Tuesday, May 25, 2010

d 1st half of tues~~

..is horrible~~~

1. woke up in front of my lappy~~ tinkin~~ wat am i doin here?? then rmmbrd i ws spose 2 edit my paper b4 i feel asleep~~~
2. continued editin n shower n left 4 class
3. go 2 lib.. wanted 2 print paper... n then WOW I LEFT MY PURSE AT HOME @.@
4. go 2 class 5 mins late *cz was searchn 4 id* n xplained 2 ta =.="
4. searched 4 book.. missing... jz rmmbrd mayb dump it in wif othr books =.="
5. go 2 lib chckd if book there.. its not~~~
6. went bck 2 get stdnt id... *which meant i ditchd my 930 class.. its d 1st class i ditchd in my life* thn jz rmmbrd d so called lost book was in d other poket of d bag~~ >.< 7. frustrated --> ate my food 4 dinner at 1000am
8. soon--> go 2 lib n print --> hand in paper --> go 2 class HUHUHU

Sunday, May 23, 2010

break.. again ^^

yes i know.. i shud study but nevermind~~~

if u care 4 sum1.. u shud let tat person noe...
cz sumtimes s/he mite x noe.. or evn if s/he noes.. s/he mite x b sure~~~
n if u dun let tat person noe~~~
s/he mite get out of ur reach b4 u noe it~~ so..
speak up... ^^
if ur worried bout what if s/he would take it negatively~~
all i cn say is~~its better 2 let noe wat u feel rather than jumpin 2 conclusions~~
its worth it~~ at least ull noe wat s/he feels rather than playin riddles bout it~~ ^^

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


i just realized...
my 2nd paper 4 hist is due
next fri~~~~
and d next week is my sis 201 paper~~~
havent started my hist ppr at all >.< there goes my weekend >.< huhu

Monday, May 10, 2010

North Korea: Troublemaker?

As I am an international studies major concentrating on asia esp east asia i chose to write a paper on communism in North Korea and South Korea as my research paper for SIS 201: Making of 21st Century. i definitely do not have any prior knowledge on korea but well.. since korea is in east asia and i am interested in east asia *kor n jap esp* so well.. it is worth startin from scratch. it would def help me in my future classes.. esp since im taking korean civil in fall 10.. i hope ill b able 2 get into d class >.< my research is stil incomplete and it is due in a few weeks time but i am startin 2 it... and well.. since i have 2 long papers 2 write =.=" i guess i shud def start early.. my time division: morning --> reading assign n short essay, night--> research papers.. i mite even start alternating days 2 write both celtic and 21stC...

nvrtheles.. lets begin... i went to a talk last week i tink on north korea. i expected d talk 2 b pretty much proUS bt i was wrong.. i was reli impressed with the argument made by the speaker *though i cant rmmbr his name.. i noe! im so bad!!* and it def gave me more ideas on what 2 write 4 my ppr.. pretty inspiring talk i would say.. short but reli informative.

as much as d media described north korea as a state which is threatening the whole nation due to their nuclear weapon n practice of communism, we shud try 2 look at north korea frm diff perspective. as 4 their nuclear weapon, isnt it possible tat d world is lookin at it 2 defensively and jumpin 2 conclusion 2 hastily? creatin fear in other states on possibility of being attackd by north korea when they havent exactly attacked any other countries *xcept 4 south and i noe.. they hv also been threatening japan =.="* bt 4 othr countries 2 go hard on north is pretty much unnecessary. perhaps north korea itself is jz preparing 4 any possible attack from other nations, jz being defensive but it is misinterpreted by other states as nk being aggressive causing othr nations to buck up on military defenses jz in case they will b attackd by nk bt nk perceived it as an act of aggression, hence: tension due 2 security dilemma. *did it make sense?* as much as nk did not bug othr countries, its hostile rship wif sk shud nvr b slip frm our mind. d invasions, bombings, destruction shud also serve us as a reminder tat nk is capable of attackin othr nations. nk, as of now, oni cntinue 2 b hostile towards those whom they hv bitter historical rship wif: jap n sk... i tink i heard or read sumwhere bout nk wanting 2 launch a nuclear (?) towards d japan borders... i noe~~ silly n def provoked jap bt well~~~ japan's invasion on korea mite hv stil scarred n served as a bitter memory 2 koreans.. ive heard some1 sayin "koreans hate japanese" sumwhere which i dun get initially bt well.. knowin hw hard japan cn b on countries they colonize.. i guess it made sense in a way.. although at tis point, im pretty certain japan itself do not possess any interest of attackin othr nations bt wounds dun heal in a blink of an eye... although its been more than 50 years bt well... d sentiment of hatred mite stil linger with d older gen more than d younger who r more open now~~ i guess~~~ im x tryin 2 justify their acts but.. well.. it made sense in a way~~~

moving on.. kim il sung and kim jong il... they were portrayed thru d media as some scary dictators who are heartless, ruthless, etc.. reading books written by pro capitalism would def spark hatred frm d majority of us towards these communist leaders.. however, in ordr 2 balance these thoughts, y not try reading writings frm those pro communist? well.. not reli pro communist bt perhaps accounts frm those who are acquaintance of these two figures, or books written frm within nk itself.. yes, some mite tink that def these two leaders will b portrayed as d great leader wif all kinds of graciousness, etc.. bt dun u tink it is impossible 4 sum1 2 b totally cold hearted n not fulfill any needs of their people? i started my research wif 5 pro capitalist which made me uneasy.. their language n description of these two leaders was far frm being friendly. hostility frm d lang could b detected as us is constantly portrayed as d savior n nk as d troublemaker... like if they r building diplomatic ties, etc and it went wrong.. its always nk's fault.. highlighting evry single mistake made by nk.. n degrading any triumph obtained by them was their method of portraying nk... if younger generations are 2 b supplied wif oni these writings... it is highly possible tat they wont b able 2 understand nk at all~~~ im x sayin tat us is wrong n nk is rite.. bt... all states n leaders make mistakes evry so often and hence, there is x need 2 focus on each mistakes n make a big fuss of it... u could learn frm d big blunders n prove 2 us how their blunders were worse than ours but x 2 d point of degrading d whole nation itself. tat is a bit 2 much i tink~~~

my paper will b focusin on y communism persist in nk unlike in sk~~~ lol.. those 2 points r pretty much goin 2 b on my paper.. n i mite end up writin a para on y capitalism failed in nk~~~~ in ordr 2 b able 2 solve a prob.. we need 2 undrstnd d c2atn.. lack of understanding will jz worsen d condition.. like.. u tryin 2 heal urself when u dunno which medication 2 take.. u mite end up overdosin urself wif some medication and well... make things worse... no1 shud play doctor in buildin diplomatic ties wif nk.. instead, we shud try 2 hear wat nk has 2 say b4 askin them 2 listen 2 wat we hv 4 them~~~~ dif in admin system n econ model shud x make us enemies bt it shud promote healthy competition between one another. it is x about who is rite and who is wrong.. its more 2 accommodating one another for the benefit of both.. d promotion of free trade and cultural exchange between nations wif various differences would b able 2 lessen d gap between one another and hence, promote peace in d world... its bad enuf dat there r stil parts in d world which r at war.. and 2 make things worse... some r in recession n there is economical crisis ongoing~~~ i mite sound like an idealistic person bt i believe it is always possible 2 settle things peacefully rather than violently... one violence would lead 2 another which then increase hatred and reduce possibility of diplomatic ties and peace. so, d rship between nk n d world.. where is it heading?

almost a success ^^

so over the weekends i did my 1st gyoza~~~ honestly, experiments are definitely fun when it comes to cooking... my 3 main websites for experiments covers both Japanese and Korean cuisines but well.. i doubt ive managed 2 make it reli authentic esp since i dun 4low d measurements... my fav websites, Just Hungry, Just Bento and definitely Aeri's Kitchen, inspires *FUYOO* me 2 do more experiments.. esp over d weekends as a way for me to wind down from d craziness of assign, school, etc~~~~ so, my gyoza~~~~ it turned out well.. pretty much.. d filling tasted gud.. *4 me at least* XD n well.. d 1st attempt was quite bad as i put d flame 2 high which made d gyoza stick 2 d pan and it was 2 soggy.. so d 2nd time i made amendments 2 my fry-steam-d-gyoza-mission... d 2nd attempt: fried d gyoza 2 short, so d one side wasnt tat brown or crispy.. bt at least d amount of water is right so it wasnt soggy~~~~~ :D so well~~~ wasnt 2 bad~~ n tis time i froze my gyoza individually and kept it in a plastic bag.. OMG it made me feel reli proud of my own gyoza coz it lookd like those sold in stores *well.. d fact that they dun stick 2 one another reli made me hepi* lol.. not tat d taste and look is similar =.=" but nvm! worth d try ^^

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Bitter Illusion

it just so happened i felt like it... it was pretty swift when it happened.. bck form kendo.. 10 mins of lying on the bed thinking and this is what i get... *shud i put a smiley?*

a ship without a sailor
a kite without a string
that is me
lost in the midst of life
searching for an answer
behind the veil of lies.

walking aimlessly
a direction unknown to me
bodies pass by
lost; unknown faces
crowding my eyes.

a single soul; smiling
a ray of light beneath the cloud
warmth creeping within the rain
and i move towards the smile
with spirits hoping to set ablaze.

running towards you
a person i thought i saw
a single blink
the path you were there - empty
the warmth - cold
the light - darkness
the face familiar - foreign
and i stood still; thinking
of an illusion i once had
of a smiling face
and tears rolling
silently singing a melancholic rhythm
echoed through my soul.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

when im spose 2 do my essay~~~

lol.. im spose 2 do my essay but well...
i jz cant stop thinking of... of... of... ^^
wat i shud do i guess...
coz i cant stop thinkin of.. u ^^
if oni i cn jz get 2 say wats on my mind
n let u noe.. how important u r 2 me
bt i hv nvr been able 2 do so
bt i hope ud understand it
i hope u could c it in my eyes
bt i dont know if im 2 ambiguous 2 start wif~~
u hv x idea hw much i care
cz i jz do~~~ n it took me by surprise too ^^

*ok bck 2 essay... break time over*