is always unfair.. not reli always.. one thing i realised is tat usually d small things in life such as meeting sum1 again... when i pray 4 tat 2 happen it does happen.. like hw i prayed 2 meet sum1 again several times :)... but now, well, i guess... i dunno... dissappoinment.. stil tremblin.. but well.. life gotta go on..

a failure can b one mans falling pit or it can be d wings for a man 2 fly towards their dreams... choose wisely... n i chose 2 fly.. far away! towards my dreams.. thought many said tat d path i chose mite not b d best 4 me.. science stream offers me better choices in d future.. but i wanna b hepi wif my life.. wanna b hepi wif my career.. so arts stream is my choice... n i wil push myself harder 2 fulfil my dreams.. no matter wat comes in d future... i wil overcome all obstacles n create d new me who is stronger and wiser in many ways...

resolution of d day : never give up in life!

KDU... here i come! =)

Happy 13th Birthday!

so, today is 26th may.. it is my sister's 13th bday! at last she is 13.. hehehe actually i cant believe she is 13 now.. how fast time flies! she is still d same size but close to my height.. goodness, i am definitely gonna b d shortest in d family after this.. it is damn pathetic when i come to think of it... i hate being d shortest.. but i guess then i can compliment myself by being d cutest.. hehehe (perasan gyle me!)



so she invited a few of her friends over and so did i.. well, its coz d khairuls'brothers.. are going to move to shah alam.. though i will still be seing them around but i guess tis is almost like d last gathering at my house b4 he leaves us all behind.. (wat the heck..sounds so dramatic... as if we r never gonna c each other ever again.. )

so all of us gathered.. me, farah eliza, khairul azwar, khairul azmeer, faiz, arif.. juf was sposed 2 come over but somehow that fine young man ended up being in cameron highlands! well, arif n i planned 2 hit him up d next time we meet wif him.. we talkd bout lots of things.. fun to serious, education to life.. all sorts of things! n it is definitely fun 2 have them around... we had mi kari, macaroni, cake, n all sorts of things...

26th may is d bday for both d farah kuasa dua sister... nadrah n farah alia.. both of them turnd 13 on d same day though not at d same time. but who cares bout d timing.. d important thing is d date, rite? though its their bday, i hv more guests than them.. hehehe..

as soon as evryone is bck home.. my mum ended up sending 2 of my sis friend bck home.. i was sumhow so exhausted tat i fell asleep in d car... n continued 2 sleep til 8.10.. at home of course.. i juz moved my body out of d car n continued my slumber on d sofa.. hehehe... n my sis askd me : 'kak, flat sgt ke? tadi tgh charging ke?' as if i am a battery! n now as early as 9.00 pm she is alredi asleep.. now who is flat?

all things went well.. n i had lots of fun! hope we cn hang out again.. sumtime soon..

Me.. A Teacher? : Wrap Up... Last Day

D main event on the 13th of May is my..umm.. not retirement... but... well.. I can't find d word for it.. But to make it ez.. It is d last day for me being a teacher in Cfil.. The last day.. Finally it arrived... Not that I have been waiting for it to come.. But.. It juz came...

Honestly, Monday which is d 12th is sposed 2 b my last day but 4 certain reasons I was required to continue till 13th.. And yeah, it was kinda lucky for me 2 go coz d school was lack of teachers since a few teachers were on mc though d teacher which I replaced did start workin today..

So I entered a few classes on Monday which are 1e, 1c, 1b, 2c, 1l, and yeah..1c again.. 6 periods with class while d other 4 periods r free.. juz 4 free periods.. But well. I was running around d school and took breaks in between 2 buy drinks.. But it was a tiring day.. During d 9th period, I couldnt stand 1c nemore.. so I exchanged classes with Kak Zihan who is takin care of 1b.. tat class is more peaceful than 1c.. I dun mind students playin a fool wif me outside class.. But no in class esp during exam... It is juz soo unforgiveable... N in a way, it did hurt..
Mayb its coz i noe its my last few days.. so gettin a lil bit emo.. :P

D last day which is 2day... Well I am supposed 2 enter 2g, 1f, 2i, 2e, 1i and 2f... D last period is sposed 2 b free but i hooked myself up wif 2g again.. It is a coincidence but i dun deny tat i hoped 2 enter d class again.. noeing tat it might definitely b my last day 2 b in tat class again.. n i prayed hard 2 enter d class.. n true enuf! it came true.. hahaha.. i juz love d students in tat class... i tink ill miss them d most of all... esp d guyz...

Wat happened on d last day is tat.. a kid took my pas keluar n passed it 2 another friend n then i dunno wat happen 2 it.. I askd farid, afiq n shoba 2 get it bck 4 me.. but din manage 2.. in d end dunno which kid put it on pn juliana's table.. thank goodness i was able 2 retrieve it back.. its gonna b a disaster if i am not able 2 get it bck...

as 4 2g.. i enterd during d first period as i was told 2 do so... it was seni so we kinda talked n din reli follow d rules of d exam thing... n when pn maziha entered.. i tink d class got scolded haha..partially my fault too.. but... lets leave it behind... during d 2nd last period i was in 2f.. n i prayed silently tat i would enter 2g.. hehehe.. n i got it! it was kinda like d last period teacher din enter d class so i was sposed 2 find d teacher in charge but then i volunteered 2 enter d class.. hehehe.. clever rite? but during tat period a kid askd me bout a science q.. he got d ans right so i juz told him tat his ans is correct.. is tat wrong? he was freaking out bout it... really freakin out... when i told him his ans is correct..

as 4 d whole 2g class.. d gur.. wen li.. keep on sayin she luv me.. hahaha.. yeah... mayb coz im not as strict as d other teachers.. so mayb tatz y... n durin d 1st period faris got stuck wif his seni.. so practically i gave him a few tips.. even d other students who askd me got tips.. if they askd... tatz it.. n d whole class was makin noise when i talkd 2 him.. esp paran.. tat ketua tingkatan of 2g.. dun luk like a ketua tingkatan at all! n then another gurl said tat faris admired me.. tat was shockin but i ended up smiling and ask her 2 b silent.. while waving my hand indicating tat it is untrue... d class continued teasing.. n im not sure who said but juz coz im quitting so called faris-happy-time is over.. lawak!

during d last period, since i juz subbed in tat class.. one of them said its destiny!
hahaha as if i din hear wat they said.. keep on gettin on bout faris n i.. wat a class.. n as expected.. d gurl who said tat so called he admires me askd wat i tink of faris.. so i juz say tat faris is a nice guy but stubborn... a reli nice guy.. but stuboorn.. tatz all.. noktah.. n she was smiling away.. even when i called faris they will b teasing me bout hw i call his name.. in a way at times i juz cant look at him straight in d eyes.. juz lowered my gaze.. hmm.. dunno y... usually i do like lookin into other guys eyes.. not tat i dun look at his eyes at all.. but 4 a shorter period...but doesnt matter... d last period is d last time i would enter d class n b wif d students of 2g.. its kinda makin me sad.. but then... life has 2 go on!

so..being a teacher 2 me is a fun experience... u get 2 interact wif all kinda people frm teachers to admins to students.. d students esp.. all kind of attitudes... n it matures n at d same time makes me a child again.. being a teacher ignites certain feelings which i have never really felt b4.. its a mixture which makes me.. hmm.. juz cant xplain it in words.. but its a feeling i wil nvr 4get... never ever.. being a teacher makes me improve myself 2 become a person in control of all kinda c2ation... makes me learn hw 2 get my emotions in order n 2 hide emotions which r not appropriate 4 d c2ation or juz doesnt make sense 4 me 2 show it to public.. yeah... sumtin like tat...

so.. tat ends me bein a teacher.. feel soo relieved bein off duty buy in a way it makes me sad too... reli.. i tink im gettin attached 2 them... hm.. but life gotta go on! gotta continue studies! hihihi... gud luck 2 both myself n students of cfil..

u never get wat u wan in life all time.. but tatz wat life is about.. flaws, joy, happiness and sadness.. its a mixture.. life is empty n incomplete wout them... so enjoy n all d best!

Me.. A Teacher? : Week Six

So.. This is the 6th week I am a teacher... The 6th and almost the last week... She is due to be back this 13th of May and I shall make it official when is my last day I will be a teacher... It is either 12th May (monday) or later... That, I don't know.. But I have a feeling my last day might be this Monday... hmm... yeah... soon

So, updates on this whole week... It is actually the beginning of the exam week.. but since the exam started on thursday.. so yeah, I had time with my classes until Thursday before recess...

so, on Monday, I had cooking class for my 2E which is practically my last lesson with them.. It is not that I don't see them after that but it is just that on Monday it was my officially my last day entering their class for my lesson with them.. No more teaching with them after this... Bout 2E, the class was cooperative... and then it is the class which cleaned the bengkel masakan... So, I sat with Afiq Ilyas, Haziq and Farid (Farid keeps on disowning his own group.. coz the rice din't reli taste that good) And well, it went really well!

Next I also had cooking with 2h on thursday.. It was a shock we still had cooking coz after rececss the form2 students had exams after recess.. I kinda took it as a treat before their exams.. And they served me six plates of rice for me to finish! It was sooo scary and freaky! Too much food!

D other classes were fine and cool... But I would like to touch more 2g... Well, I had 2G on wednesday and 3 periods of that class... So, I started off with doing some revision on electronics... b4 tat, it is my habit of standing out of the class before 2g starts bcoz my class is rite after recess.. so i get bored waiting inside of the class.. hence, standing out of the class... so before i started, the boys were askin me wat am i doin outside.. i was just lookin at d basketball players having fun playing n then suddenly one of them asked if i was waiting for Faris. he kinda said tat he is in d class n then suddenly he juz appeared n juz enterd class.. then Kelvin said.. eh teacher, he is here already.. dun shy la.. enter la d class...

so i started off with electronics and before i can go further.. suddenly Paran or sum1 said that Faris is crying.. So called! annoying brats but tatz y i favour that class! AHAHA... Juz bcoz its my last class... hahaha.. so i stopped teaching and askd them 2 stop continued and by d time its 5.30 i juz cant continue teaching... with d chaos... hahaha not reli chaos its juz tat i felt silent.. n kept on laughing and when I askd them wat made them tink Faris and I have something they started pointing at each other who started it all first.. But practically I know y it started... So, juz to confirm.. and some of them r true while d others i dun notice i did those things like bullying Faris. I stil am wondering when did I bully him.. when they try to divert tat they are actually not talking bout Faris Aiman and said it is about Aiman Faris I 'killed' them by saying that even Aiman Faris is my student.. And Paran knew he is trapped!

As soon as I touched bout cooperating with their actual teacher, they gave all kinds of responses... Not reli positive ones but wasnt that bad... When I said that it is tiring to teach n b pregnant at d same time, again Paran asked me how do I noe.. Do i have any experience.. Coincidently...when I said common sense he actually asked who is the father.. And due to my common sense answer he gave Faris a shocking look and I laughed and went to him to hit him and he said he was looking outside.. As if!

So, I had lots of fun during my last class in 2G... Real fun.. I will miss each and evry one of them.. I pray the best for them.. Hope they will do well in their PMR, SPM and most important that they wil b able to realize their dreams and well.. be who and what they wanna be... I pray for the best for them....

and now it actually hurts knowing i wont be teaching or making jokes or seeing them evryday again...

Me.. A Teacher? : Week Five

I just ended my fifth week as a substitute teacher this evening. The classes I had today are 1C and 1E (both Science classes) and 1A (KH : KT). I officially ended my class with 1A today.. Today was my last lesson with that class. Practically, we did nothing much... We studied a little bit of jahitan and did some revision on the previous chapters which are coming out for the examination.. And that was about it..

As for 1E... I had this density experiment with them.. I thought I am saved from any disastours... Unfortunately, before we even started the experiment, one of my students broke the glass slide! What 'wonderful' students I have... Various attitudes.. He was smiling away and apologizing no doubt.. But I was devastated... But well, no turning back time... No way that I can save the glass slide...

Earlier in the week, on Monday.. I had class with 2E... This time they paid a little bit more attention to me due to the fact that I asked them to prepare for cooking next Monday. So, I got them to pay a little bit more attention to me than usual... Oh yeah, Afiq Ilyas was sick on that Monday.. So, he is quieter than usual that day.. Not as noisy as usual...

On Wednesday, 2G had their cooking class... It is practically part of the syllybus in form 2 KH... So they cooked nasi goreng and all in all it is ok... Not bad for guys I suppose... We had fun time together and than... Yeah, we enjoyed ourselves!

The other classes...Things went as usual... But for now, I can officially confirm I will miss all my classes.. No matter how much I complain about them I think I have made them a part of me... A small place in my heart.. For most of them I think...

Oh yeah, this is the first time I celebrated Labour's Day! Hahaha.. Really odd! I practically enjoyed and celebrated my day by resting and sleeping... But it is a real relief to get this rest! Really... really... made me feel good...

So, soon begins my last week in Seafield as teacher... The last few days I will be a teacher...

And time flies...and the good time dies...

Have you ever realized that whenever you are having a good time, it feels like time flies pass us very fast.. Unlike if you are bored or anything like that...

That is precisely how I feel at the moment. I think time is going pass me too fast that if it is possible I want it to stop.. I want to enjoy and feel the same feeling over and over again.. The joy, happiness and yes, annoyance...

Missing people...I just don't enjoy it but I am addicted to it.. Missing the good time... is an addicition... And yet these feelings are able to arouse both joy and pain at the same time. How painful it is to me... Cry and smile at the same time.. And yet...It is an addiction to me to feel this feeling

Each second is very precious.. If you let it go, you will end up losing track on what is happening and worse still become numb towards how you are feeling...

As time flies, the good time dies... Leaving us to make up our mind to either live on or stay behind... It is all in out hands.. As it dies, we should go on living though.. Cause the memories will always keep our soul alive...

Me.. A Teacher? : Week Four

The fourth week of my teaching have just ended. It is now official that I am a teacher for one whole month.. Right? For weeks is one month... And I can officially say that being a teacher for one whole month now is not easy at all... It is full of stress... Dear students, if you think being a teacher is a laughing matter and that all of us are qualified being a teacher (even if you are a straight a students), you are wrong... Being a teacher requires you to be patient and cool with the students... Friendly and yet strict... It isn't easy being a friend and a teacher at the same time... You just got to learn to identify the border and not cross the line.

Practically on Monday, in my 2E nothing much happened. Of the whole class only 3 paid attention and by now I just couldn't care about them at all... Maybe I have lost my patience in teaching that class... They really did convince me that I am not suited to be a teacher... They really did... After that, I had two classes..Science classes and I did experiment with them... This time only a beaker broke.. Guess it is an imrpovement! =)

The other days nothing much happened. Wednesday I enterd 2G as usual... My foreman was absent and he haven't passed up his book till Friday! And for certain reason, I am being really patient with him. What is the certain reason, I myself have no idea. Instead of being angry or things like that, I am still looking forward to get his book but now (since he haven't passed up), I am the one getting stressed up and dissappointed and at some point feel like crying for not getting the book. Honestly, I have waited for his book for approximately two weeks... My patience is still there but it is killing me bit by bit...

On Thursday, 2H... I got to relief that class during the 2nd last period... Which accummulates me to have four periods with that class! What a whacky class... I saw all kind of attitudes in that class and I guess I could go crazy because of that... But now when I walk to my car, I have two escorts from 2H who helps to carry my bag or books to the car... What annoying yet sweet guys..

Friday, I was late for my science 1C class.. This is due to the fact that I was hunting for my 2G foremen... I was late for approximately 5 mins... After I met Kak Nurzihan and told her everything about not getting my books... Then she said she understood! We started on the same day and well... Both of us are new to this kind of thing! And the stress... It is killng me... The expectation I have for my classes are dying out... But I hope they will change... I somehow still have faith in them and hope they will do well in their examination... Someday they will realize how important it is to pass up their homeworks and well... I pray they will understand how we teachers feel when students don't pass up their homework... Because of it is difficult for me to get his book, I even asked for his phone number and going to sms him and remind him to bring his book...

That is all that happened... Nothing much but oh yeah... I am starting to get the feed back for my sports day documentation! That is good! Waiting for Monday to come (not really waiting for it...) And my last two weeks of teaching countdown will begin soon....

Me... A Teacher? : Week Three

So, there goes the week three of my working days as a teacher. Well, this week there are some updates on what I have been doing as a teacher... Nothing much, but something different... I tried two different ways to approach the students to get them to pass up my homework..but I guess none of them worked... Maybe it is quite a good thing that I am due to work for only another two weeks or so...

Well, on Monday I got really angry with 2E... I think I talked and scolded almost evrybody in the class... And you can see the faces of them..cursing me, of course... only a few pass up the books.... frustrating but I don't really care..maybe because I just don't have the heart to teach that class...But I did some revision on electronics with them..I still taught them a few things..

On Wednesday I talked with the 2G...especially those who haven't pass up their hw.. I thought it would work but guess it did not..Guess they are good at acting..They showed sorry and apologetic faces but they still didn't pass up their homework...What bunch of kids... And I thought they are better than the others.. Guess I am wrong!

The other days are not that bad... I have given my science classes their test... the review test...Their marks are not cool at all! Many failed the paper... But I hope they are able to catch up and do well in their mid-year examination... I hope they will.... I will feel bad if they don't... I guess it will feel as if it is my fault if they did badly in their examination...

On Saturday, Seafield had their Sports Day in MPSJ. Well, obviously I went because I am involved with documentation. So, I went there at approximately 7 am with my sister and I straight away went to join the teachers while my sis went to her uniform unit. So, at first I took care of the track... En Tasnim borrowed my black pen and he ended up losing it! I think I showed him a you-annoying-useless-brat kind of look to him that he explained me several times that he will buy me another new pen.

I practically walked around the whole time. Sit with Kak Zihan and walked around with Asma... It is fun doing that. We talked about all sorts of things... From school to camping to personal stuff... Interesting! At the end of the day during prize giving session I was with Puan Zunaidah, Puan Shahrizad and Puan Norhayati Mohd... And talked for awhile until I saw my dad. And then I saw him standing near En Zuraimi. So i went to my dad first and asked him to wait for awhile and I went down to find for En Azahar but ended up meeting another teacher whom I address as kakak only as I don't remember her name...She is also involved with documentation and so she told me to relax for the time being... Good right?

After that, still during prize giving session I talked to En Zuraimi. He asked what am I involved with today and I said that I am involved with documentation. So, he just smiled and we talked for a bit. We talked bout a few things from work as teachers, him not finished with his question papers for the mid-year examination, his police cadet camp (two of his students got hysteric during the camp), the various students in school, his busy schedule, and that he is late from meeting his friend...all due to the fact that this year the sports day finished at 2.15pm unlike last year which ended at 12.00! Shocking right how time flies...

I guess that is all that happened on the 3rd week... This Monday there is photography session with my class...1Elok! hahaha cool right? This is going to be my last year that my picture will be in d Minda Magazine... More work to be done! Counting my days left for my teacihng days....

Me... A Teacher? : Week Two

Here comes week two...Actually to be honest it is now the middle of week three...But I guess I will just explain what happened in the second week...Although it is getting blur by today...

I have started teaching 2 E and it is true that the class is quite bad. The students are stubborn, etc... But still teaching must go on. So, practically..I ignored the students sitting at the back...Just teach those who wants to listen..But somehow I have this feeling which keeps on bugging me and telling me that they are not really laerning but enjoying themselves teasing and bugging me while I am teaching.

As for now...I am certain that I favour two classes...Both KH classes...1 Jujur and 2Gigih.. I always look forward to enter those classes...Although they still do tease me around but at least they are more obedient than the others.. Nice and cute guys...Cute as in some of them don't look like as if they belong to the secondary school... Especially their height...Even their thinking is very immature... I can go on laughing in 2G for all kinds of answers they give me during P&P... What classes I have...

So, on Saturday I had this Anugerah Cemerlang or Speech Day thing going on in school and I am invited to the ceremony not as a teacher but as an ex-student...It is kind of weird hanging around the school as both a teacher and ex student. It makes you feel cramped in between... With me calling the teachers 'cikgu' and the students calling me 'cikgu' and my friends calling me 'cik farah' just to tease me...

On friday i went to sleep over at my friends house... It is because my whole family attended a function in Pahang which I refuse to attend... Since I need to teach and all...I don't feel like ditching class... Hahaha... As if it really matters... I think in a way the students will be happy if I am not around.. Then they can continue messing and wasting their time around... It is very typical for students to spend their time in that manner..

I spent 3 nights at my friends house... During Speech Day, I actually spend my time before the function with a new teacher who started teaching the same day as I did...Cik Nurzihan... and the rest of the day with my fellow mates... For my SPM, I got a certificate frm the school, a trophy and RM50...I thought RM50 is not bad but unfortunately many complained and asked me why is the money given just that amount... How different we think..

I guess I shall stop here for my 2nd week update... Need to mark papers.... Many papers!! hahaha.. what a life... hectic life; being a teacher...

Me..A Teacher? : Week One

It was a coincidence I was offered a job as a teacher in my previous school. Who would have expected me to be one? I, the person who have been telling others that it is impossible for me to commit myself to be a teacher am now a substitute teacher for one of the teachers who is on labour leave at the moment. I was just about to leave when I met the 'Penyelia Petang' who then told me of the situation.. They are lack of a Science and KH teacher.. So, after discussing with my parents, I took it and started my day as a teacher on the next day itself which was 1 April 2008.

First day wasn't that bad. Started off the day with 1 Jujur... Kemahiran Hidup and I was teaching them Kemahiran Teknikal...Which I can honestly say I am not good at it. KT have always been seen as a guys business and I have taken no heed on this subject before until I am assigned to teach the subject to others. So, I was practically struggling with that subject... I ended up studying the subject before every class and it looks like I am studying more than the students themselves...This subject, I am teaching both Form 1 and Form 2...And obviously, Form 2 syllybus are much more challenging than Form 1..Technical Drawing is the chapter which is really testing me. My plans and elevations for my Modern Maths, I have never scored and here I am teaching Technical Drawing to the Form 2 students...Ironic isn't it?

As for Science, I am teaching only two classes which are 1E and 1C...Oh yeah...have I mentioned that I am the class teacher for 1E? Things are definitely not going easy especially when you are not used to the system and suddenly you get lots of responsibilities at the same time... But thank goodness it is still under control... Things are not going that bad. And I think it is due to the fact that I still do have a hang of my science. Years of studying science have overcome the few months of not studying any science at all after the SPM... Guess it is worth it struggling with my science subject since year 4...till form 5...

Today, Monday, is the day I conduct an experiment with both of my Science classes... Everything went well except when they are cleaning up the apparatus... Suddenly in 1E a student dropped the glass slide...Not mentioning somebody who broke the cover slid....As for 1C....a gurl broke the white tile...What a day! A day of breaking apparatus and materials used for experiments.... Bad isn't it? But I guess that is one way or another for the kids themselves to learn to be more cautios and responsible in handling apparatus in d future.

At the moment I am taking a break from planning out my teaching lessons for the whole week...I need to pass up my teaching record book every Friday afternoon inclusive of reports for my lesson for next monday..So I need to be able to plan my lessons properly.. Planning really well... So that I don't panic during each classes...

So, there goes the first week of my teaching... Conclusion, I had three meetings during that week (KH, Science, and all teachers meeting), got a headache for needing to mark too many books at the same time, met students with various attitudes (really..too many attitudes that sometimes I think I might go crazy..) and thought my old uniform unit how to march. It was a pack week but I guess at the end of the day I was enjoying myself quite well... Teaching can be fun, if you know how to handle it... :)

To Love and To Be Loved

Just yet another day have passed and only now do I have slight idea what to write at the moment. This came across after watching a Korean drama. I have been pondering about this matter for a few days. It is not perfect yet as an idea but I guess its better to write something here than to leave it empty....

To love and to be loved. How many of us feels that we have love someone and feel love or affection being given by others? I guess I will start with being loved. Being loved is when others are around us and they care for us. Willing to spend time and to hear to our ups and downs at all times. I know many may call themselves as friends but among those thousands of friends who sticks to you the most... that is your true friend...and that is the person who is loving you. Loving as in caring for you. Caring is not equal to bugging... The person who loves you is a person who knows when to show concern and yet still make space for your own privacy. Have anyone in mind?

Now to the second part... to love. Saying the words of love is not as difficult to express your love. No doubt, expressing but not saying is no good either. But saying without actions are even worse..at least that is what I think. To love someone is to want to be with them at all cost.. and to protect them. Eventhough it you end up hurting yourself. Example, if you truly love a person, but he or she don't love you back...if you truly love that person..it is either you try your best to get her to return your feelings or you let her/him go to the person who owns their heart. A heart can never be traded with money, jewellery, etc. Think bout it.If you can trade your feelings for money... many might have done it. yes, marriage due to status and wealth is something common today but if they do not handle themselves well... either they crumble and do something wrong or end up being empty...numb towards their own feelings...

To love someone is the willingness to see pass through your own desires to fulfill others need. despite our own selfishness and wanting to catch our own dream.. if you truly love something, someone.. you might end up letting go of your dreams... sometimes you will try to do everything you can just to get that particular to smile again.. Even if it means hurting your own pride and tarnishing your own reputation.. sounds painful now... but wait till you find the right person.

But there is danger too... loving a person too much might blind you from the coming reality..don't forget including those who likes taking advantage on others. making a fool of others are some people's specialties... evil but that is reality... Hurting others is fun to some... some... not all...

Heartbreaks are normal...Being hurt is normal...pain is part of life which you must learn to embrace... d more you experinece the more you know about life... the better you handle unexpected things which occurs around you... A wound might heal but the scar will remind us of the past... both pain and joy... (hmm, doubt joy brings scar though..but well... =P) so, never give up on life...and never give up on finding those who needs your love nor stop searching for those who will love you in return... there is always enough love for all of us in this world.. if only you tried to look for it...